Kid Dynamo vs Robina Hood

[Alex Smiley]

Reminder:

- Word limit for Group Stage matches is 1500.
- 1 RP per wrestler per match.
- Deadline: December 2, 2018, at 11:59PM Pacific.

[Alex Smiley]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDvr08sCPOc

This is ten percent luck
Twenty percent skill
Fifteen percent concentrated power of will
Five percent pleasure
Fifty percent pain
And a hundred percent reason to
remember the name


As Fort Minor's anthem permeates the background, the scene opens to the front door of a palatial home in The Broadmoor, an upper-class suburb in Colorado Springs, Colorado. A hand knocks thrice before the door opens, revealing Kid Dynamo.

That's me opening the door.

The words are not from the Dynamo on the screen, but another Kid Dynamo who walks into the shot from stage left, revealing that the scene of Dynamo opening his home up to an Experts representative bearing his contract to participate in the Super 6 Extreme Tournament is being projected on a screen behind him.

My invitation to the 2018 Extreme Tournament could have been mailed, faxed, digitally scanned, but No! The Experts wanted to not only deliver my contract personally, but film it as well.

How sweet of them.

Dynamo looks back and watches himself sign the contract, complete with a photo-op handshake between him and The Experts representative whose name is irrelevant holding the signed invitation.

Behind me you are witnessing footage of The Experts punching in a cheat code for the Extreme Tournament and unlocking "GOD MODE".

It's a good feeling, isn't it? Traversing a quest effortlessly because you have 99 lives and your enemies can't touch you? That's what my career has been like. 19 years, folks, nearly two decades of GOD MODE.

The projection behind Dynamo changes to a plaque.

That's fourth-best wrestler ON EARTH, when I barely had a year of ring time. That's 21-year-old me having achieved more than most of my peers in the Extreme Tournament.

The plaque mutates into a championship belt.

For thirteen straight weeks starting May 2018, that title revolved around me, and the WCF TV Title NEVER takes a week off. Most people will never accrue eight successful title defenses in their entire career, and I'm knocking that out in the summer of my 39th year of life.

And that's just the bookends of my career, folks! That's JUST me being better than y'all will ever be when I was a rookie, and me STILL being better than y'all when I'm a "grizzled veteran".

DO Y'ALL YET UNDERSTAND WHY I WAS INVITED TO THIS TOURNAMENT?

The backdrop changes completely. The background music changes to cringeworthy emo...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUO-sRLotOI

...and the visual image projected is of Dynamo's first opponent in the Extreme Tournament.

Now, Robina Hood will probably tell you she doesn't know me. Nevermind that she calls herself "Purple-Haired DYNAMO", a direct homage if ever there was one, but she'll nevertheless claim ignorance. This is nothing but an attempted mindgame. Don't believe me? Ask Marissa Kanensson, a legendary pioneer in getting women included in MMA that SOMEHOW Robina knew nothing about despite attempting to push her way into that athletic circle. Frankly, it was entertaining as one-by-one her trainers and partners begged her to backpedal and show respect to the woman largely responsible for women competing in MMA at all, but not only did you double down, Robina, but you pushed your stack of chips to the middle, yelled "ALL IN" and stood there unironically confident as you flipped over your offsuit seven and two.

Note that I said "attempted mindgame", a determined spreading of peacock feathers to try and make me feel small because I'm not worthy of her memory. After all, Robina knows she's a little fish in a big pond now; she knows that, despite her efforts to dabble in every possible amalgamation of combat sports from wrestling to boxing to lingerie football, all she has to show for it is a mile-long menagerie of mockers.

And it's possible she's telling the truth. It's possible she's gonna show exactly how uneducated she is about the wrestling craft to which she commits. After all, for everyone like me who has dedicated the entirety of his existence to a singular craft of professional wrestling, there are a dozen like Robina who find something that "looks like fun" and throw themselves into that new venture as long as it's still entertaining. Sometimes it even works out, such as Robina holding a mid-range championship in Foxy Boxing. Nevermind that the title is a LITERAL BALL OF YARN, but I'm sure Robina clutches to that sliver of relevance and reassures herself that such is the rule, not the exception.

Alas, Robina, for you, the rule is floundering.

The screen behind Dynamo becomes a three-piece collage of Robina Hood lying crumpled on the mat while someone else has their hand raised by a referee. Dynamo turns his body to allow focus to be made on the leftmost image, the victor EWC International Champion, Griffin Hawkins.

