OMEGLE

[Alex Smiley]

I've had a really rough day, but I also have a very sick sense of humor sometimes.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Wanna join my efed?
Stranger: No
You:
Stranger: Go cry you dumb emo
You: If I kill myself, the blood's on your hands.
Stranger: Sure,do it
Stranger: Are you dead?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

EDIT:



Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Wanna join my efed?
Stranger: yes
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Joey Crash]

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Well howdy
You: How about I fuck your dog with my pistol?
Stranger: wow nice mouth
You: Thanks, I did grow it myself
Stranger: i bet you did
You: Your mother's mouth is better though
You: ding ding
Stranger: my mom died in a car accident you asshoe
Stranger: *asshole
You: that's why it's so good?
Stranger: she died last week!
You: Still fresh!
You: Like subway
You: They have a sub for everything you know
Stranger: wow your a douchebag
You: Haha, tell me about it
You have disconnected.

- - -

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hello
Stranger: hi
You: Welcome to my chocolate factory
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

- - -

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hey
Stranger: hello
You: How are you?
Stranger: I'm good ty, yourself?
You: I'm great, just tired
You: May I ask how old you are?
Stranger: Awh. 19, you?
You: What an exciting age! I remember when I was 13
You: So many new experiences
Stranger: haha.
You: Have you noticed any changes?
You: All that icky hair
You: It's so much nicer when it's smooth, don't you think?
Stranger: Why do you have stick keys on?
Stranger: do you make this a habit - being random? lol.
You: Do you take showers after gym class?
You: Do you like to look at all the little girls, Graham?
Stranger: haha I assure you I'm not a Graham
You: Are you masturbating Graham?
Stranger: ima student at uni !
Stranger: my tutor is called Graham ...
You: I'm masturbating right now
You: What do you think about when you do it Graham?
Stranger: yawn.
You: Yeah? And what do you do to these little boys?
You: Am I doing it right?
You: Mom?
You: I wont be a bad boy anymore!
You: Mom!
You: Where are you?
You: Mom!!
You have disconnected.

- - -

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: Nice to meet you too
Stranger:
You: I'm Richie, what's your name?
Stranger: erick
Stranger: a/l?
You: Hi Erick. How old are you?
Stranger: 16
Stranger: you?
You: What an exciting age!
You: I remember when I was thirteen
Stranger: lol im turning 17 in three days
You: So many new experiences
You: Have you noticed any changes, Erick?
You: And hair?
Stranger: such as?
You: I think it's much better without all that icky hair
You: So much nicer smooth, don't you think?
Stranger: yeah. thats the way i preffer ur mom
Stranger: i hated it when she didnt shave
You: Jokes on you, I have two dads
You: Fag
You have disconnected.

- - -

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hello
Stranger: hey
You: Can I ask you for some advice?
You: It's about pets
Stranger: ook
You: My sister is out of town
You: So she's getting me to look after her cat
You: And basically, she's taken a massive dump on my iphone
You: as well as scratched it to hell
You: So what I'm asking is
You: What is the most slow and painful way to kill this cat before my sister can come home and tell her the cat ran away?
You: The torture can last up to nearly 2 weeks
Stranger: UHSUHAUHSUHAUSHAHSHUHSUHUS
Stranger: LOL
Stranger: lol
Stranger: ushuahshuahushuahusha
Stranger: OH MY GOD
Stranger: u are really bad
Stranger: dont kill the cat
Stranger: its so bad ):
You: I shouldn't?
You: But that son of a bitch destroyed my phone with her claws!
You: And by taking a massive crap on it!
Stranger: hehe
Stranger: ok, ok
Stranger: I understand u
Stranger: but, think of your sister
Stranger: she's gonna be so sad if u fo it ):
Stranger: you do*
You: Hmmmm. I think I know what you're getting at
You: So I know what i'll do
You: I'll make it quick. I'll just shoot the thing a few times and buy a new identical cat before my sis gets home
You: Thanks for your help!
You have disconnected.

[Alex Smiley]

Epic.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: asl?
Stranger: hey
You: oh, hi
You: ...asl?
Stranger: u first
Stranger:
You: 21/m/ca. and lonely.
You: u?
You: you're taking too long
Stranger: I am John with the Internet Cyber Protection site, were on this website looking for potential predators
You: that's what she said.
Stranger: do you pick ladies up often on this site
You: No.
Stranger: you know little kids use this site right
You: Your face is little.
Stranger: you know its against the law to engage in sexual talk with minors correct
Stranger: we have some of your chatlogs here and i want to go over them with you
You: LOL
You: This is my first time on this site.
You: So...yeah.
Stranger: sir dont play games
Stranger: the owners of omegle have every chat in here
Stranger: they turn them over to us and we chat with some of these "predators"
Stranger: giving them insight before they get into legal trouble
You: LOL
You: privacy is not private.
Stranger: engaging in sexual talk with young girls is
You: Except I don't engage in any of it. If you really "had my chatlogs," you'd know this.
You: But you don't, because this is my first time.
Stranger: i have your chatlogs here
Stranger: do you remember saying this
Stranger: Stranger: Your a little to young but thats okay i like em that way
You: No.
Stranger: Stranger: come to my house ill buy you beer well watch a few movies
You: I don't drink beer.
Stranger: oh wait you didnt say beer u said girlie drinks like iced tea
You: LOL, sad.
Stranger: Sir you dont have to lie to me
You: What site did you say you were with?
Stranger: im just giving you a warning
Stranger: Internet Cyber Protection
You: Okay. I'll make sure to let them know...John, was it?...was harrassing me on a "private chat site," when I was trying to meet new people.
Stranger: Yes, be sure to talk to my supervisor
You: How far up the chain of command does this have to go, John?
Stranger: ill forward our chat logs and the ones you have already had to him
Stranger: and he can speak to you about it
You: Excellent. Maybe we'll all get together over tea and crumpets.
Stranger: I doubt that
You: I'm sure your boss would love tea. I use real Earl Grey black tea, too. It's wonderful.
You: Have you ever had black tea?
Stranger: We drink beer because thats what men drink
You: See? Maybe you're looking at your own chatlogs.
Stranger: no
Stranger: im looking at yours
You: But I don't drink beer, I drink tea.
You: Okay, you got me. I'm really 16/f. Wanna see my webcam?
Stranger: like i said im a cyber protection agent
You: LOL
You: Fooled again!
Stranger: i do not engage in that type of activity
You: that's what she said, pal
You: A complaint has been filed with your supervisor. See you on Monday, John.
Stranger: alrighty
Stranger: have a good day
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Zombie Gunn]

