S1, EP 5 - WHAT'S BEHIND CURTAIN NUMBER 3?

[Hondo]

I got one this week daddies, that you're gonna love! We gettin' funky like a monkey wit dis one!

As you well know, this is Royal Rumble season. And every year, Vince likes to bring surprises into the Rumble match. Sometimes the surprise works. And other times it doesn't, but we tell Vince it does anyway. Keeps us going to the pay windah, you see. We really want this Rumble to be special, considering the complete and utter failure of the match last year. So we're gonna open up the checkbook a little and make it so.

You need to bring in FOUR surprise entrants into the Royal Rumble match. You can bring in ANY wrestler you want, so long as they are NOT under a full-time contract to another wrestling organization in the United States, Canada or Mexico. You can bring in non-wrestlers if you wish, but those will have to be cleared through the front office first, as any appearance  will cost more than a wrestler's one-night fee. You have until SATURDAY @ 10PM EASTERN TIME to submit your plans. Good luck!

[Duckman]

Hey Dream, noticed you didn't mention Japan.  Can we use guys from there?

[Hondo]

Hey Dream, noticed you didn't mention Japan.  Can we use guys from there?

I'm glad you asked. We have developed some sort of a working arrangement with most of the Japanese promotions. Vince heard Jeff Jarrett was trying to get a foothold in Japan, and Vince made the agreements just to spite him. So yes, we can book Japanese talents.

[Hondo]

First scenario is already in. And boy is it a doozy!

This one has a beloved indy darling, a returning World Champion, and one of the greatest tag teams of all time!

OK Dream, time to play the crowd a bit here - it's Philly, which means E-C-DUBYA fans. I know, it'll never die. So lets tip the hat to them slightly here, and keep some of the old WWE fans happy.


We're gonna go One for the marks, one for the smarks, one for Philly.

Coming in at No. 11 - Lets bring out AJ Styles, seeing as we've got the Japanese connection going on. The live crowd is fairly smarky, and the internet will go crazy for it - It'll pop RAW's ratings the night after when everyone dives on it to see if AJ Styles is going to be back. Neat, eh?

Next at No. 18 - lets go for Stone Cold. Apparently he's had alot of rumours over the last 3-4 months about possibly wrestling one more match, which he's shot down hard. That's what'll make it all the more a surprise! big nostalgia pop and all those kids who're glued to the WWE network will be very chuffed to see him live, right?

These last two will need to come in towards the end and, unusually, come out one after the other;

Devon Dudley busts out at No. 25... but doesn't enter the ring. This'll send the crowd absolutely fuckin' nuts, 'cos they know what'll be coming next.

No. 26 - Bubba Ray Dudley. The place will go absolutely ape shit. Have them play up, charge the ring, smash, WASSUUUUUUUUP, 3D, boom. Then have big baddy heel - Maybe that Talos kid we've been pushing? - double eliminate them for SERIOUS crowd heat, before having Reigns/Bryan eliminate him for the pop.

[Goldferg]

How... loosely are we defining a 'wrestler' here Dream?

[Hondo]

How... loosely are we defining a 'wrestler' here Dream?

I'd say anyone who has worked as an in-ring talent for a wrestling company in the past 10 years would be considered a wrestler. Anyone other than that would more or less be a non-wrestler, and therefore subject to prior approval.

[Alex Smiley]

Two questions:

1) I understand this is a "Rumble only" deal, so are we purely booking for the one night and nothing more? Or is there a little wiggle room for any vignettes that even hint at who they could be prior to the event?

2) Considering this is for the event and presumably nothing afterward, are any workers from the indy circuit being allowed to keep their "gimmicks" for the one time appearance?

[Hondo]

Two questions:

1) I understand this is a "Rumble only" deal, so are we purely booking for the one night and nothing more? Or is there a little wiggle room for any vignettes that even hint at who they could be prior to the event?

Yes, this is a one-night only appearance. Vince is looking for shock factor, something to keep the fans talking. So no hints or vignettes allowed.

2) Considering this is for the event and presumably nothing afterward, are any workers from the indy circuit being allowed to keep their "gimmicks" for the one time appearance?

Yes, they can keep their gimmicks for the match.

[Hondo]

No. Just, no. Don't even THINK about it!

Any use or mention of CM Punk He Who Shall Not Be Named will cost you a vote come voting time!

