OUT OF CHARACTER BOARD

[jagilki]

...He does have a point.

Cedric Malone.

Malone was later, I'm talking about the Reign of the Closeness Twins.

[Jon]

Oldest official FBL player belongs to MEEEEEEE!

[Strike]

Malone was later, I'm talking about the Reign of the Closeness Twins.

That one goes without saying.

[Cory]

Pull the trigger on a deal STRIKE

[Jon]

TEAMS THAT NEED PLAYERS

Boise: 1 Player
Roswell: 1 Player
Seattle: 2 Players

AVAILABLE FREE AGENTS

Wee Pee - SF/SG
Perv Henderson - SG/SF
Muddy Mullet - SF/PF
Melvin Nerdstron - SF/SG
Jon Teas - SF/SG

[Cory]

Jon Teas someone

[J-Reb]

Well.... at least I have cap space.

[Domingo]

So work got freaking busy right before closing and I got off late, walked to my truck and had a flat tire, and now I sign on and find our I even missed the crappy centers.

Son of a...

[Talon]

Shoulda dealt me Deane, dude.


But for real, hope the OOC stuff gets better.

[jagilki]

Go back a few seasons and read my first two seasons of Gen News.

BREAKING NEWS...CHEMANKOCOV CONCERNED OVER CRYING

Former Croatian national team Coach Chemankocov was not pleased to hear the first weeks action brought GM Jag to tears according to rumours.

“NO MORE TEARS FROM ANY COACH OR GM! NEVER!.”

It is unfounded if this is true, but the Bears Coach is not one for seeing sensitive emotions.

CREDIT: VICK TRAIN

BREAKING NEWS...CHEMANKOCOV FOUND NAKED IN STREET

Former Croatian national team Coach Chemankocov was found passed out and naked in the street last night outside his rented accommodation with a bottle of vodka in each hand. He through a PR representative claims he drinks were spiked.

“I NOT NAKED DRUNK!”

Montana has already seemingly been turning to Assistant Coach Fred Closeness to mop up in Chemankocov’s problematic start.

CREDIT: VICK TRAIN

BREAKING NEWS...CHEMANKOCOV FOUND AT CRIME SCENE

Former Croatian national team Coach Chemankocov was found passed out near a convience store known as 8-12 covered in cookie residue and money stashed in his pocket. It seems the Croatian Coach is in trouble once more.

“I NOT NAKED PUNK!”

Montana has already seemingly been turning to Assistant Coach Fred Closeness to mop up in Chemankocov’s problematic start...again in these bizarre coincidences...

CREDIT: VICK TRAIN

REAKING NEWS...CHEMANKOCOV CLAIMS SET UP

Former Croatian national team Coach Chemankocov is still claiming he has been set up in recent events of disgrace in Wyoming and says there is a conspiracy against him.

“I NOT REMEMBER!”

Montana so far have distanced themselves from their Coach who is now on trial for disorderly conduct. Coach Closeness is in the meantime looking after the team.

CREDIT: VICK TRAIN

BREAKING NEWS...CHEMANKOCOV CLAIMS SET UP AGAIN AFTER FURTHER INCIDENT

Coach Chemankocov has claimed another set up as he was released over the weekend with charges relating to lude behaviour. 24 hours removed, Chemankocov was found drunk and passed out in the middle of the street with his buttocks high in the air and a Montana Bears flag invested into his buttocks crack. An onlooker on the scene said.

“I seen a lot of drunks before man and this guy wasn’t drunk he was on something!”

Montana have been granted the opportunity to terminate the Coach’s contract by the FBL without there being a problem.

CREDIT: VICK TRAIN

BREAKING NEWS...SHAW SAYS LAST SHOT FOR SURE

Nick Shaw is hoping to get himself on the sidelines after his attempt to keep his career alive in Montana hasn’t gone as planned.

“I am playing on a lot of painkillers now...a lot to try and get me through this season, but that isn’t a long term solution, I made a mistake prolonging my career and would like to apologize to those who told me to hang up last season.”

A downhearted Shaw did promise he will do everything he can to assure the Bears make the postseason this season.

CREDIT: VICK TRAIN

BREAKING NEWS...PLAYOFFS WILL BE EXPERIENCE FOR US

Mirak Molivaz the team Captain has stated the playoffs would be a great experience for his team.

“We have much growth to do, but we will be there. Good experience”

Montana currently lie in 4th place in the Western conference

CREDIT: VICK TRAIN

BREAKING NEWS...WHAT YOU TALKING BOUT MR. DRUMMOND

He is talking about one thing...the post season.

“I know this team will get there and it will be a hell of an experience for us, heck we might even shock a few teams along the way”

Drummond has been one of the stars of this years rookie class taking the burden of a struggling franchise on his shoulders and moving them into a long shot position of a playoff berth...

