FBL EDITORIALS

[Strike]

THE N.S. REPORT 3 - PART 1

In this first half of the third N.S. Report, That Strike Guy is joined by an EXTREMELY special guest in "Inside The FBL" analyst Chase McCrackin, as the two go over plenty of the chaos that's occurred in the FBL offseason, the expansion draft and certain teams as we continue our course through the FBL College Draft and beyond.

[Dorling]

Well hello FBL fans and fellow GMs. GM Dorling here, enjoying my pre-season break in sunny England and watching all you panic yourselves into destroying your teams and annoying your coaches. We've had a lot of talk about drafting, about players, about the Super League – now it's time to talk GMs and since you all have 'bizniz' to take care of, I'm doing it. We all know players have form that can peak and trough, but so do GMs. Let's take a look at what I, the Mouth of the South, think about the form of our GMs right now.

1.   Hondo – Kentucky Hayseeds

If there's a dude and a team you bet on outside of Vegas, then it's the perfect match between Hondo and Kentucky. Sure, they do things differently in Kentucky but Hondo has that 'good ole boy' feel to him and he can work with the players and fans. Since the days of the basketball hillbilly Billy Joe Winchester, Kentucky have been a force. Consistent turnover of teams has been one of my nemesis' strengths, and even with a cry baby coach like GooGoo Frazier getting all scared by Shack and Fletcher and the like, he continues to build. Troy Marshall is probably out of his grasp without sacrificing some depth, and he's a dude that likes a strong 8, so I think Bishop stays put and Hondo and the 'Seeds make another run into the playoffs.

2.   Domingo – Seattle Toppers

Domingo brought the FBL Championship to the Topper for the first time since the days of Mike Flips. The fans of the team are sure to be ecstatic after watching Franchise rip out their still beating hearts. Domingo has a cool head and doesn't get into it with the media, his players or his rivals. BORING. Aside from early dust ups with the likes of Larry Stevens, he's managed to build solid if unspectacular teams and apparently is using his own salary cap that's $10m smaller than everybody else. He may get the chance to use this financial buffer if he can persuade our old friend Nigel Falls to stop being a moody git and get Troy Marshall on to a winning team.

3.   Rebel – Anchorage Glaciers

Despite the somewhat boneheaded notion that you can win the FBL with one player out of 8 capable of scoring, Rebel has somehow managed to hold on to Ty Williams and now has the option of pairing him with Ricky Hallmark. The addition of Hallmark could bring upward of 30 points a game to this team. That would be a truly scary prospect had they not been winning games with less than 70 points in the first place. It will at least make for more interesting matches for the fans. Vernon Nelson could be a good, organised assistant coach, but Rebel needs to make sure he doesn't get sucked into panic signing everyone. He could have a good team if he holds his nerve.

4.   Jen – Hollywood Stars

A bit of a surprise package last year I'll admit. Hollywood has been a bit of a nothing in terms of rivalries for me, but last year they stood steady. Drummond still hasn't committed his future though, and Harry Allan doesn't seem to be fulfilling his potential. Kev Sanders could be a good addition on a small wage – or a really bad one. The Iron Lady managed a year mostly free of drama – if you ignore losing Valentine before the season started – and she seems to have forged a good working relationship with X Mogo. Time will tell, but some of the West have upped their game and the Stars' offseason so far has not been as progressive as it could have been. Maybe it's time to progress from the Iron Age to the Technology Age?

5.   GM Libre – Pittsburgh Blades

GM Libre was lauded as an unexpected success after a rocky initial period at the Blades. Stuck in the shadow of GM Shields (more about him later), Libre seemed to find it hard to match up to expectations that had been, perhaps unfairly, increased. Despite sometimes experiencing communication issues with his players, he created a strong spine to the team in the shape of Creed Jackson, Robbie Wright and Mutu Mukwazza. Jackson has been upgraded to Clint Danberry and McDonald is gone from the bench, but Nick Shaw has been brought in to assist Ollie Stambola. Libre has the pieces in place for another solid season and should thank the lord that he was priced out of Chuck Ginge. Nobody seems to want to wait for the new international talent. Crazy.

