S1, EP 5 - WHAT'S BEHIND CURTAIN NUMBER 3?

[Hondo]

This one should make the indy/smark crowd happy. Happier than Bubber Rodgers with a BITHICLE!

The element of surprise is one that is worth anything and everything we can get from those whiny Internet wrestling fans. Let's throw these fans a bone or two, and take advantage of the lost element of surprise with one NO ONE will see coming.

First: Early on in the Rumble, let's establish that we can get just about ANYONE to show up for a one night appearance. Let's give them...COLT CABANA! They're gonna go nuts over the "Boom Boom" song, and honestly, that's about as close as we'll touch on that one guy we won't talk about. Let Colt go crazy for a bit, maybe get an elimination or two over jobbers before being eliminated by Bad News Barrett. "I'm afraid I've got some BAAHHHHD NEEWWWWS..."

Second: Midway through the Rumble, let's throw a bone to a guy that's starting his tenth (TENTH) year of wrestling, a guy who's a good enough sport that he could do the obligatory Warlord spot. I'm talking about STEVE "THE TURTLE" WEINER who would strike a chord with anyone who knows his situation (and really, we could score a couple points with various charities in the process. Why not get in the good graces of charity?)

Third: Down the stretch, we get the shattering glass, the familiar theme song...and SHARK BOY 24:7 says I just bit your a**! We'll all get a good laugh in the back, some fans will at least appreciate the joke, but man will people be riled up! Let him get ONE elimination, someone we're not pleased with right now.

Fourth: Let's push the button on showing off an NXT talent in a unique way. It might be another year (or so) before he shows up on the main roster, but let's throw the Internet one more bone by putting Sami Zayn in his old indy gimmick EL GENERICO for one night only! Imagine the reaction from the smart crowd when that music comes on..."OLE, OLE OLE OLE..." Have him go out there and get a couple eliminations. It'll be fun, I promise.

[Hondo]

This one gives us an impromptu Wrestlemania rematch!

Alright Dream, we got us some Royal Rumble surprises coming.  Now Dream, you said that they had to be surprises, and that they couldn't be under contract to "another" North American company.  Well, guess what?  We already have some big surprises under contract already!!

Surprise # 1 - It is Philly, so we need to get that cheesesteak, ECW lovin' crowd to pop with our first surprise.  Their hero Sabu will do nicely, wouldn't you say?  You can even eliminate him through a table, and it won't cost Vince any extra!

Surprise #2 - Brock Lesnar.  Hear me out here Dream, I know you're pretty confused.  We all know Bork....*clears throat*.....Brock is going to be leaving for the UFC after 'Maina.  We can't have him going into that show with the belt, the crowd will shit on that worse than the time you fed 'Swoggle that ghost pepper burrito.  Take the belt off of him earlier in the night, and have him enter.  He wrecks shit in beast mode until.....

Surprise #3 - The Undertaker shows up.  Brock shows no fear, but neither does Taker.  Taker gets the upper hand, clearly pissed at Brock stealing his legacy.  Lesnar F5's the Dead Man, but he no sells it the way Brock no sold at Summerslam.  Lesnar, now worried, gets eliminated by Taker.  He tries to retreat up the ramp, but Taker hits his big over the top rope to the outside dive, eliminating himself, but continuing the brawl.  This leads to Taker/Lesnar II at Mania, and Taker can go out with a redeeming win.

Surprise #4 - We get to the last few entrants.  When the buzzer goes off, nobody comes out, but the lights go out.  A spotlight hits the rafters, and it's Sting!  He rappels down to the ring....I know, I know, Owen Hart.  It's been 16 years, I think we can give it a go, provided we hire some pros this time.....he drops down to the ring, cleaning house of anyone associated with The Authority.  Kane, Noble, Mercury, etc.  HHH interferes to eliminate him, but Sting gets the best of a physical altercation between the 2.  Boom, another Mania match set up.

What do you think Dream?  Only 1 of these cats cost some dough, the other 3 we already have, and will be MUCH bigger surprises than RVD, Doink or some indy guy that nobody ever heard of.