How'd that season finale go, Robina? A lot of bluster about how you were the Greatest Showman and Griff was just a has-been speed bump on your road to glory. (Looks back at the image) Funny how that speed bump became a brick wall when you actually had to shut up and drive.

Dynamo takes a couple steps backward, moving focus to the middle picture of Kaelin Laughlin celebrating nonchalantly.

But enough about EWC. After all, this isn't a Monday Night Brawl and I'm not visiting your home promotion. This is neutral ground, this Extreme Tournament, it's all about entering a new environment against new competition that's doing the same.

So how'd the Quag Cup go, Robina? Now, I'll offer a caveat to this image of Kaelin Laughlin having not even broken a sweat after having pounded you into powder: y'all're observing the eventual winner of that tournament. That's a critical detail I'll get to momentarily. For now, soak in the destiny of Robina Hood trying to win a tournament. I'd offer her credit for at least trying, but when you are ethered until you're a punchline before the match, only to come up EMBARRASSINGLY short when the bell rings, maybe "you did your best" isn't very comforting.

Dynamo turns his body to offer focus to the rightmost image starring Lucy Wylde.

If only the Quag Cup was your only excursion into the unknown and discovering new ways to be embarrassed within the context of wrestling. You see, Lucy here was climbing the ladder in UGWC, a highly-rated promotion based in the same city of Chicago where I'll be winning the B Block of the Extreme Tournament, and she issued an open challenge, which Robina not only accepted, but did so with ludicrous levels of loftiness as if she was doing them all a favor.

How'd that turn out, Robina? You never talk about that particular curbstomping so maybe you forgot. It ended with a DEFINITIVE defeat, just like against Kaelin, just like against Griffin. You may be have a title that says "Future Star" around your waist, but against CURRENT STARS, against the kind of talent I POSSESS, your resume reads like roadkill.

Kid Dynamo turns his focus directly towards the camera as it zooms in on him, taking the screen largely out of view.

Robina Hood, to reference another emo classic, you are The Worm, crawling through this industry, getting put in your place in the dirt by anyone who lays eyes on you. And I am The Bird, ready to swoop into the Extreme Tournament and make you my prey. Be terrified as you should be, or be as aloof and arrogant as you usually project. Either way, you will remember my name, Kid Dynamo. EVERYONE WILL, because it will be the name on everyone's lips when they see just how systematically I will end your hopes of making it out of the B Block.

Understand our destiny, Robina. Mine is to add another illustrious accolade to my legendry, another chapter in my story of outlasting EVERYONE who thought I was a flash-in-the-pan, EVERYONE who thought they burned brighter than me until they all burned out though I remain.

Your destiny, Robina? It's simply another round of getting your ass beat.

Dynamo looks back as the view zooms out to a final image: the "Pinned Tweet" on Robina's twitter profile.

...but apparently, that's kinda your thing so I guess we both will leave happy. 



Good Luck.

You'll need it.

I WON'T.

Dynamo smiles confidently as the scene fades to a graphic before fading out entirely.

[Saint]

"Thirty-nine year old and calls himself a 'kid'...yeah, I'm facing against a wannabe cool guy."

Dismissively enters our ears as we find ourselves at a beach in Malibu California. Why are we here, out of all places? Because sitting on a single black trowel, looking out towards the sea, is the milky skinned woman known as Robina Hood.

"Too bad this guy will end up suffering a similar fate to that poor bitch I knocked out earlier today..."

The nasty way those words hisses out from her bitter lips could possibly be a result of the woman, who happens to be wearing a rather saucy red bikini, losing her match against Ace King yesterday. This could also be shown in the rather cross look on her face.

"Do I sound angry, by any chance? Maybe I am...but so what? None of you watching are going to suffer...well unless my opponent is watching, then he will definitely be suffering this Sunday. For while others see consoling or drugs are ways of coping, I find the sound breaking bones and pleads of mercy much more therapeutic. But no, Kid Dynamo shouldn't worry, such an energetic person like himself should be able to bounce around and still be okay...at least if he is anywhere near as springy as he was almost twenty years ago. Yes, I am completely away of the fact that he has an over ten year experience advantage over me.