6.   Jon – San Diego Seagulls

After a poor spell in Vegas and beginning the destructive process that Shields finished off in Virginia, GM Jon got a crack at an expansion team. Cam Drake was a great pickup and a solid group of players was put around him. Very few will ever forget the abominable decision to sign Cazluc Vraba AND James Cross to a team (and wrestle one of them) but he made a good stab at turning it around last season and made the other expansion teams look average. Oh and he managed a win over my team too. Git.

7.   Strike – Texas Stallions

So you thought Strike would be higher? WRONG. The man has a good record, but he traded half his team away before the playoffs and forced a legend of the game to quit. In my mind I find it hard to separate GMs Justin and Strike as they both do well to put teams together and then BAM, there goes your core. Getting Xavi Madrid to come back is the first step in a long road to redemption for the man that looks and sounds a lot like 'That Strike Guy.'

8.   Steven – Roswell Aliens

Roswell has had the curse of poor GMs in the past (read: Ty and Franchise) but Steven has done ok. Sneaking into the playoff at the last second gave the impression that his team is a lot better than it actually is, and therefore doing the same to Steven's reputation. He's paying Scott Fletcher more than Eddie lights for a glorified retirement tour and he's upped the wages of several of his team. Now it looks like Cal Roberts could be on the way out – with Fletcher leaving at the end of the season this could be the beginning of a tough period for the team. My only hope is that Cowboy Cal Roberts slags off to Texas or something. Get him out of the West.

9.   Justin – Puerto Rico Waves

The man wins an FBL Title. That's great. Then he trades the winning team away to Texas, starting a war with the Spanish speaking followers of his team. He has a good season to recover and ends up with the MVP Troy Marshall and a great looking lineup. And Marcus Wear. Whatever was in his mind when he started his second string was 100% pure crazy, because it cost him the playoffs, it cost him the best players on his team, and it should have cost him his job. His ass must be red hot at the start of season 13 – he could well be getting a pink slip if he starts badly.

10.   Black Death – Wyoming Wolves

Black Death produced his most consistent season for a long time. Another one prone to bouts of crazy (destroying everything around Scott Fletcher in Hollywood a good example), BD managed to hold it together right until the very end, when for some reason he started the pink glasses wearing Brock Landers over reliable and intelligent PG Melvin Smarts – this allowed the Aliens into the playoffs. Still, Zizac Rekov is a competent assistant for head coach Marcelo, who at least doesn't seem to hate his GM anymore.

11.   Cory – Tampa Bay Dragons

Maybe he should be higher, but Cory has blown it in my eyes. Yes he made the playoffs and yes Tampa beat Kentucky, but that says more about Leighton Lee than it does Cory and his GM skills. He's not a people person. From Nestgate to Japgate to Auntgate, he can't form a relationship with his coaching staff. This time it's cost him his three headed serpent. Tampa are going to struggle next season, and I think that Cory has blown his best chance at getting his hands on the FBL championship. What a berk.

12.   Powers – Mississippi Steamers

While some praised him for not taking no sh*t, I think alienating and then terminating your entire bench is just plain dumb. There are better ways to get productivity out of your squad players than calling them into your office to tell them they suck. They weren't even doing that badly. Fair enough, he now has himself some decent players from the Texas implosion, but he doesn't have Krease McCool and he doesn't have Ronnie Stanza thanks to a devilishly charming GM out West. Stanza probably would have been open to re-negotiation if he wasn't terrified of playing without a bench for another season.

