Smackdown Recap 10/24/08

[Triple B]

We were LIVE from Laredo, TX with J.R. & Tazz

Triple H comes out to his other, not nearly as cool, Motorhead theme song. Looks like he's anticipating not being as popular as his opponent, so he went with the music that gets him less of a pop. Makes sense, since he's probably going to get booed out of the building as soon as he puts his hands on The Undertaker. Anyways, Hunter is sick of Vickie, so he makes a lot of bovine inspired remarks at her expense. He's not especially happy about having to step into the ring with The Undertaker, 48 hours (give or take a couple of days) away from his Cyber Sunday title defense, but who would be?

Jeff Hardy shows up to pose, be applauded, and put over his chances of being voted in as Hunter's opponent. Vladmir Kozlov arrives to put down the voters, who in his estimation will not vote for him because they think he'll turn out to be just like Ludvig Borga. He says that if you wanted to vote against Ludvig Borga, you should have voted in the 1994 Cyber Sunday title match. Or something. Hunter picks up the mic to say he didn't understand a thing Vlad said and then kicks Jeff in the stomach in preparation for a Pedigree, which he delivers immediately after.

After a quick Cyber Sunday promo, we see Hunter struttin' his stuff in the back, when the lights go out and he runs into the Undertaker for a staredown.

Maryse & Natalya vs. Michelle McCool & Maria

So Gregory Helms and his quick, pop-up appearances, which I've been ignoring thus far due to their unfunnyness and unimportance, have a name now: The Hurrapop! Tonight's first Hurrapop consists of Helms saying "Divas...giggity...I'm just sayin'." while the Divas make their way to the ring.

Michelle and Maryse start with a series of reversals that gain a few near-falls for McCool. Maryse grabs an arm but Michelle runs up to the top rope and backflips her way out of it. She goes to monkey flip Maryse, but gets distracted by Natttie and nearly beheaded with a clothesline. Natalya tags in for some stomps and forearms, before quickly tagging back out to Maryse, when the match is interrupted by Mariachi music.

Festus, who is in full mariachi regalia, and Jesse, who is full tag-team jobber regalia, make their way down while Michelle hits Maryse with a big boot and a neckbreaker. A full mariachi band has also made their way to the ringside area and commence to serenading, enthralling Maria to the point where she doesn't see Michelle reach out to her for the tag, causing Michelle to be rolled up by Maryse for the 1-2-3. The bell rings, and Festus starts chasing the band to the back while Maria tries to explain why she's such an idiot to Michelle.

WWE Tag Team Champions The Colons © vs. Chavo Guerrero and Bam Neely (non-title)

Chavo grabs a headlock to start, but Carlito takes him down with a dropkick and tags out. Primo comes in for some double team action and allows Chavo to tag in his bodyguard. Primo ducks a pair of clotheslines but gets caught with a shoulderblock. Bam goes for a suplex but Carlito tags himself in and turns it into a double suplex on Bam. Primo tags back in and man, I am just too bored with this match to give it a proper recap. Sorry. Boring. Everything that is happening in the ring right now is boring. Oh, Chavo hit the rolling Lyger kick for 2. That was almost not boring. More boring stuff happens, Carlito does some stuff, Chavo ends up slapping Bam in the face, and the backstabber finished it.

Michelle catches up with Maria and wants to discuss what transpired in their match but Maria is more worried about the whereabouts of Festus. Then Carlito interrupts Primom, who is mackin' on Brie, and THEN the mariachi band stampedes through, with Festus still giving chase and a beleaguered Jesse and Maria doing their best to stop him.

MVP and Shelton Benjamin vs. Ron Killings and Kung Fu Naki

Funaki is indeed billed as he is above and is wearing a gi and a headband.


Montel and Kung start, and MVP gets knocked down on his ass a few times thanks to Funaki's heretofore unknown martial arts abilities. MVP, having been thoroughly dominated by Funaki, tags out to Shelton, who meets a similiar fate. Truth tags in and goes for a Mysterio style bulldog, but Shelton holds catches him and counters to a back suplex. Shelton takes it to the corner and tags in Montel, who beats down Ron and gets 2 off a snap overhead belly-to=belly. MVP sends him to the ropes but Truth gets back in it with his corkscrew forearm deal. Truth tags in Kung, who comes off the top with a judo chop onto Montel for 2. Shelton breaks it up, causing Truth to chase him off, which leaves Montel alone with a mantis posing Naki. MVP turns around into a jump kick, and that's all it takes.


Primo and Carlito are in the back, and Carlito encourages his brother to re-mack on Brie. She gives Primo the cold shoulder (what a bitch!) and Khali & Ranjin show up to tell 'em to watch the kiss cam to learn how it's done.

