If your kid acted up really bad and as a punishment, you took away a toy of theirs... would you ever give it back later? Or is it gone for good?
well, i don't have kids (i work with them)
in my case, i took some pokemon cards from kids, after telling them to put them away three times...i did give them back in June though...we have a "june drawer" in the classroom where i work...
I don't have kids but I had a couple of close calls.
I don't have kids, but I have a 12 year old sister and when she was 5, I still remember when she messed around and was making a scene, my mum used to take her doll and she would shut up, the next day she got it back and my mum always used the 'You keep doing this, I will take your doll again for longer this time' and that always worked.
So give it back IMO.
When I was small my dad took my Michael Jackson mask (don't ask...) and threw it in the fire. I cried for hours, I was devastated.
I say give it back after a while. No kid should have to endure the heart wrenching pain of losing their Michael Jackson mask.
No kids here. But honestly, the best punishment would be to take it play with it right in front of them. That'll show 'em! ;D
Just had my first, so he's not quite to the point yet of knowing what a punishment is, let alone knowing much of what anything is. But as far as punishments go, I find that you've got to be pretty harsh if you want the lesson to be learned. For example, sending a kid to their room when they have a tv, video games, toys, and other things isnt a punishment...now is it. That's like saying "I'm mad at you, go play." But in the instance of a toy or the like being taken away, I would have it on some sort of probationary thing, that where if the kid wants it, he/she earns it back but a deed, or a practice named by the parent with the stipulation that if the offending act that was comitted in the first place was repeated, the child wouldn't see the toy again.
If your child is not cowering in the corner when you get home from work, you have FAILED as a parent.
^^LMAO
You mean like this Tim?
http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=beat (http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=beat)
(http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/images/beatkid4.jpg)
Maddox's book is awesome, btw.
When my kid misbehaves, I put her in "The Cage."
As what seems to be the only actual parent with experience besides you Jesse here's my advice. Take it away from them definitely. Don't take it away forever. That's cruel especially if it's one of their favorite toys. Also for the fact you paid for it lol. A lot of the toys my daughter plays with I paid out of my hard earned money, so it kinda hurts me to just get rid of them as well. Especially considering the cost of some toys. But trust me, there are some I'd love to get rid of just to keep from hearing the god damn things again, but in the end your punishing yourself as your making your child sad. And that hurts you in the end. So take it away, if the point is made give it back. If they keep doing it, increase the amount of time. Like the first time take it for an hour. The second time two hours. If it gets to like 6 hours, set it to a day. Never make it more then a day or two though per toy.
Oh and like Chad said. Sending them to their room is far from a punishment. That's where the majority of the toys are. And as they get older a tv, maybe a video game system, dvd player, etc. So never send them to their room. Or put them in a cage like B would lol. Send them somewhere they have nothing to do. Like if your going in your room to clean up or something make them come in with no toys.
I have kids, and they live with their mom. Anyways I get them every summer for a few weeks. starting in aug. ;D anyhow with my son, I took away a toy of his for something he did It devistated me. I ended up giving it back to him like 5 minutes later. My son is like my hero, usually its the other way around but that kid in my eyes is my greatest accomplishment.
I really apreciate the advice everyone, though I'll stay away from the cage idea.
Basically, my son was playing with his legos and was having a blast but it was now bedtime. My wife told him to put them away and he starts screaming at the top of his lungs and stomping around. My wife grabbed the legos from him and started taking them apart, putting them back in the box. He responded by slapping her in the face.
I guess this is why you shouldn't punish while angry, but I took his bucket of legos and made him watch as I dumped them into the garbage then put him to bed. After he calmed down, we talked about it like we always do and explained how things could have been different if he simply did what his mom said to do without throwing a fit.
I also cleaned off the legos and put them in the closet.
Legos are expensive and they are a great toy. And after listening to you all, I think I'll give them back soon now that things have settled and he's learned his lesson.
With my son - I do the same thing actually Jesse.
I've never once never given something back. However I do take it one step further.
When my kiddo has done something and I take away his toy, he'll get it back once we've talked about what he's done and the sort, but not until the next day does he receive his toy back. Then we talk about it once more, to make sure he's learned his lesson.
Quote from: Tim-Æ on July 24, 2008, 11:35:48 AM
If your child is not cowering in the corner when you get home from work, you have FAILED as a parent.
Tim is a true Maddox fan
I think the toy should be given back sooner or later. I mean, kids will always get a new toy to replace what you take away right? Keeping it gone only shows them they'll get something newer and better one day.
Yeah, I agree 100%.
I have 3 of them....most of the time my wife does takes care of this shit..But if shes not here I'll either
A: Take away all toys for sometime
B: Spank Them
C: All of the above
It always works