[Hondo]

Here's one that makes Roman Reigns look strong. And we all know how important that is.

TIME TO GET RUMBLING...

WE OPEN THE RUMBLE BY BRINGING BACK AN OLD FAVOURITE . CORPORATE KANE IS MINDING HIS OWN BUSINESS AFTER LOSING A FEW OVER THE TOP OF THEM ROPES WHEN THE GOBBLEY GOOKER APPEARS...KANE COMES OUT OF THE RING AND PULLS THE MASK OFF, BUT ITS WWE LEGEND...MICK FOLEY NOT PETE ROSE!!! FOLEY BATTLES KANE BACK UP INTO THE RING, THE CORPORATE ONES LOOKS TO GET SOME SORT OF MOMENTUM ELIMINATION GOING, BUT ITS THE MANDIBLE CLAW TO THE ROPE AND KANE IS OVER THE TOP. MICK CAN BATTLE ON FOR ANOTHER 5 MINUTES BEFORE WE ELIMINATE HIM.

WE DID COMEDY BEFORE NOW ITS TIME TO DO...THE BAD GUY...ONLY FITTING THAT BAD NEWS BARRETT HAS CLEARED HOUSE AT THIS STAGE AND GRABS A MICROPHONE...HE'S GOT SOME BADNEWS WHOEVER IS NEXT IS IN FOR A BAD TIME...SCHREECH THOSE TIRES...ITS SCOTT HALL WITH A MICROPHONE...WELL HE HAS SOME BAD NEWS FOR BARRETT CAUSE ITS THE BAD GUY. RAMON ELIMINATES BARRETT FROM THE RUMBLE AND WOLF PACK SIGNS FOR 10 MINUTES BEFORE BEING OUSTED BY A DOUBLE USO MOVE.

WE ARE DOWN TO THE LAST FOLKS IN THE RUMBLE...ITS BEEN BUILDING ALL NIGHT SINCE PLUCKY RETURNEE DANIEL BRYAN HAS BEEN BATTLING WITH ROMAN REIGNS...TWO OF THE HOTTEST FACES...CURRENTLY NOT MAKING LOVE TO A MEAT EATING BELLA. 29...DONG...DONG...NO ITS NOT THE CHINESE GUY FROM A JOHN HUGHES FILM ITS THE UNDERTAKER!!!!! TAKER IS BACK AND IS READY TO RUMBLE...HE ELIMINATES DANIEL BRYAN AFTER A PLUCKY PERFORMANCE FROM THE BEARDED WONDER...BUT WAIT...ITS REIGNS VS THE UNDERTAKER...OMG...AND WE STILL HAVE 30...AND AND AND...ITS STING!!!!! SHIT GETS REAL AS TAKER AND STING GO AT IT WE CELEBRATE THE ICON VS ICON CLASH...WITH A VARY OF PUNCHES AND ALMOST MOMENTS...NO MAN CAN GET THE ADVANTAGE...BUT WHATS THIS...REIGNS IS ON HIS FEET...SPEAR...SPEAR...TAKER AND STING ARE GONE, ROMAN 'REIGNS' SUPREME AND WILL MEET BROCK AT MANIA AND WE HAVE STING AND UNDERTAKER CANCELLING EACH OTHER OUT BUILDING TO A PROGRAM BETWEEN THEM AT MANIA.

[Hondo]

And the one we forgot....

at number # 8 Adrian Neville - fomer nxt champion , think he ready for the main roster and  bringing him this early we gauge how the crowd reacts and how he works with some of the midcard guys think he would do a great job

at number - 14  Great Muta - Legend in japan and well known here in the states , We got Sting  now and Muta is another great wrestler that never worked for us .  I think his appearance would  be awesome and get a great rise from the Universe. Plus love to see him eliminate someone with the green mist . 


at number - 21 Finn Balor - you notice a nxt theme here , I think we have the next great superstars of the E on NXT and what way to get  more people to excited about the brand. Finn Balor is a great wrestler. love to show again the crowds reaction to him. Also how he works with the main roster 


at number # 26 Sami Zayn - Nxt champion , Another guy think is ready , but this more of checking to see the crowd reaction to him and like to bring him at this spot to get him to work with the upper midcard and main eventer .  What to shed some spotlight on NXT and having the Current Champion making a great show in the later part of the Rumble.

