The Shark Tank (Chicago)

[Chris Shields]

Oh look, it's Chris Shields. I wonder how long until you have screaming tantrum and run home when things don't go our way....

Also I don't have a fist name.

It was first, stupid ass typos. Also, when thing don't go our way? There is no our, I already told you that my bat doesn't swing that way Franchy. Now quit sending me pictures, and wasting both my time and Mister Hawthorne's. He's a smart man, there's no way he'd ever dream of picking you over me. Just look at your two choices for location, and look at mine, Dallas, Texas. I would put us in one of the largest media markets in the country, a place that is known to have a great community of wrestling fans, and more importantly a city that is hungry for some good smash mouth style fighters. With you The Shark Tank would flounder, while I would make it shark week, ALL DAMN YEAR!

[GM Franchise]

Shields, is it that time of the month again? Because you sure are PMSing right now over one simple comment. The only person wasting time here is you wasting mine. Philadelphia is one of the largest markets too, ranked sixth, THREE SPOTS higher than Dallas. So what was that again about floundering? At least I know my facts instead of coming on here and ranting like someone in an ISIS propaganda video like you are doing.

[Chris Shields]

Shields, is it that time of the month again? Because you sure are PMSing right now over one simple comment. The only person wasting time here is you wasting mine. Philadelphia is one of the largest markets too, ranked sixth, THREE SPOTS higher than Dallas. So what was that again about floundering? At least I know my facts instead of coming on here and ranting like someone in an ISIS propaganda video like you are doing.

Nope Franchy, just giving Mister Hawthorn all the pertinent information he needs. Also, Dallas is the FIFTH biggest media market by most counts. Not to mention there's flat out more people in Dallas, more money in Dallas, and oh yeah, I know the area. I will be able to promote better than you could in either market, because I've already got the connections. Hell, you don't even know which city you want to go to. The fact you tossed out 2 options, means you don't have faith in being able to get your top choice and had to have a back up in case you fail. I don't plan for failure Franchy, I focus solely on success.

[GM Franchise]

The only thing you're succeeding at is showing Mr. Hawthorn which one of us is actually paying attention. Let me put up the link that was shared with ALL potential General Managers.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_United_States_cities_by_population

According to the 2013 ranking, the most recent mind you, Philadelphia is a bigger media market than Dallas. The only thing you're failing at is burning me. The fact is you're making yourself look less and less informed of the current markets to the General Manager as well as your focus on "not failing" when you've already failed at doing the proper background research on the markets before trying to start some sort of a dick measuring contest with me. You may know Dallas but then again so do the local Dallas Uber drivers.

[Chris Shields]

The only thing you're succeeding at is showing Mr. Hawthorn which one of us is actually paying attention. Let me put up the link that was shared with ALL potential General Managers.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_United_States_cities_by_population

According to the 2013 ranking, the most recent mind you, Philadelphia is a bigger media market than Dallas. The only thing you're failing at is burning me. The fact is you're making yourself look less and less informed of the current markets to the General Manager as well as your focus on "not failing" when you've already failed at doing the proper background research on the markets before trying to start some sort of a dick measuring contest with me. You may know Dallas but then again so do the local Dallas Uber drivers.

Or maybe, I just now how to look up the actual most recent market rankings, did you ever think of that Franchy? It's 2015, not 2013. They do those things every damn year. Even with Philadelphia being a slightly bigger media market than Dallas, your other choice has fallen out of the top 20, hell it's fallen out of the top 30. Plus, the DFW metroplex has 2 cities in the top 20, so boom. Beyond the city, the simple fact is that I know more about wrestling than you, and what the fans of the area I would be bringing this company to, enjoy. Which is what Mister Hawthorn said he enjoys, if you would have paid attention to that. Me and him are already on the same page without so much as having a conversation. Clearly I'm not just the better man for this job, I'm the only man for this job.

[Mike Powers]

Well I'll be damned!!  We got ourselves a cock fight here in the Shark Tank!!  Haha!!  I think we can all tell where this is going, can't we?  We just like to have fun here in the Tank so.....BOBBY, GET IN HERE!!  AND BRING THE TRAMPOLINE!!


