River of Darkness Movie Review

[Black Death]

Ok earlier today in the shout box Ian brought the subject of Kurt Angle in movies because He had just seen the trailer to a movie called “Warrior” that coming out this summer.  Kurt Angle has a part in the film. Now I have seen this trailer and that movie looks pretty interesting.    Maybe because Kurt not staring in the film. This movie that I just watch was brought up because it also had Sid and Kevin Nash in it and Ian said it should be reviewed. I took up the task of doing that and I wish now I did not. It was 90 minutes of my life wasted.  I will never get it back and that makes me sad. Well on with the review

River of Darkness  staring Kurt Angle , S. William Hinzman, Bill Laing , Kevin Nash , Psycho Sid Alan Rowe Kelly and Ray “ Glacier “ Lloyd .  I knew Nash and Sid were in this film, Glacier was a surprise on my part.  Truth is told Glacier get just about the same amount of screen time as Kurt angle and Angle is the star of the film...

I know you guys would like to know about that plot … Brutal murders start to happen  in  a small river side town and Sheriff play by Kurt angle has to try to find out why they are happening and what behind it  and it brings him  face to face with the town dark past. . 30 years ago a lynch mob lead by a man name Harvey Hix (s. William Hinzman) killed a fisherman family by the name of Jacobs. A father and his two sons (played by Kevin Nash, Sid and Bill Laing. Truth be told I could not figure out who was the dad and who were the sons it was never establish) because a girl accused one of the sons of rape. Mob tied them up and sent them down river and over the dam to their deaths.  Now 30 years later there back and killing people on the river seeking revenge. Alan Rowe Kelly plays a College student who brings two of her college friends who are paranormal investigators or something, by the time they show up I stop really caring. I call them what they really were DEAD MEAT and Glacier plays Clark Higgins, he lost the election to the Sheriff and owns the town dinner. 

It a bad film, the acting is bad, the plot is bad. Script and dialog a joke, There is one line from an actor where she says that the bad guys eyes were RED, yet when they show close-ups of Kevin Nash's character his eyes are yellow/orange... make â€"up really bad … this movie had a budget of 3 million dollar … most of it I bet went to Angle and Nash salary.  Angle has always shown to be great promo guy with fire and passion. But his performance was wooden, hell I am being generous when I say that and he was not even the bad part of this film.  Hell Glacier actually came off better than him in this film in my opinion. 

Oh I know you guys want to hear about how Sid and Nash did and truth I do not have opinion on them because they were not really on the screen that much. They play the parts of evil spirits come back from the grave to get revenge on the town … the make â€"up on them is a joke … for this day and age there is really no excuse from that type of god awful shit that they were wearing.  Truth you could have done away with their parts all together and still made the film. Hell it would have made the film better if you never actually seen the ghost killers at all.

It was a god awful film, if you enjoy pain and for some reason going to watch it. I suggest that you have a few buddies over and watch it with them. Because if you are going to be torture for 90 minutes. Least has few friends to go through it with you.

[Ian "Wolfie" Trumps]

lmao great work BD. I kind of want to watch it myself now lol. Where did you find it?

[jagilki]

I thought I heard James Storm was in it too?

[Black Death]

lmao great work BD. I kind of want to watch it myself now lol. Where did you find it?

got it from one of my DL sites ... I think you would not have not trouble if you want to see it ...

I thought I heard James Storm was in it too?

if he is , i did not see him ...

[jagilki]

Sorry, thinking of another movie with a load of wrestlers.

http://www.dreadcentral.com/news/43672/death-above-trailer-and-still-descend

Kurt Angle as the leader of an evil pagan cult! Tom Savini as a hard-nosed sheriff! Psycho Sid Vicious as an asskicker in a muscle car! Throw in Maniac Cop Robert Z'Dar, a few more pro wrestling stars, and more Druids than an Undertaker ring entrance; and you get the recipe for Bruce Koehler's Death From Above.

An ancient Druid demon has returned to claim his prize... to reign over the world through one thousand years of darkness. The last time Druid-Demon Thule (Kurt Angle) walked the earth was during the Dark Ages. Now after one thousand years, he has returned from beyond to assemble his pagan monk worshippers and to wreak havoc on the natural world. Gunnar Halgrim (TNA Wrestling's James Storm), an ordinary blue-collar steelworker, is plagued by disturbing nightmares and discovers through a clairvoyant gypsy that his ancestral bloodline and a family heirloom place him in danger of Thule's evil dark path. As the drama mounts, Thule's twisted and escalating rampage of death and destruction will soon collide with this small town to square off against over-zealous Sheriff Raynick (Tom Savini). But one man stands between him and his ultimate reign: Herzog (Psycho Sid Vicious). The two forces face off in a battle of Good vs. Evil in this low budget thriller. Will Thule reign once again over the world into one thousand years of darkness?

The cast also includes TNA wrestling big man Matt Morgan, TNA women's wrestler ODB (as in Old Dirty Bitch), Maniac Cop himself- Robert Z'Dar, and Harry O'Toole, best known for his dual turn in 12 Monkeys as the homeless man being tracked by devices in his teeth and the voice inside Bruce Willis' head.

North Shore Pictures' Bruce Koehler, the film's director and co-writer (along with Mark Hensel), promises Death From Above will be, and I quote, "a fun badass ride." Koehler was kind enough to send over a couple of production stills and alert me to the posting of the film's trailer. Definitely getting a bit of a Drive Angry-ish vibe from it.

Death From Above is currently in post-production, and Koehler hopes to have the film ready by the fall.

[Hondo]

Its on YouTube (for now...)

[Hondo]

That's some of the worst acting I've ever seen. And I've seen Pauly Shore AND Keanu Reeves.

[Hondo]

Also, LOL

[Black Death]

That's some of the worst acting I've ever seen. And I've seen Pauly Shore AND Keanu Reeves.

lmao ... oh Keanu Reeves comes off looking like Oscar winner compare to the acting in this movie .  Like I said Kurt not even the worst part of this film

[Ian "Wolfie" Trumps]

Which one of the whole movies is availble on youtube I am confused.

Also BD let me know where you got the film from.

[Hondo]

Which one of the whole movies is availble on youtube I am confused.

Also BD let me know where you got the film from.

The one I posted was River of Darkness.

[jagilki]

I haven't downloaded it, but there are a few on the place I download from.  Demonoid.

[Black Death]

I got mine from place called kickasstorrents.

[Galaxy]

"Winner of 10 Academy Awards."

[GM Franchise]

I saw this last week and it's the worst movie I've ever seen in my life. I ripped it a new one in the movie review I did on it, lol.