[Hondo]

at number # 8 Adrian Neville - fomer nxt champion , think he ready for the main roster and  bringing him this early we gauge how the crowd reacts and how he works with some of the midcard guys think he would do a great job

at number - 14  Great Muta - Legend in japan and well known here in the states , We got Sting  now and Muta is another great wrestler that never worked for us .  I think his appearance would  be awesome and get a great rise from the Universe. Plus love to see him eliminate someone with the green mist . 


at number - 21 Finn Balor - you notice a nxt theme here , I think we have the next great superstars of the E on NXT and what way to get  more people to excited about the brand. Finn Balor is a great wrestler. love to show again the crowds reaction to him. Also how he works with the main roster 


at number # 26 Sami Zayn - Nxt champion , Another guy think is ready , but this more of checking to see the crowd reaction to him and like to bring him at this spot to get him to work with the upper midcard and main eventer .  What to shed some spotlight on NXT and having the Current Champion making a great show in the later part of the Rumble.

Ok, so we'll start things off with a bunch of the lower card guys – the Matadors, Slater, Truth, Xavier Woods, Bo Dallas – nobody really interesting. Then at number 7 we'll send Rusev out and have him deathmurder them and eliminate 'em all in short time. Swagger comes out at number 8, but since we're still burying him with that drunk asshole worked shoot Rusev will pretty much eliminate him right off the bat. We'll have Lana cut a promo about how Rusev has destroyed all your heroes for the glory of Russia and will destroy every would be hero that comes after these failures. Including whoever comes out next...

STAND BACK! THERE'S A HURRICANE COMIN' THRU!

The Hurricane, the first of our mystery guests comes out. Hopefully the crowd don't shit on him. We'll have him get a couple of spots in and actually daze Russev before trying the Hurri-chokeslam. Which fails. Abysmally. Rusev then destroys him and eliminates him just as entrant no 10 comes out – namely Daniel Bryan. This will be where the rumble kicks up a gear and we'll bring out a couple more names, one of the Usos, Ziggler, Ambrose, have them mostly gang up on Rusev but not collaborate enough to get him out of the ring, then at number 14 our second mystery guest...

Jake 'The Snake' Roberts! This is gonna be our nostalgia pop bit, have him hit a few punches and clotheslines and a DDT to pop the crowd before Rusev blindsides him and eliminates him.

We'll continue to bring out the big guns, Orton, Wyatt, Show, Rowan, Harper, Henry, Kofi for his usual almost-eliminated crazy spot, then at 23...

HERE COMES THE MONEY...

Shane McMahon makes his first appearance since 2009 and brings a shopping cart of weapons with him! We'll have Shane-O run wild for a bit with trashcan lid shots, maybe even have him eliminate Kofi before eating an RKO and getting eliminated by Orton just as Talos comes out. We'll add the rest of the Reigns (who we'll have start big by eliminating Rusev), Big E, The other Uso, Ryback, Miz, until we get to the final entrant who wants to know...

... IF YA SMELLLLLL... what The Rock... is cookin'!

Entry no 30 will indeed be one Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson who will kick some ass. We'll have him eliminate a few guys, land a few Rock Bottoms and lasts to the final 3 along with Reigns and Daniel Bryan. Rock hits the Rock Bottom on Bryan and goes for a people's elbow, only to get hit with the Superman Punch and a Spear by Reigns. He goes to eliminate him but Rock manages to hold on and gets him ahlf way over the ropes himself, allowing Bryan to eliminate both and win the Rumble.

We then build to a mania card with Reigns vs Rock (They're cousins right? So I'm sure Rock would agree to a one-off to put him over) and Bryan vs Lesnar (and if we can talk Brock into a contract extension we'll have Bryan LOSE so that a fully built-up Reigns, high off of beating Rock can take it off of him at Summerslam, ending Brock's 1 year reign and setting Roman up as The Man).