13.   Stoner – Virginia Colonials

Much in the same vein as Powers, Stoner was lauded for standing up to Blair Smith. WRONG. What a dumbass move. You can't surround your best player (by a mile) with rookies and then get into it with him. Imagine if I'd used the same tactics with Shack? It's crazy. Stoner has a chance to rebuild my beloved Colonials and with Conrod Class by his side he has a chance. Old man Hayes has put the pieces in place for him – now do we get to see if Stoner can actually lead a team or not?

14.   Rob – Providence Diamonds

When I started out in Virginia I was all about stats. Conrod Class showed me the error of my ways, and while Coach Bogolov is unlikely to be so eloquent, he probably would have done the same if he was consulted before Rob pressed the 'delete' button on his team. Basketball isn't just numbers, it's about chemistry. Bobby Chang is a dependable player with a big upside and a cool head. You don't just trade the MVPs best friend and chief supplier before talking to him. The acquisition of Sean Rivers was met with a big 'meh' from the fans and Marty Brown? Marty Brown? Something has gone bad in Providence. I can't see GM Rob proclaiming his team as the best in the conference this year without looking mighty foolish. He'll probably try though. Just remember – the Mouth of the South was born after I got a championship ring.

15.   Shields – Portsmouth Defenders

I've got one word for this guy – overrated. He got the Blades into the playoffs when half of the division was GMless and was hailed as a miracle maker. It didn't go to his head in GM Rob like portions, but it severely hurt his cred in Virginia when he was expected to do something his talents did not allow. A complete mess of a season, including the now famous reluctance to realise that James Cross is a complete psycho and subsequent offer of a new contract sowed the seeds to his demise and now he has to rebuild his tattered reputation in Portsmouth. Fans will be worried by the mystical pickup of Ching Bu – a budget Fan Mu who in turn was a budget Ronko – and rightly so. Emerson and Dawson will fill shirts, nothing more, and trying to get a 3 year deal out of 32 year old Larry Stevens doesn't encourage positive thoughts. However, the college draft could be a saving grace and there is scope for improvement. Don't expect miracles though.

16.   Franchise – Birmingham Greenhornets

Franchise needs to win just one game not to be the Greenhornets worst ever GM. Early signs have been encouraging. Has Franchise finally realised you don't need to make two trades per day in preseason? Has he actually thought about what players he needs to go after and what kind of ball his team will play? Ron Doors and Phil Bull are in – a gamble on the coaching front, but all of the trading should now be done, finished off with a high pick for Clarence Marx. Can Franchy hold his nerve? History tells us no, and most expect him to be gone by week 5. I have hope for the whipping boy of the FBL. I think week 6.

17.   Bone – Honolulu Volcanoes

Bone's stock has dropped quicker than the Kentucky PR lady's pants and he finds himself at a team that has witnessed the horror of both Franchise and Underpants. Notoriously up and down during his time with Boston, he's never really recaptured the days when Jimmy Street was good and not farting on people. Honolulu will be a struggle, and it's unlikely that the sunshine will do anything to melt the frostiness of Dave Chart and his money hungry ways. A hard road ahead for GM Bone as he fights to regain some respect. But he won't, because he's a terrorist.

18.   Captain Josh – Bismarck Jaguars

Captain Josh was a horror show in his first stint in the FBL. Replaced by Franchise, the ultimate insult, he's back with a new team. Mays and Legacy can work together, that we know. Dave Kradle was a strange first pick in the expansion draft – let's see if he can learn from the mistakes made by both GMs Cory and Rob and NOT start him. You hear that Underpants? DON'T START HIM. A decent pick in Lou Malone is saddled with some interesting expansion pickups like Chui Mai and Felix Johnson. At least he managed to get rid of Marty Brown.

      19. TyTy – Boston Bells

Ty has started his tenure off in Boston as expected. Despite the words of his agent, Ty traded big for Troy Marshall only to be told immediately where to go by the season 11 MVP. Shock. Couple that with his frantic telephone marathon in trying to hire every single coach out there and it looks like it could be more of the same from Ty and a miserable season for the Bells. I predict he'll be gone by the All Star game.