CREDIT: VICK TRAIN

BREAKING NEWS...POLICE UNDERCOVER BIZZARE EVIDENCE IN CHEMANKOCOV CASE

Viska Chemankocov has long protested his innocence in what has happened and it seems an eye witness might have been able to add some validity to the case. Chemankocov’s lawyer said

“A witness saw two men drop off Mr. Chemankocov outside the 8/12 and proceed to be standing over him doing “something” before getting away, the witness said they moved along about their night, but caught what appeared to be a Hayseeds World Champions sticker on the back of the car.”

Montana took up the FBL’s offer to terminate the contract of Chemankocov and have replaced him with Fred Closeness as Head Coach.

CREDIT: VICK TRAIN

BREAKING NEWS...CHEMANKOCOV RELEASED, POLICE SUSPECT FOUL PLAY

Viska Chemankocov was last night released and the police are on the manhunt for one or two possible suspects in cases pertaining to setting up Viska Chemankocov to appear drunk and disorderly. A police spokesman said

“Normally, we wouldn’t give too much into this, but lets be frank here some weirdos have gone out there in an attempt to embarrass a public figure of merit...and in Montana...we don’t allow people to mess with our own.”

There has been no comment from the Bears head office.

CREDIT: VICK TRAIN

BREAKING NEWS...FRED CLOSENESS LATEST COACHING VICTIM

Fred Closeness has apparently joined the ranks of Chemankcov fame as a victim of someone trying to mess with him. Getting hate mail and eerie threatening messages saying

“I KNOW IT WAS YOU SUMMA BITCH..YOU AND YOUR LAME BROTHER.”

Fred is apparently on edge after the most recent one.

CREDIT: VICK TRAIN

BREAKING NEWS...YES I SOMETIMES JUST THROW THE BALL IN THE AIR SAYS MIRAK

Mirak Molivaz has admitted his vision has got so bad he sometimes just throws the ball into the air and hopes it will go in.

“Surprisingly it does...not only that...I have famous career from this and made Captain of team. Imagine what I could do if I could see!”

Mirak then concluded his statement to the chair next to me.

CREDIT: VICK TRAIN

BREAKING NEWS...COACH IS ARRESTED IN CONNECTION TO CLOSENESS BROTHER STALKING

Viska Chemankocov was last night rearrested in connection to the Closness brother stalking...a police officer said

“We have arrested this crazy Russian on the grounds this is Montana and we don’t like a lot of foreign folk here...he is probably a communist.”

The Montana legal system was voted 3rd best in the country in 1983.

CREDIT: VICK TRAIN

BREAKING NEWS...FRED CLOSENESS ARRESTED

Montana law enforcement last night arrested Fred Closeness coach of the Montana Bears in connection with the “Chemankocov Drugged Nudity” case earlier this year. A disturbing hick police officer had this to say.

“We can reveal that Fred Closeness has been arrested in the connection of the nude stuff and drug stuff with...Chema...Chuma...that Russian coach we once had. So far we are searching to make a second arrest of an accomplice who looks like Mr. Closeness...but so far we haven’t got any leads...little help .”

The Bears now will be without Fred for the season, rumours are Moses Franks might have been in the area at the time. Police say there could be a match even though Moses is a tall black man.

CREDIT: VICK TRAIN

BREAKING NEWS...DRUMMOND SHOCKS BEARS WITH TRADE DEMAND

With an arrested Coach on his books the last thing GM Jag needed was Deshawn Drummond demanding an offseason trade.

“It will no doubt upset the fans here and that is not my intention. I’d like to give the staff the opportunity to find me a home next year without having to resort to this clause to leave Montana. Suffice to say I feel the team has not been managed effectively.”

This year saw an attempt to bring in players such as Yianni and Lincoln to help the burden that DeShawn seems to have, but it hasn’t been enough as the Bears are really struggling this year.

CREDIT: VICK TRAIN

BREAKING NEWS...MOLIVAZ SAYS HE WILL CONSIDER FUTURE

Once known for his dead eye shooting, Mirak Molivaz is fast coming to terms with the idea his vision isn’t strong enough to compete in the FBL

“Time to rethink.”

It might end up being a complete overhaul for a Montana team and GM Jag next year.

CREDIT: VICK TRAIN

[Talon]

I love that Rebel has Joe Reed.  Just sayin.

[J-Reb]

I love that Rebel has Joe Reed.  Just sayin.

Thems was good times.

[Talon]

Thems was good times.

+1

They definitely were.

[Gravedigger]

Not that I want to nitpick the greatness that is the spreadsheet, but how come a guy I signed (Coplex) doesn't have his contract listed? Did I screw it up somehow?

[J-Reb]

Not that I want to nitpick the greatness that is the spreadsheet, but how come a guy I signed (Coplex) doesn't have his contract listed? Did I screw it up somehow?

You need to post it in the Future Deal thread.