[BamBamBunglow]

No. Just, no. Don't even THINK about it!

Any use or mention of CM Punk He Who Shall Not Be Named will cost you a vote come voting time!

I was waiting for that one

[Hondo]

Up next, we have a scenario with a former TNA Champion, a former WCW Champion and two former WWF Champions. Add a TGI Fridays Buffalo Wing Eating champion in there and we've covered all the bases!

We start with Seth Rollins as the first entrant in the Rumble. He's standing there, wondering who he'll face, when AJ Styles comes out as #2. We get a tease of what could be between the two of them in the 2 minutes before #3 comes out, and it could lead to a hell of a match down the line.

Somewhere in the middle of the match, let's say #14, we bring out our next surprise entrant... Bill Goldberg. He does his old school thing and eliminates a bunch of dudes and looks like a monster again. That's when....

#15 is Stone Cold Steve Austin. The crowd goes nuts, not only for Stone Cold, but because we finally get the showdown between him and Goldberg. They square off in the middle of the ring, and we get another taste of a potential match we could do down the line.

We'll have Rollins and AJ last a long time in this match, and we'll give the fans another dream scenario with out #23 entrant in the Rumble... Shawn Michaels. The crowd should love a Rollins/AJ/HBK showdown, and we give them another tease of what could be.

Let's make this happen....

And this one plays up to the nostalgic ECW crowd as well as throwing in a huge Japanese name as well as a real "jackhammer" of a guy.

Alright Dream, I'm not going to book this whole thing for you guys, cause I just don't have the will to spend twenty minutes trying to convince Vince that I'm right and he's wrong.  It's not that I don't enjoy arguing with the old man, it's just I don't have the energy this soon after Christmas.

So I'm not going to tell you when to put these guys in, who they should eliminate or whatever.  I'll give you the names and you guys work out where you put them.

The Rumble is in Philly, which means two things – cheese steak sandwiches for lunch and annoying ECW fans trying to highjack the show.  So let's give 'em two guys that'll keep those smarky idiots happy:
RVD and Sandman.  I don't think RVD is still under contract.  I haven't seen his usual cloud of smoke around backstage for a while.  Anyway, if he is under contract, screw it and just replace his name with Sabu.  The ECW smarks will freak out when either of them turn up.  The only downside with bringing in Sandman is we'll need to buy some extra beer and Vince is going to have to stump up the cash for the rights to Enter Sandman.  That's the only thing I'm going to fight him on.  If he wants the smark pop and great visual of fat guys in their mid 40s marking out like no one is watching, then he HAS to get the music.

Alright, that's the ECW smarks dealt with.  How about those fans who have been freaking out about New Japan?  We've got the deal with them, so let's bring in their best guy and job him out!  My next pick for the Rumble is Hiroshi Tanahashi.  Look, I know Vince has no idea who he is, but trust me, he's a pretty big wheel down at the cracker factory these days.  This guy will have those Twitter geeks freaking out and it's a nice shot to Dixie and those TNA losers, cause they had this guy on their roster for YEARS and did nothing with him.  This is a win/win for Vince.  He gets one of the best wrestlers in the world to work his show, everyone will lose their minds and the guy loses to a WWE guy in the end.  That's just delicious.

Last but not least, let's get a big name in that isn't called Austin or Rock.  Everyone expects them to make some kind of appearance.  Let's change it up (and annoy Hunter in the process), let's bring in Goldberg.  Look, his DVD was one of the biggest sellers we had last year and he hasn't worked for us since 2004!  Now, technically he's not worked for more than 10 years, but he did do a match in Japan in 2005...I think...but what's a month or two when you're talking about one of the biggest stars in the history of the industry?  We bring in Goldberg, the people will freak, the boys will freak (cause of how much he'll be getting paid) and Hunter will freak – which always makes Vince laugh.  Then we can have Hunter make an appearance and throw him out and everyone goes home happy.

Like I said, I don't care what you do with these guys but if you want crowd pleasing surprises, these are the four guys to bring in at the Rumble.

My picks:
RVD, Sandman, Hiroshi Tanahashi and Goldberg.

[Tritch]

Hey, sorry for my absence boss, but I'm back now.

Question, probably obvious, but you can't fault me for trying. We counting Puerto Rico as the States?

[Hondo]

Hey, sorry for my absence boss, but I'm back now.