BOBBY SLOWLY WALKS INTO THE ROOM EYES DOWN, DRAGGING A SMALL TRAMPOLINE.  JEREMY PLACES SEVERAL ITEMS ON HIS DESK.  A LENGTH OF ROPE, A FOOTBALL HELMET, A FIRE EXTINGUISHER, AND A BOTTLE OF SELTZER WATER ARE DISPLAYED


Alright guys, using any or all of these items, what's the most fun thing you can think of to do with Bobby here and his trampoline?  ENTERTAIN ME BOYS!!

[Chris Shields]

Well, he should probably put the football helmet on to be safe. Then I think we take the rope, attach it to one of the blades on that ceiling fan, and have him use the trampoline to spring himself up, grab the rope, and then once he's spinning around the room. he uses the bottle of water to hit several targets, the fire extinguisher, Franchy, that chick in the white t-shirt, really whatever you designate as targets Mister Hawthorn.

[GM Franchise]

Okay this is what I have in mind. Shields stands in front of the target over there with the trampoline directly in front of him. Bobby puts on the football helmet, chugs the water, and then jumps off the trampoline hitting Shields in the balls while spitting out the water on impact. The water goes down Shields pants and it appears that he has wet his pants. We then use the rope as a lasso to let them both catch their dignity when the stunt is over.

[Chris Shields]

Mister Hawthorn, do you really want someone so petty to be the president of this club? His idea isn't fun, and he is using your personal midget to directly attack another applicant, because he's clearly nervous that you know who the best person for this job is. I mean, for one, have you seen me apply for any of the other vacant positions? Nope, and you're not going to. Meanwhile Franchy is going around whoring out for anyone who will tell him he's special. I have a vision Mister Hawthorn, and I believe that me and you, we can be a better combination than steak and potatoes. We'll be a better duo than scotch and water. We can rule the wrestling World, and have a dozen midgets doing crazy stunts for our amusement.

[GM Franchise]

I'll let Mister Hawthorn decide who's idea is more fun.

Also let me mention this, Shields. You're mad at me for making you a target after making me one in your stunt? Okay...

[Chris Shields]

You were getting water sprayed at you, while I would be hit in the testicles. You can kick a man in the balls during a fight if it will help you win, but you don't do it for no reason, that's just wrong.

[GM Franchise]

You were getting water sprayed at you, while I would be hit in the testicles. You can kick a man in the balls during a fight if it will help you win, but you don't do it for no reason, that's just wrong.

Hell I'll stand in front of the target and let him do it. That's how much I like the scenario. The added visual of the pants wetting after the helmet shot is hilarious. More fun than basically recreating Neville Logbottom and the cornish pixies from Harry Potter like in your scenario.

[Chris Shields]

Hell I'll stand in front of the target and let him do it. That's how much I like the scenario. The added visual of the pants wetting after the helmet shot is hilarious. More fun than basically recreating Neville Logbottom and the cornish pixies from Harry Potter like in your scenario.

Who and what? Sorry, I didn't see that nerd movie, I was busy having a life. You just keep giving Mister Hawthorn reasons to not choose you. Do yourself a favor and give up this foolish endeavor Franchy. Clearly. I am the more qualified man for the job, in every single way.

[GM Franchise]

Who and what? Sorry, I didn't see that nerd movie, I was busy having a life. You just keep giving Mister Hawthorn reasons to not choose you. Do yourself a favor and give up this foolish endeavor Franchy. Clearly. I am the more qualified man for the job, in every single way.

That's the difference between you and me. I never give up whereas you do give up. That's why I am the better choice. I can stick it out during both the best and worst of times whereas you cannot.

[Chris Shields]

That's the difference between you and me. I never give up whereas you do give up. That's why I am the better choice. I can stick it out during both the best and worst of times whereas you cannot.

I don't give up on a damn thing Franchy. I am the right man for this job, simple as that. You don't even have a vision for the type of roster you would assemble, while mine is clear and exactly what Mister Hawthorn already said he is a big fan of. It's also the type of roster that will be perfect for the Dallas Fort Worth Metroplex.