Jokes - some are offensive.

[Rob]

Yeah you won't get it. Basically he died about a month ago and was the gay member of Boyzone

[Conor]

What was the last thing to go through Princess Diana's head before she died?

The driver's seat.

-----

What does an abused woman do upon leaving the hospital?

Gets in the kitchen and makes the dinner, if she knows what's good for her!

[Sally Screw]

What do you call an e-fedder with no arms and no legs;

a) ... standing in the forest? PETE
b) ... Sitting in a pot? STEW
c)... Swimming in the ocean? BOUY
d) ... at you front door? MAT
e) ... sleeping on your spice rack? HERB
f) ... in the bank vault? RICH

[Hondo]

I told this one in the shout the other day, but I guess it's good enough to post here.



Four women were sitting around a table playing bridge one day. They're having the typical matronly conversations about the kids, their husbands, PTA meetings and whatnot.

One of the wives pipes up and says, "I've been having the weirdest problem. Every time I sneeze, I have an honest-to-goodness orgasm!"

"Oh My goodness!" says one of the other wives, "Are you taking anything for that?


"Yes, lots and lots of pepper."

[Russ]

Some of these jokes are really terrible...

[Rob]

This is for those that follow Football (soccer)

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The England football team were training one day. On the far end of the pitch, Wayne Rooney was running around Emile Heskey. He jogged off and moments later, he started running around Ashley Cole. Again, he jogged off and this time he started running around Glen Johnson.

From the sideline Fabio Capella shouted "Wayne! I told you to run round the cones!"

[Cory]

^

I laughed.

[Hondo]

I dont think Im British enough to visit this thread.

[Zombie Gunn]

Speak american!

[Russ]

*sigh*

Yeah, like so, I was at like Macdonalds and like the english like soccer team or some shit was running around all the black guys on the team and like someone shouted some shit about cones. It was rad man.

[Rob]

Cause cones sounds like coons and thats a naughty word.

[Russ]

I'll tell you what IS a joke... KC's last.fm list

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE?!!! PAHAHAHAHA

[Rob]

AND PROUD BITCHTITS!

[Sally Screw]

Two muffins are baking away in the oven. The left muffin turn to the other and says "Boy it sure is getting hot in here, huh?" The second muffin turns to the first and yells, "AWWWWWW, a talking muffin!!!!!"

[Russ]

Could you imagine the comedy gold if Sally and AlexK got married?