I almost died

[Zombie Gunn]

As some of you know, I went camping on sunday. Drove out to the park, picked out a spot 9 miles away and hiked out there. It took just over 5 hours to get there. In the end, I was tired... cold... and wet, because it's raining. Still, it was what I had come for. I ate some ramen (Ramen never tasted so good, even without a spoon/fork and eating it with just my hands) I then unpacked my sleeping bag and went to sleep. I woke up half an hour later, soaked to the bone. Apparently, my tent leaks. And not just a leak off in the corner... THE WHOLE THING. Every square inch was soaked. My sleeping bag was soaked. My clothes off in the corner of the tent was soaked. So, here I am 9 miles out into the wilderness without a means to get dry or a means of sleeping. It's 10:30 and what to do?

I decided the best thing I could do was turn back and get out of there. I was going to freeze to death if I stayed there. So, I hiked back starting at 11:00pm. For the first half there was a gradual incline up to the top of Jackass Peak. It was about 1000 feet up, but a slow incline. I reached the top and slowly made my way back down. On the other side was the halfway point. I stopped there at a pit toilet to get out of the rain. I sat there on the toilet, eating a monster wang and some granola bars... then I fell asleep. I woke up 20 minutes later colder than I've ever been in my life. Since I was no longer moving, all my bodyheat had stopped. It was just me in my soaked clothes.

I could barely move. I couldn't even bend over to tie my shoe and it took every ounce of energy just to stand up. I repacked up everything, put the sopping wet blanket on my shoulders (to pad the old WWII style leather/steel backpack) and managed to get my pack back on. The worst was yet to come. I crossed a creek that was a foot deep in water. By this point, my feet were already wet and the creek actually felt warm. On the other side was the hard part. 2000 foot climb, NOT gradual. The steepest hill you could ever imagine climbing, and in the mud. I had to stop every 20 seconds to catch my breath and each time felt like I couldn't take another step forward. I was literally at my end. Still, I managed to take that one step which turned to two, and got me to walk another 20-30 feet. I reached the top and had only 3 miles left to go, which was a steady climb upwards as well but not as steep. Maybe 500 foot altitude higer but over the span of these 3 miles. During the last two miles, my knee joint felt like I had needles jabbed in every time I lifted my foot. But I did it. I made it back to my car and turned on the heater. It took me 5 minutes just to get in. (It's an Explorer, so I had to lift my feet up to get in. Ended up using my hands to lift my legs in, then crawling in. It was now 6:00am. I sat there with the heater on to warm up for about half an hour, then began driving back down the hills to civilization. Stopped to get a coffee and a cheeseburger. Then drove the rest of the way home, then slowly climbed the stairs back up to my apartment where I couldn't even take my jacket off. Had to have my wife help me.

So, yeah... I survived. I don't know many people, maybe not anybody, that could have done what I did. But, here I am. I can barely move. I have to walk with a cane (I think I have pulled hamstrings, aside from the expected muscle soreness). But, I'm warm... I slept 6 hours so I'm no longer tired. And next time, I'm going to make sure I get a tent that doesn't FREAKING LEAK!!!

[The Murph]

Is it just me or did I notice no mention of a single other person in that. Seriously Jesse. You don't ever go camping alone. Just think if you had of like broke your leg or something and couldn't even walk. Just don't do that again. Though I am glad your back and besides minor injuries (in comparison to the worse case scenario) that your fine.

[Zombie Gunn]

Actually, I think it would have been worse if I had brought someone else because I don't think they would have been as strongwilled as myself. I can't imagine my usual camping buddies able to do it.

[Zombie Gunn]

On a side note, I copy/pasted my post from experts and we have a weird wordfilter that I forgot about.

Monster wang = sandwich

[Judge]

Yeah, don't EVER go camping alone.  You just don't.

[Ian "Wolfie" Trumps]

On a side note, I copy/pasted my post from experts and we have a weird wordfilter that I forgot about.

Monster wang = sandwich

And there was me thinking you ate Big Foot's cock.

[Zombie Gunn]

It just doesn't sound right to eat a monster wang while sitting on a pit toilet

[The Murph]

Not to mention eating granola at the same time can't feel too good on the monster wang.

[Tim-Æ]

regardless of if think they wouldn't  be as strong willed as you, having another person around is better than being alone. If you're strong willed your entire motivation would be to motivate them to survive.

Don't ever go by yourself. Glad you're okay and safe, but damn dude, take someone with you or at least a cell phone with decent service.

[JohnS.]

True dat! You put The Experts ranking in GRAVE DANGER with that little stunt

Glad your ok dude

[Adam Wrong]

From eatin a monster wang on the toilet i'm not surprised you nearly died! But seriously man check your tent before sleepin!