Khali and Ranjin come out with a big sack of mail for the Kiss Cam. Khali gets on the mic and does his "unintelligible giant" thing. Ranjin translates: Khali's been swamped with mail from young lovelies looking to be next on his kiss list. Ranjin then reads a letter from a German chick who'd had a big crush on John Cena, but has since seen the error of her ways and now wants to make it with Khali. Ranjin reads another, this one from somebody who loves Khali's body, which leads to Khali posing and showing off his ass. Ah, but the letter was signed 'from Bruce', so Khali crumples it up and throws it away. It's ladies only, ya dig?

Speaking of the ladies, it's now time for a lucky one's dreams to come true. Ranjin picks a girl to come into the ring but then decides that Khali would rather lock lips with two women, so he finds a big fatso to join the sexy party. Khali goes to lay one on the first chick, but Rankin, kinky voyeur extraordinaire, stops him and encourages him to go with the plumper. After a Ranjin led chant of "Khali" from the crowd, the Great one shows off his kissing technique.

The Undertaker, clearly inspired by Khali's foray into romance, shows us his dating service video. Dislikes? Big Show, Vickie Guerrero and Triple H. Likes? Sealed fates, fulfilled destinies, and walks into darkness.


THE Brian Kendrick w/Zeke w/ vs Super Crazy

Kendrick is wearing his awesome jacket, and Zeke has traded in his tights for his usual cabana boy look. Super Crazy, if you need to know, is wearing a poncho, possibly knit, adorned with the Mexican flag.

Crazy unloads with rights and lefts and sends Brian to the ropes for a big back body drop. Super puts him down with a dropkick and makes with more furious fisting. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker! Crazy continues to pound away, causing the ref to physically back him off and Brian to hit a cheap kick over the ref's head. Kendrick apologizes to the ref and hits the Kendrick for...the win!

WWE Title Match: HHH © vs. Undertaker
Hunter comes out to his regular, pop getting Motorhead theme, so I guess you can throw out my theory from earlier.

Lock up to start, which sees Taker grabbing a headlock and not letting go. Hunter takes it to the ropes but runs right into a shoulderblock. Hunter gets his turn with the headlock now, but once again meets the canvas thanks to a shoulderblock. Trips gets in it with some kicks and punches, but soon gets tossed into the corner for a good ol' fashioned pummeling and a Flair flop inducing clothesline. 2! Taker wrenches the arm and forces Hunter down into an hammerlock, before dropping the leg on his arm and getting another 2. Taker sends him to the corner but Hunter ducks a big splash and the Dead Man gets hung up on the ropes. Hunter follows it up with a chopblock and slaps on a leglock.
Taker kicks him off and sends him to the ropes, but Hunter ducks a punch and both men go down in a double clothesline. Both get up to trade punches, which sees Hunter get his ass rocked. Snake eyes! Taker sends him to the ropes but Hunter rebounds with a high knee and gets 2. Taker reverses an Irish whip but Hunter hits the knee smash. Taker powers out of a Pedigree attempt and catapults him into the corner. Big boot! Leg drop! 2! Taker goes up for some Old School, but Hunter manages to crotch him and delivers a superplex for 2. Hunter clotheslines him out of the ring, but Taker lands on his feet and drags the game out to send him crashing hard into the steps. Taker sets him up for the apron leg drop and nails it for 2.

Taker goes for the Last Ride, but Hunter slips out of it and hits a neckbreaker for 2. Hunter sends him to the ropes, Taker ducks the punch, and flattens him with a flying lariat for another 2. Taker goes for the chokeslam, but Hunter kicks him in the gut and hits the Spinebuster for 2. Helmsley pounds away, but counters another Chokeslam attempt with a Pedigree attempt. Taker isn't havin' it and goes for the Tombstone (or possibly another Snake eyes. I'm just sayin'. Aww, see what you did to me Hurricane?), but Hunter slips out of it and shoves him into the corner. Hunter mounts him for the 10 punch, and, in a move that may just cost him his "cerebral assassin" nickname, gets Last Ride-ed. Taker is too spent to go for a cover, but the Big Show is making his way down to the ring anyway.

Show starts unloading on the Dead Man, drawing the blatant DQ, as Hunter goes to retrieve a chair. Hunter waffles him with it, but Show shrugs it off and gives him the Chokeslam. Show then turns his attentions, and his chair, to the Undertaker and leaves the ring with both men lying.

We go to commercial, and come back with Taker gone but Hunter still struggling to get to his feat when Vladimir Kozlov marches down. Hunter strikes first, but Vlad hooks the arms and headbutts him down. Hunter gets up but runs right into a shoulderblock, and Vlad puts him down for good with his reverse DDT. What, no Jeff Hardy save? Guess not. That's our show!