BONZO GONZO Journalism by Jonny B: “How A Punk Becomes A Champ”

[Jonny Worldbeater]

“How A Punk Becomes A Champ”
By Jonny B

Good morrow to you ladles, jellyspoons and fellow wrestling purists.

A little while back when these e-knights forums were just getting off the ground, your friend and mine, the incomparable Sam ‘Duckman’ Clarke sent me a couple of e-mails and PMs my way in order to get me onboard to write a few columns in hopes that my wealth of knowledge and insight into our favorite performance sports pastime might spark a little healthy conversation on the boards, and so after racking my brain for a while I think I’ve finally stumbled onto a topic that I can actually write something a little more interesting than gassing on about how TNA has by far the worst creative team in history and how Vince Russo and co. are largely responsible for keeping the company from making any real growth or progress for the past 6 years and however many more there are to come until, like WCW, the money they’ve been flushing down the toilet runs out and leaves a bunch of great talents without a job… They’ll be plenty of time for those later.

So, what I’d like to talk about today is a subject that’s been bugging me for a while now (not in a ‘god, wtf are they doing’ way, but in more of a ‘I don’t get why this is’ kinda way), and that is why some people in wrestling â€" in particular those who seem comparatively mediocre by comparison to others â€" manage to get over huge with fans. Two specific examples I’d like to cite are that of Matt Hardy and CM Punk; one of whom is currently #1 contender for the ECW Title (which, though in no way considered a legitimate world title anymore has undoubtedly been held by some fairly established names, eg. Big Show, RVD, and indeed even Vince, and has been something of a breeding ground title for talent meant for bigger and better things eg. Punk and Morrison and the failed experiment of Bobby Lashley… And then you have the other, the reigning world champ on what for years has been the flagship show of the company.

But what I haven’t really been able to get my head around for a while now is why exactly these guys are so popular when they aren’t really that good. I mean, think about it; is there really anything about guys like Matt Hardy or CM Punk that isn’t done as well or better by someone else? And in terms of their actually wrestling ability, truth be told, neither of these guys are that great. Decent, competent, downright good: sure. Great: I don’t think so. But then, if you actually take your eyes off the ring for a minute and open your ears to hear the crowd reactions for these guys, it’s plain to see that they are very much over. How exactly do they do it?

Well, before I get into my theory on that, let’s take a look at the rest of the rogues gallery/famous faces of the WWE midcard right now.

From where I sit, there have been and are a few different types of midcarders in WWE over the past year or so and today.

On one side, you’ve got the guys who make a great impression when they first show up, but then peter off into nothing. These would be your Carlitos and your Ken Kennedys â€" the guys who have a certain charisma and personality about them, but once you get past that you realise they are green as fuckin’ grass, which has a great deal to do with why they’re lost in the shuffle now.

Then you’ve got a group of guys who have either been around for a while but have reached where they more than likely can’t move up anymore. This is a section that would include guys like Chavo Guerrero, Bob Holly, Gregory Helms, Stevie Richards, Finlay or Kane who are ‘good hands’ more likely to be used to make new stars and bring guys up to the upper card standard. But also in this section, you’re gonna be looking at new guys who have potential, but are a long way off from living up to it yet, here you’re talking about guys like say Shelton Benjamin, Kofi Kingston, Rhodes & DiBiase, and a whole host of other young talents, even the ones that really shine early in their runs like a Santino Marella or an Evan Bourne. It’s a collection of guys who are kind of just in limbo: they could go up, they could go down, or they could just be ‘there’.

Then, you’ve got your pick of the litter. The guys you can see coming a mile a way who you just know are on the cusp of stepping up into that next big upper card spot and really establishing themselves as stars to be showcased in a big way. Here you’re talking about guys like Edge or Randy Orton a few years back and guys like Jeff Hardy and MVP today. There’s just something about them where you know they can be really great, and then all of a sudden they’ve stepped up their game and they are great (in some cases, perhaps even better than you thought they would be).

Now, these subsections of the midcard aren’t a permanent thing really, most guys have their peaks and valleys throughout their careers and they either progress or regress through the stages of the midcard for various reasons: maybe you’ve got people on your side to play politics behind the scenes, maybe you’ve done something to impress the office, maybe you’re just in the right place at the right time and you’re just what they’re looking for. Who knows? But one thing that never changes is the fact that people who get over big get pushed big. If the crowd is rocking and rolling for you â€" if you’re putting asses in seats and pushing merch â€" then obviously you’re doing something right, and if you’re what the people want, then the people in charge would be stupid to object (sadly though, sometimes that is the case, whether it’s a valid decision or not.)

So, bearing all that in mind, let’s come back to the point: if there are all these different kinds of guys at all these different levels that seem to have so much to offer, what is it about these guys like CM Punk and Matt Hardy that makes them so damn popular? You can find better promo guys, you can find better wrestlers, you can find better sellers and you can find better storytellers, so what is it that makes these guys stand out from the pack and makes the people latch onto them?

For months, pretty much since Wrestlemania when I heard the pop Matt Hardy got off a run-in and Punk snatched up the title that seemed a sure thing for Jeff Hardy pre-Steroid scandal, etc. And after all those months, I think I’ve finally got a handle on it.

They sell well. They’re decent in the ring. They can cut a promo. They have PERSONALITY.

That’s it. It’s just that simple; right there in black and white are all the fundamental elements anybody in the world needs to be successful as a wrestler. If you step between the ropes, if doesn’t mean jack shit what you can do, whether you can bench press 500 pounds with one arm or twist around in the air 1 million times before you hit the ground â€" don’t mean a goddamn thing. All you need to do is be able to string a match together with maybe a handful of trademark moves to your name and be able to sell well enough to get the people on your side (or as a heel, on your opponent’s side), and the people will be into your match. If you can talk ‘em into the seats and show that you’re something just a little bit different from the countless numbers of short-haired, blank-faced, tribal-patterned-tight-wearing dweeboids out there, you’re well on your way to being somebody in professional wrestling.

So in closing, I hope you’ve enjoyed this first little attempt at an insightful journalistic piece (of wank no doubt ), and though I can’t say I could put ‘em together on a regular basis, I hope I’ve given the first of many little articles to enjoy.

Please feel free to post feedback and/or your own opinions here.

‘Til next time true believers.

JB.