We have some new GMs in Triple B, Flins, Talon and Alex K. I fully expect their naivety to be punished by Nigel Falls and for them to have to learn very, very quickly.

But don't fret boys and girls, not everybody can have a winning record like the Mouth of the South. And for those of you facing 'meltdowns,' check out what I did when my team started requesting trades. I haven't lost a regular season game since I sorted.

You are the GMs, start acting like it. No more pandering and politicking. And stop trading for God's sake.

Now, back to my holiday while the lot of you continue to balls things up for yourselves. Go on Hondo, you can do it.

[Cory]

5 Bold Predictions for Season 13 w/ GM Cory

If other GM's would be inclined to offer their own 5 bold predictions for Season 13 to pass the time while GM Black Death fondles the Wolves owner and "works" on that pick of his, feel free.

Season 13 has been a shit storm to say the least. From Hayes and Jones leaving me a void that I appropriately filled, to every superstar not named Kamil Bennett saying "fuck the FBL" this season, I figured what a more perfect time to give 5 bold predictions to what the league has in store for the upcoming season, being the unbelievable level of uncertainty. Since we were all brought in Season 5, there has never been more drama, more chaos than there has been this off-season.

Since I dont have to pick my next prospect, and "steal" of the draft until the late second round, I have nothing better to do than to give you my 5 Bold Predictions for this upcoming season:

5: Power-shift in division supremacy. The West will be the best, the East will be a feast.

-- Every team that has emploded this off-season has been from the Eastern conference. From GM Justin losing the best all around player in the league in Troy Marshall as well as Damore Richards, to GM Rob mindbogglingly trading his franchise PG Bobby Chang and expecting Scott Cunningham to take it lying down, to hell even myself here in Tampa losing Rookie of the Year Malcolm Hayes and stud Reggie Jones. I do believe I've rebounded the best in finding replacement of the aforementioned, but both GM Rob and GM Justin are two of the best in the game and the off-season isnt over yet. The West however, have only gotten stronger. Aside from garbage teams getting players that wouldn't sign in a million years....expect the West to be the best.

4: The Super League raid isnt over, 3 of top 5 picks.

-- This is directed at the new GMs. DONT piss you franchise rookie off....even once. I think the Canadians, Henderson and Thomas wont think twice about leaving to go back home to the professional Canadian teams in the Super League. GM AlexK & GM Talon....be wary....very wary and chose your words carefully. Marx with Franchise calling the shots may be just be one error away from packing his bags as well.

3: The "Iron Lady" is the cream of the crop.

-- GM Jenn has turned things around last season with her Hollywood Stars. Under Coach Mongo, the Stars were a very strong team, yet lack the subsistence to even make a dent in their playoff hopes. Now, with their returning lineup, ROY Malcolm Hayes and addition of hidden gem Cheese King to their bench, the Stars will be the team to beat next season in ALL of the FBL. We all know how well pre-season predictions go based on a teams strength on paper, they mean shit all, but I think barring a major fuck up, GM Jenn & her Stars will be the team to beat......until the Season 14 off-season where her cap will explode.

2: "Riverbandits" will make the playoffs

-- I've already taken notice of GM Talon here in his very short time in the FBL. He's made a bit of a blunder with signing Thomas to way more money than what he'll produce, but he dominated the expansion draft landing 2 of the top 3 players available. I think that they will be uber-competitve, much like San Diego last season, and I see them squeeking into the playoffs in the 4th and final spot.

1: GM Franchise DIDNT fuck up a pick, Marx will be Rookie of the Year....if he stays.

-- As much as he's been the joke of the FBL, how couldn't my biggest and boldest prediction involve the one and only GM Franchise. For how much hes made a joke of himself of the past few seasons hes bound to have learned a few things and develop somehow as a GM here in the FBL, and he showed it by taking the best value player in the draft Clarence Marx. I see Marx as this years Malcolm Hayes, being an elite talent not taken in the top 3. Thing being that ol' Franchy doesnt piss Marx off and make him bolt to the Super League.

