in a spot..

[Judge]

Dude, that's incredibly expensive to bring 6 people that far for a party.  If it was local I'd say yeah hire a sitter and be with your friend, but travelling across state lines, flying or driving with that many people will test your patience.

Respectfully decline due to money/kids/whatever, and plan a trip later down the road for your friend to come visit you or you to take a family vacation to visit him that everyone can enjoy.  I know it seems like you might be disappointing your friend but your family doesn't want to be cooped up in a hotel room for a few hours while you go have fun.

If your friend knows your situation, they would understand and not try to pull a selfish "but it's my day" card.  Send them a wedding gift and make plans for the future.

[Talon]

Dude, that's incredibly expensive to bring 6 people that far for a party.  If it was local I'd say yeah hire a sitter and be with your friend, but travelling across state lines, flying or driving with that many people will test your patience.

Respectfully decline due to money/kids/whatever, and plan a trip later down the road for your friend to come visit you or you to take a family vacation to visit him that everyone can enjoy.  I know it seems like you might be disappointing your friend but your family doesn't want to be cooped up in a hotel room for a few hours while you go have fun.

If your friend knows your situation, they would understand and not try to pull a selfish "but it's my day" card.  Send them a wedding gift and make plans for the future.

[Mike Powers]

It is common courtesy to understand that someone may not be able to attend a function (of any kind) when you need to cross state lines (or in your case, multiple).  If you and your wife can afford to spend the dough to hire the babysitter for that extended period of time/fly out there (with all the costs that entails), then do it together.  However, in the more likely scenario that you don't have the cash, or the inclination, to disrupt your life THAT much, then you politely decline and send a gift.

You're overthinking it.

[Black Death]

Dude, that's incredibly expensive to bring 6 people that far for a party.  If it was local I'd say yeah hire a sitter and be with your friend, but travelling across state lines, flying or driving with that many people will test your patience.

Respectfully decline due to money/kids/whatever, and plan a trip later down the road for your friend to come visit you or you to take a family vacation to visit him that everyone can enjoy.  I know it seems like you might be disappointing your friend but your family doesn't want to be cooped up in a hotel room for a few hours while you go have fun.

If your friend knows your situation, they would understand and not try to pull a selfish "but it's my day" card.  Send them a wedding gift and make plans for the future.

Truth

[T-Bonizzle]

Make a vacation out of it, your kids will understand.

[BamBamBunglow]

If your "friend" can't understand that you can't attend due to A) having muliple kids and B) a wife with disabilities, then he's a shit friend.

I had to pull out of ushering at a mates wedding 5 weeks ago, at the last minute due to childcare issues. Was my mate pissed? Yes, 'cos he had 2 days to change everything around. Did he understand? Hell yes he did. Are we still mates? Hell yes we are.

So, quite simpy dude, if he get pissed at you for not being able to make it due to, y'know health and fucking childcare concerns, and that affects your friendship, then he's a pretty fucking shit mate to begin with.