The Fuck List

[Gary]

Yes

[Ian "Wolfie" Trumps]

There's an ignore feature?

It was a joke.

[Kendell Smith]

3. I am removing myself from Team Ant

[Russ]

Antalicious: I just had my first blood test. I feel violated

See guys looking to join Team Ant, she's already dirty and getting tested for things, so frankly if I were you I wouldn't touch it with a condom-coated barge pole.

[Kendell Smith]

Antalicious: I just had my first blood test. I feel violated

See guys looking to join Team Ant, she's already dirty and getting tested for things, so frankly if I were you I wouldn't touch it with a condom-coated barge pole.

At least I'm getting tested unlike you! You can only ignore the itching and dripping for so long before it falls off Puss... I mean Russ.

[Ian "Wolfie" Trumps]

There is a perfectly reasonable MASS-DEBATE to be had between you and Russ (no need for those keeping score to say anything about the pun) I have posed and your response is an unhappy face...

*shakes head*

Is this where it's revealed Alex K is the brains of Team Ant?

You will never win us over with unhappy faces ANT! Tits and arse...well yes...BUT NOT UNHAPPY FACES!

[Kendell Smith]

I have feminine prowess and a loose/care free attitude. If I got the tits and arse involved Russ wouldn't stand a chance... I like a level playing field so therefore stand by my unhappy face!

[Ian "Wolfie" Trumps]

I have feminine prowess and a loose/care free attitude. If I got the tits and arse involved Russ wouldn't stand a chance... I like a level playing field so therefore stand by my unhappy face!

You totally dodged the questions! POLITICAL POONTANG!

*strong lean towards TEAM RUSS*

[Russ]

The following is a party political broadcast on behalf of the Team Russ party...

The scene opens to a meadow; the sky is blue and wild pink unicorns roam around the lush green grass, leaping over rainbows, drinking exotic cocktails and trying on fabulous clothes. This world is perfect, and as the camera pans around you can see there is nothing to bring the world down. To one side is a large pub named "The Trumps' Arms" in which sport may be viewed and ale may be supped for those residents that enjoy it. The camera pans around again to the happy residents eating a picnic.

"It is often said that behind every great man is a great woman... for me this phrase is a lie. For me, behind every great man, there is a great Russ, holding him close and making him feel special. This is why I am heading up Team Russ, a team to conquer the bland hordes of Team Ant with better policies, greater beauty, and mouth skills to make the Playboy Mansion green with envy.

One of our first policies pertains to the virgin black hole of humour known as Alex K. As you can see, the residents of this world are happy and laughing, free of the worry of stumbling along a post even the Christmas Cracker company would turn their noses up to. This is a world free from the threat of groans, moans or awkward sighs... here there are no long silences, facepalms or head-to-desk brutalities. In this world the Chief Window Taste-Tester has been banned for good, never to spread his poison.

But what about his friend, Captain Josh Underpants? It has often been spoken that his name should be Captain Josh Lonelyhearts, in reference to his 'unlucky in love' attitude. Allow me to show you our policy..."

The camera pans around to a small Mexican Hut with "Captain Lonelyheart's Swashbuckling Dating Service" written on a wonky sign (due to Ant designing it). Just inside is a pale young man with facial hair sitting at a desk, patiently waiting for his dates to turn up. The calendar on the wall hasn't been changed, suggesting that Lonleyhearts hasn't left his desk for three months. The inbox is empty.

"As you can see here on Team Russ we fully endorse the use of the Captain Lonelyhearts moniker, however despite our best efforts we are yet to be able to help young Joshua on his quest to meet a lady. We did, however, buy him a fleshlight to pass the time.

Another key issue at the moment is the issue of Black Death, better known by his cute, fluffy nickname 'BD', and whether we should encourage him to be hooked on phonics. Here on Team Russ we do not discriminate against those that cannot type as well as we can (unless the issue is Napoleon Dynamite-Kahrs typing a joke) and thus should Black Death decide to get hooked on phonics then we shall provide the best support we can. In the meantime we have tried to help Mr. Death by allowing him to design our Team Rosettes."

The scene fades into a group of Team Russ representatives, each displaying the Rosettes with the slogans "Taem R uss; were the WilD thing ar'e". The scene fades back to the rolling countryside hills as Kieran King is spotted riding a unicorn while Reaper casually eats a large Fudge Sundae.

"As you can see, stunning progress. Now comes the key issue of what's been called a 'political minefield', Mafia. As a keen member of the sewing, poetry, bakery, glee and flower-pressing clubs on EFK, I have no place for Mafia. Mafia, I have often found, to cause many arguments and problems, something which has been eradicated here in Team Russ. However, a battle against Team Ant in mafia could well be a possibility and something I would look forward to. So that leaves to the final point... the repeat sex offender, 'MDK'. As a prolific member of Team Russ, we have no problem on MDK prowling the streets and taking down Team Ant's members for his own enjoyment, so long as he stays well away from the members of Team Russ (except for when the leader calls upon his services). MDK is a very handsome young man, and his skills should be allowed to flourish.

So this is Team Russ... a place free from Alex K, a place where Lonelyhearts remain lonely, and a place where Black Death's keyboard-punching can be embraced and enjoyed. A place where you won't get an STI from simply looking at the leader, a place where if you become pregnant your Morning After Pill will be paid for, and a place where bitching about the opposition is encouraged.

Vote Team Russ, for a fabulous future."

[Ian "Wolfie" Trumps]

Ohhhhhhh thats a hell of a party broadcast...

[T-Bonizzle]

*clap clap*

All glory.

[Duckman]

I'm sorry but until Russ rearranges himself to have a vajayjay Ant rules.

But if Russ were to get the old inside outter op??  Could be a whole different story.

Peace

Duckman

[Ian "Wolfie" Trumps]

But if Russ were to get the old inside outter op??  Could be a whole different story

SHE-RUSS!

[Russ]

Who says it's not been done already?

[Kendell Smith]

Who says it's not been done already?

If it has than that's one big ass clit you've got yourself but then if it hasn't your half penis is pathetic!