[Jon]

Grading the Offseason: Volume I

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With our first 6 teams locked in for Season 13, I wanted to get an early start on evaluating their offseason and give my prediction for their upcoming season. So without furtheradue, let's jump into it.

BATON ROUGE RIVERBANDITS

Talon is the GM is the new expansion team for Season 13 and he made quite a splash. According to many pundits, he had the best Expansion Draft, and I 100% agree with that. He took a high ceiling player like Swoop McCarthy in the first pick and followed him up with the best passing PG in the league in Jay Chill. He also added a very nice future successor at PG in Todd Yallop. In the FBL College Draft, he selects, IMO, the best player in the draft, in Chris Thomas with the 3rd overall pick. In one of the bolder moves, he stole away Shakers Lee from the Super League, where he will once again be coached by Rattle Lee. All in all good moves by Talon to make a very competitive first year team. The the first mistake happened, when he got a little too greedy by trying to steal away Hans Stimmar from the Super League to be his assistant coach. Instead, it resulted in Talon having the counter offer the Super League's attempt at stealing Chris Thomas. This resulted in Talon having the trade out Hans Fuhr, and down in the draft. He was only able to sign inexperiences The Great Waldo as his assistant and that could pose problems in terms of his young team improving. While not a perfect off season, I think it was a very solid job done by GM Talon.
GRADE: B
PROJECTION: 2nd Place in Eastern's South Division


COLORADO HOOKS

Another expansion team for Season 13, this one ran by newcomer AlexK. Alex certainly didn't start his FBL career on a high note by selecting Baldo with his first pick in the Expansion Draft. He tried to regroup by adding solid players in Sheldon Day, Kevin Moose, and Butch Paul. But he had what many believe was another mistake by selecting Grizla Valinka in the Expansion Draft too. Alex had the first pick in the College Draft and selected top prospect, Donnie Henderson. A player that he can definitely build around for the future of the franchise. In the second round, he selected Ofal Akanna, who is a bit of an unknown at this point, but early sources say he may not be the best fit for the Hooks at SF. Other then drafting, it was a very quiet offseason for the new franchise as GM AlexK didn't make any additional moves.
GRADE: C
PROJECTION: 6th Place in the West's Southern Division


KENTUCKY HAYSEEDS

Following another Eastern Conference crown, GM Hondo got right back to work on trying to earn the Seeds a 4th FBL Championship. Hondo decided to bid farewell to longtime Seed, Jay Chill in an effort to keep his young guards, albeit a tough, but wise decision to make. Hondo came to agreement that sent Joe Redd to Mississippi for Miles Peters, that gives Kentucky yet another scorer.... a move that could potentially disrupt the chemistry of the team a bit. Hondo hit the free agent market and found journeyman Country Sampson to fill the void left by Joe Reed at Center. In the College Draft, Hondo selected Max Crander, who many feel will provide solid depth for the Seeds. All in all, another business like offseason for GM Hondo.
GRADE: A-
PROJECTION: 1st Place in the East's North Division


LAS VEGAS ACES

GM Dorling has been on vacation since the season ended for his Aces in the playoffs in Season 12. Dorling made all the necessary moves to field his team for Season 13 during Season 12 and got to sit back and relax while the mayhem of the FBL offseason was unleashed. Dorling added Ronnie Stanza, Tim McDonald, and Rey Rodrigo for Season 13 and looks to be the class of the West. The only issue arising right now is how Dorling will deal with 6th Man of the Year, Tim McDonald, who had visions of wanting to be a starter. All I know is that GM Dorling may have the team to get him that 2nd FBL ring and to become the first GM to win a FBL Championship in both conferences.
GRADE: A
PROJECTION: 1st Place in the West's South Division