Alex, I think he was trolling you.

[Alex Smiley]

I'm sure he was. But I wasn't gonna let him make me disconnect, lol. There is no "Internet Cyber Protection" website, not by that particular name.

My courage lies in the fact that he provided insufficient "evidence" to any misdoings, lol

[Alex Smiley]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey asl?
You: Excuse me?
Stranger: lets watch porn
You: I'm bigger than porn.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Hi
You: Is this Santa?
Stranger: damn my cover has been blown
You: I want a pony
You: And a girlfriend
You: And a 360
You: let's make it happen cap'n
Stranger: haha that rhymed lol
You: So that's a yes, then?
Stranger: yes
You: Excellent. Thanks, Santa!
Stranger: no problem kid lol
You: Hello?
You: Who is this?
Stranger: santa
You: Santa doesn't exist.
You: Seriously, who is this?
Stranger: its a person
You: My son's been jumping up and down like crazy, talking about how he's going to get a XBox, a pony, and a girlfriend.
You: 10 year old boys shouldn't be worrying about girlfriends, you know.
Stranger: oh im sorry i thought he was kidding
Stranger: i figured he was like 15 or something
Stranger: im sorrrrrrryyyy
You: It's okay, I'll find a way to calm him down.
You: How old are you?
Stranger: tell him that the sack broke and it cant carry all those things this year
You: haha, thanks.
You: I am curious, though. How old are you?
Stranger: not to be rude but what does it matter
You: I'm just wondering, is all.
Stranger: oh im 14
You: Ah.
Stranger: sorry again about the santa thing
You: It's okay. Hold on, my son wants back on the computer. Will you talk to him?
Stranger: umm sure but he thinks im santa what shuld i say to him
You: hold on
You: Santa, you still there?
Stranger: yes
You: Mommy said you needed to go back to the workshop. Can I show you a video before you go?
Stranger: sure why not
You: Okay, thanks! ht tp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yu_moia-oVI (Editor's note: Rick Roll vid, lol)
Stranger: thats nice kid well i have to go now
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Exile]

Holy god this is addicting. Wow. I really have to stop now.

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: 19 m usa. looking for girl to talk to
You: i think i just shit my pants with one
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: OBAMA IS A TERRORIST!!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: my erection is lasting longer than 36 hours, what do i DO?!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: asl
You: Its not that i HATE gay people. Its just that they always look better being dragged behind my pick up truck.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hi!
You: 72/m/yourbackyard
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: I cut myself to Edward Cullen's words
Stranger: hello
You: If Bella only knew how deeply I wanted to be her. I would climb inside of her. I would control her from the inside. I would BE Bella.
You: Then Edward would love me
Stranger: r u female?
You: No. Why?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[jagilki]

Stranger: r u female?
You: No. Why?

Lawl

[Adam Wrong]

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: ima horny guy lookin for a hott horny chick
You: hey i'm neither hot nor horny nor even a chick
You: i am an average looking non horny man
You: sorry bout that
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Sgt. Josh Underpants]

Chris your last one was full of epicness

[Tim-Æ]

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: MOCK
Stranger: YEAH
You: ING
Stranger: YEAH
You: BIRD
Stranger: YEAH
You: YEAH
Stranger: YEAH
You have disconnected.

[jagilki]

Win

[Draeden]

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: 16/m/Canada
You: congratulations, you've lived longer than maddie mccann
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Joey Crash]

I couldn't believe this guy was so gullible.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hey, are u a horny female?
You: Of course I am!
Stranger: Cool got msn?
You: Of course I do!
Stranger: add me
Stranger: bjornisgek@live.nl
You: It would be quicker if you add me though
Stranger: Ok
You: suck_my_huge_black_dick@getalifeyouloser.co.uk/ifuckedyourmum
Stranger: Ok
Stranger: ill add you
Stranger: Added
Stranger: accept me
You: ...
Stranger: Accepted?
You: Yeah
You: Are you appearing online?
Stranger: yea, but ur offline
You have disconnected.

[Tim-Æ]

wait...who's being gullible?