If anything this is the biggest experience gap I've ever had to fight against. But I ain't afraid of his experience, not at all, for there is a yin for every yang. The yin to his experience is youth and I am a whole fifteen years younger than him. So if anything, while other matches may end up being viewed as one thing or another, this group one match seems to be perfectly described as the battle as the ultimate test to see what is better...youth or experience. Unfortunately experience have won a few times in the past...like King Arthur defeating Mordred in England, Michael Phelps defeating Kosuke Hagino at the twenty-sixteen Olympics or even Dalton Harris defeating Scarlett Lee to win X Factor earlier today.

However such a thing won't be too much of an issue to me, for I've made a career of hearing people tell me I can't beat this person and that person, only to beat all those people and prove everyone wrong. How else can you explain that I'm the only person entering this entire tournament holding a Championship from wrestling, mixed martial arts and boxing? Actually, has anybody ever achieved that before? I actually don't think so...so I'm a first...so why shouldn't I be good enough to win this entire damn tournament? If anything everyone should just go down on one knee, stop wasting everyone's time and simply hand me the goddamn trophy."

Arrogantly leaves the milky skinned woman's lips though her eyes and body oozes of pure rage, as if personally fed up of her current form of luck. Yet this stopped when The Purple Haired Dynamo spots a couple building a sandcastle with their child. If anything the expression on Miss Hood's face actually softens at this as the scene nearby her almost made the Englishwoman forget all about us until she looks back towards us.

"What? You think that Dynamo would have a problem with that? Or do you actually think that someone like Kid Dynamo is capable of stopping me? Do you know who the hell I am? I am the person washes herself in the blood of others, I am the person who broke another woman's skull and locked someone else in a flaming casket...all with a smile on my face. People often talk about monsters and over exaggerate their so-called monstrous acts but none of them, NONE OF THEM, have done anything close to what I have done, be it out of something personal or just to win a simple match. So what any of you think I'll do to the poor idiots in my group now that I have the chance to get a major payday for my little girl?"

A different sense of seriousness is now written on the mentally unstable woman's face as she even leans a little towards us. However, after a couple silent seconds, she shakes her softly and leans back with a more cocky expression from both her face and her now relaxed body language.

"Nah, no need for spoilers, for while most call them mere matches I see every match as my precious Scene and nothing ruins the exhilaration of what is to come than major spoilers. However, since I am starting to get into a better mood, The Greatest Showman will gift you all with a few – not as major – spoilers to satisfy your curiosity. Kid Dynamo will indeed be entering this match full of confidence while stupidly believing that he is too good for this tournament...but after a couple of minutes, maybe even under one, he'll realise – like all wannabe cool guys do – that he is way out of his league and start panicking. And, just like with most shark films, the moment you start panicking is the moment that it is all too late."

Though her final few words do sound somewhat worrying the fact that The Emo Princess sounds so gentle and innocent while saying them feels more troublesome as a sickeningly sweet giggle leaves her lips before an egotistical smile emerges.

"But don't worry too much, Dynamo, for you don't need to worry. For you can go all 'God Mode', right? Oh wait...I almost forgot, this isn't some video game where one can enter cheat codes to get infinite lives or overpowered abilities, this is real life and if you genuinely think that you can achieve this 'mode' at my expense then you clearly don't need a trigger for how delirious you'll be entering our upcoming Scene. Though, if you dare even attempt to think that your obvious stupidity can allow you to hinder the quality of my latest performance...

Then not only are you wrong, but you are going to be in for a mauling so gruesome that the most bloodthirsty shark would turn away while no amount of skill, trick or ring experience you could ever bring will be able to save you from it."

The relaxed positioning of The Purple Haired Dynamo seem to have slipped away during her words as the young Brit shakes her head a little before looking back to us with a more serious expression.

"You know...I swore to myself that I would enter this Scene more composed but you know what? After losing five matches in a row before today, fuck composure. This Scene ain't going to be merely a match of skill and beauty that'll steal the show...this Scene is going to be a brutal mauling. The kind to send a message to not only Adrianna Wilde and Billy Mitchell, but also to EVERYONE in this Extreme Tournament. That message...anyone who dares to stand in The Greatest Showman's way to winning this tournament..."

Her eyes sharpen.

"Will never stand again."

The sudden drop in the Englishwoman tone of voice sent unfamiliar chills down our spine in this sunny weather as, before we could do anything, the forest dweller gets herself up and lifts her trowel up.

"Now, until this Sunday when the bell rings and it is too late for you to do anything else about it, you can worry Kid Dynamo."

Sharply enters our ears as Robina allows us to spend a few seconds looking up towards her hateful eyes before she turns to walk away. The last thing we see before fading to black is the sand that her trowel use to laid down across.