PROVIDENCE DIAMONDS

Boy, oh boy, where do we start from here. After losing in the FBL Finals, GM Rob headed down the wrong wormhole. In a move that didn't make any sense at all, he trades away Bobby Chang to Mississippi for Ernie Bell. While Bell is a great player, he didn't have the same bond as Chang's college teammate and Season 12 MVP, Scott Cunningham had. That one move triggered a series of events. Cunningham bolted to the Super League... and heralded Coach Vlad Bogolov resigned, later signing with Boise. Rob also made a trade for big time Futurama fan, Marty Brown, in another strange decision. Rob did salvage a little bit by signing free agent Sean Rivers, but the feeling in Providence is quite sad over the loss of Chang and Cunningham. In the College Draft, Rob selected Will Robbins, who will be a project player for the Diamonds. On the coaching front, GM Rob panicked a little bit and hired the FBL's alcoholic in talented coach, when sober,  Cappy Fields. As Assistant, Rob went with unknown water boy, Norman Specks. It will be a very tough hill for GM Rob to climb as he has promised the Providence organization a trip to the playoffs and with the format changes, it could help him.
GRADE: D-
PROJECTION: 4th Place in East's North Division.


PUERTO RICO WAVES

In what was a long last half of the season for Justin, came the offseason and the inevitable end of Troy Marshall, Damore Richards, and Shakers Lee's stay in Puerto Rico. Justin, in route to the offseason, also managed to piss off Dre Majors, resulting in Dre wanting out as well. So Justin faced an uphill battle, needing to replace four of his starters. He worked a deal that brought Caleb Toom to the Waves for Damore Richards. Then he sent Troy Marshall to Boston in exchange for Sy Rogers and Reggie Ferndale. And finally he sent Dre Majors and Suzuki Hondo to Virginia for defensive specialist, Kolo Rolo and Chris Perkins. Justin added huge GM Justin fan, Bart Finkle to the team as well as drafting Holland's Rik Kluff in the College Draft. Overall, this team is a shell of what was and a bit average... but that might be exactly what GM Justin needs. His best decision of the offseason was appointing longtime and Waves Hall of Famer, Djem Maluka as Assistant Coach.
GRADE: C
PROJECTION: 5th Place in the East's South Division

[Jon]

Grading the Offseason: Volume II

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With the offseason quickly coming to an end... let's take a look at 6 more teams and their offseason grades and my predictions.

MONTANA BEARS

With the shocking departure of GM Jag... the Bears have turned to new GM... Flins. Flins did a good job keeping the core of the team together, but many feel it might have been time for a change in Montana. Needless to say, Flins will have a competitive team for Season 13. He went out and acquired defensive specialist Lucic Chachenko from Anchorage. He also signed Sven Morgensen, who is a reliable player off the bench. In the draft, he selected Fernando Fernandez from Spain, a guy that could make a run at the 6th Man of the Year award and David Bordan, who many feel will just fill a bench role. Signing Head Coach Horace Hall was great move by Flins to help erase the memory of Farooq and Shaw. Some expected GM Flins to make a bigger splash with his roster, but some feel he did the right thing by keeping his core together... only time will tell.
GRADE: C+
PROJECTION: 4th Place in West's North Division


VIRGINIA COLONIALS

There is a new era in Virginia for Season 13 as GM Stoner along with owner Virgil Hayes have compiled a very solid team. While Hayes made deals to get Bolak Huir, Leon Dreams, and Creed Jackson to Virginia... Stoner also brought ill-tempered, but very talented Dre Majors on board as well as sound back-up point guard, Suzuki Hondo. In the draft, he selected the best SF left to take in Jesse Cole and he should be able to help the team as the starter. He rounded up his offseason by adding Tony Braize, who should be good off the bench, and Craig Gary. On top of all that, Stoner got Conrad Class and Bob Timms to come back to Virginia as a team. Overall, Virginia fans can get excited for the first time since beloved GM Dorling fled to Vegas.
GRADE: B+
PROJECTION: 3rd Place in East's North Division