Question, probably obvious, but you can't fault me for trying. We counting Puerto Rico as the States?

As it is a US territory, yes.

[Hondo]

This one has a tag team that some would consider one of the world's best, someone to pump up the crowd (if they can hear him)m and someone to give them an edge in the competition!

Everyone is going to be looking to the big names like AJ Styles and Goldberg and Bubba Ray, but we want to look in some of the same places but get picks that would be even more surprising because it's unexpected. If everyone is expecting WWE to go out and try to bring in AJ as a surprise, it will lessen the surprise factor. We want to completely shock them. So first up we want to do a sort of package deal.

#10 - We want to make sure that somewhere in the top 9 one of our top tag teams has both members represented and seem to be cleaning up. Then at #10, boom the ol' Gold Standard pops up. SHELTON BENJAMIN. The crowd remembers him, he was exciting, he's not a huge name but they'll still be like "Holy shit it's that one guy, wasn't he in a tag team?" Which is when we hit them with...

#11 - his tag team partner! We want Shelton to come out first because he had a more successful singles career after we broke up the World's Greatest Tag Team, so one spot later out comes CHARLIE HAAS! Because Shelton is fresh in their mind, they'll go crazy, especially if the tag team we had in before them was a heel team. Boom, now the rumble becomes all about these four guys tag team wrestling in the middle of an everyone-for-themselves atmosphere.

#19 - Alright, now everybody knows this guy is a piece of shit, but he's still a recognizable face with some easily recognizable moves and taunts, and he's long time crowd favorite - by which I mean everybody knows him, and loves to shit on him. I think it could be fun to have him in there... SCOTT STEINER! We'll bring him out, let him do his thing, yell at people, make an ass of himself, and get him out of there fairly quick. This'll definitely suit the spot reserved for silly "why the fuck did they bring him in here" picks, like the Godfather last year.

#29 - Lastly, we want to really blow their socks off. But we're not going to bring the Rock, or Austin, or Michaels or any of those guys who are talked about so much they're watered down. We want to bring in someone just as big, but that nobody would even think of bringing out. It would make it that much sweeter if we had Christian still in the ring... because here comes EDGE! I know, he retired for a reason, but we throw plenty of retired guys in here as long as we take care of them. He'll throw a few strikes, do some stuff with Christian if we have him in there, hit a spear on a big time heel if he's feeling up for it, then eliminate him as easily and gently as possible.

[Hondo]

These puns are kinda getting harder to come by. This plan has guys whose names rhyme with Braven, Revie Sitchards, OPP and Hake the Jake Clawberts.

Here is what we know... the Royal Rumble is in Philadelphia. The city of brotherly love. The home of true fans who will cheer for you when you deserve to be cheered and will boo you when you probably deserve to be boo'd. To me the special entrants into the Rumble is most important to the fans in attendance. The fans that paid top dollar to maybe see some of their past time favorites just one more time. It's no question the city still has tremendous pride for their ECW run in the 90s. So we'd be incredibly stupid to not include some old school ECWers. And why not shock them with the first entrance being...

RAVEN! That's right, and to add his WWE flair to it, he comes down to the ring with his trademark grocery cart full of misc. weapons. Raven can't go too long in the ring though, as he is 50 years old. So let's give him some nice spots before we send him gently over the top rope. Maybe an evenflow DDT to a #2 heel entrant perhaps?

Somewhere in the middle of the draft, I'd say 10-15 range, I think it's time to see Philadelphia born and bred... STEVIE RICHARDS! I think Stevie can go a bit longer here than Raven and you know we have to see the Stevie Kick eliminate someone.

For our third entrant, I felt like we needed to go after someone semi-local, who had one hell of a 2014. I think we might have missed out on an opportunity to have him enter in the rumble in 2014, but we can make it up for that now. Why not have back to back entrants, maybe in the lower 20s... be New Jersey born "DIAMOND" DALLAS PAGE and before he enters the ring he waits as the next entrant is a WWE legend and hall of famer... JAKE "THE SNAKE" ROBERTS! The shock of seeing them in the Rumble is the moment in itself... maybe after a quick Diamond Cutter and JTS DDT, we have someone we might be trying to turn heel, or an established heel, eliminate them both at the same time. Letting them soak in the moment with the fans on their way back up the entrance way.

I think that would have the Philly fans on their feet.