my 2 year wedding anniversary

[Knuckles]

coming on the 14th which makes it 2 yrs since we got married. i have a question and would like some perspective...

my wife told me my anniversary gift AND xmas gift was that she and the kids are changing their last names (finally). there was some discrepancy on whether it would be allowed since the kids collect social security survivor benefits ( late fathers SS since he died on the job) and will continue until the youngest (5) turns 16. their names ending with SIMMS and mine being WINFIELD if it would even be allowed or would they lose benefits. especially since we live on these due to my wife being disabled so i also get paid to be her live in caregiver.

is it bad that i feel excited and furious at the same time? i mean, this should have been my absolute right as husband and father 2 yrs ago to have their names changed and adopting the kids. im ecstatic its happening but this late and as a gift? makes me feel cheated out of the season since i went all out on all of their gifts and the thought behind it. i really wanted to do something special for my wife so i did a project (out of my comfort zone) involving crafts and the children's age. not to mention a full spa day for her. also a $200 dinner at a fine dining restaurant. (scheduled for monday at 630pm.

i dunno, maybe im just being a bitch about it. i just feel like i shouldnt have had to work an extra 2 yrs to get this far. it almost feels like a step back.

[Drama Queen]

You come across as being rather stressed out. You guys are expecting, and I'm thinking maybe you are subconsciously terrified (as is normal) and kind of stressing about stuff that you are not even sure why. I get this because you are looking for justification for being annoyed.

I apologize if this seems out of line, but it's the vibe I'm getting... I recognize it from my own behavior, I often get cranky about things when something else completely is on my mind.

I personally don't think the kids should change their name as long as their father wasn't a dick, that is my own opinion but it's none of my business, I'm just saying that I would be looking more at the practical side of it and how it effects the benefits... as long as you and the missus can discuss it rationally in a stress-free way and non-aggressive way.

[Knuckles]

You come across as being rather stressed out. You guys are expecting, and I'm thinking maybe you are subconsciously terrified (as is normal) and kind of stressing about stuff that you are not even sure why. I get this because you are looking for justification for being annoyed.

I apologize if this seems out of line, but it's the vibe I'm getting... I recognize it from my own behavior, I often get cranky about things when something else completely is on my mind.

I personally don't think the kids should change their name as long as their father wasn't a dick, that is my own opinion but it's none of my business, I'm just saying that I would be looking more at the practical side of it and how it effects the benefits... as long as you and the missus can discuss it rationally in a stress-free way and non-aggressive way.

lol not at all bro ur good but may be right. it was their choice to change it. i just been wanting to adopt the whole time.

[T-Bonizzle]

Sounds like you are getting what you want, it's pretty thoughtful on their part and you shouldn't over think it.

[Knuckles]

Sounds like you are getting what you want, it's pretty thoughtful on their part and you shouldn't over think it.

ya im thinkin so to. just felt good to write down.

[T-Bonizzle]

We're here for you bud.

Just think about it from your wife's perspective for a moment. This sounds like something you have really wanted for a long time, way more important than material goods or anything like that. Sounds like she feels she's giving you the best gift she could possibly give you, a gift that lasts for the rest of your lives together. Yeah there is a shitty set of circumstances that meant they delayed doing this for you, but that doesn't make you any less of a husband or father because of some silly naming conventions.

And for your kids to also do it takes a ton of courage on their part, because their father's last name is their identity. I have my father's last name eventhough he left when I was a year old and isn't really a big fixture in my life. My mom has since married and I've lived with my step-father for nearly 20 years. I never changed my last name (even though my mom could have basically forced it on me legally) because it is still my last name, as stupid as it is. I would commend your kids for even considering adding a hyphen to their names let along changing it, because changing your identity is a huge deal.

[Knuckles]

We're here for you bud.

Just think about it from your wife's perspective for a moment. This sounds like something you have really wanted for a long time, way more important than material goods or anything like that. Sounds like she feels she's giving you the best gift she could possibly give you, a gift that lasts for the rest of your lives together. Yeah there is a shitty set of circumstances that meant they delayed doing this for you, but that doesn't make you any less of a husband or father because of some silly naming conventions.

And for your kids to also do it takes a ton of courage on their part, because their father's last name is their identity. I have my father's last name eventhough he left when I was a year old and isn't really a big fixture in my life. My mom has since married and I've lived with my step-father for nearly 20 years. I never changed my last name (even though my mom could have basically forced it on me legally) because it is still my last name, as stupid as it is. I would commend your kids for even considering adding a hyphen to their names let along changing it, because changing your identity is a huge deal.

just 3k more expensive LOL damn lawyers and their paper work :p

[T-Bonizzle]

Oh they are spending more money than you are? CRYBABY!

[Knuckles]

Oh they are spending more money than you are? CRYBABY!

no im the guy paying for this... :p 3k on my own gift LOL

[T-Bonizzle]

Oh shit, you should divorce em. It's the only way

[Knuckles]

Oh shit, you should divorce em. It's the only way

lol