BIRMINGHAM GREENHORNETS

Hold your breath... GM Franchise is in town. While many were expecting Franchise to trade away the entire team for a bunch misfits, Franchise actually compiled a competitive, can I say?, team. I don't think anyone expect Franchise to move mountains in his first season in Birmingham, but he might have done enough to end his and the franchise's winless streak. Let's start with his draft pick of Clarence Marx in the first round... as long as Franchise can keep the boat steady, many pundit believe Marx will be a star player in the FBL. He made a trade that brought Findi Muwama over from San Diego as well as Felix Johnson from Bismarck. He also traded away contract eater Rex Holly to Boston, but less of a contract eater in Chuck Ginge. He topped his roster off by signing competitive eater and FBL Champion, Chuckles Tree. Franchise was at it again with the overpaid coaching though as he signed untested and unproven Ron Doors to a $9 million contract... let's hope that pays off for him. While this team won't blow you away, there are pieces here that GM Franchise can work with... but first he has to make sure to extend the contracts of Joey "Joy" Mazuka and Sunshine Stream.
GRADE: C
PROJECTION: 6th Place in East's South Division


HONOLULU VOLCANOES

Terrorism in Hawaii? Maybe not! GM Bone has quickly erased the horrible taste in everyone's mouth from GM Franchise's short stay. Quickly getting a quality couch in Dave Chart and wheeling and dealing to land Reggie Jones. Also with the signing of Assistant Coach Father Pablo Mura, he signed two of his orphans to deals... and get this... they are two young promising players out of high school. In the College Draft, Bone selected Jay Riggins and Greg "Gray" Dawn, both of whom will contribute heavily for the Volcanoes. Bone also traded for reliable Nick Standers from Texas as well to round out his roster. Not a lot of people expected Bone to change the look of this franchise in one offseason, but he has certainly done a heck of a job getting this team assembled. I think the encouraging sign is they have a lot of cap room to play around with for contract extensions and to maybe make a run for someone big next season. Honolulu might actually have a winning season this year! Hats off to GM Bone.
GRADE: B+
PROJECTION: 4th Place in West's South Division


TEXAS STALLIONS

It was quite the busy offseason for GM Strike. He made a big splash early on by acquiring Krease McCool from Mississippi, but was greeted with an empty team to build around him after trading Miles Peters, Mack Ryan, and Caleb Toom in the deal. But Strike fed off the criticism and went out and got former Stallion, Xavi Madrid from Barcelona. He also signed Billy Russell and son of Stallion great OJ McLoo... Jarrett. In the College Draft, he signed Cody Show, Owens Bridge, and Charles Munsen. While Show and Bridge will be thrust into the starting line-up, Munsen will just serve as a guy to eat some minutes off the bench. Many questioned the contract of Cody Show, but if he can produce, maybe GM Strike will be the one laughing. Owen Bridge could be a big story for the Stallions this year as they try to move on after the retirement of Stallions legend, JJ Rogers. GM Strike also secured his coaching staff for the future, so with all that said... while Texas may not be as good as last season on paper... they have the capability to be better in the future.
GRADE: B-
PROJECTION: 1st Place in East's South Division


SAN DIEGO SEAGULLS

With the inaugural season in the books, GM Jon will look to move towards a playoff berth in Season 13. Jon remained pretty quiet in the offseason, but made a few deals. He made some trades to get into he College Draft, where he selected Brett Porter and Kenny Wang. Both of which will be able to improve a bench that was pretty awful last season. He also acquired Ramick Lazco to fill the void left by the trading of Findi Muwama. The biggest news, not surprising, in San Diego was the Head Coach position. Somehow Gene Okenfunk was contacted by another team and offered their job and he took it, leaving GM Jon in search for the 3rd Head Coach in the franchise's short existence. He decided on Mark Brown, who many feel cannot handle the Head Coaching position and is better suited as the Assistant for a team, but there are others who think, if you give him the appreciation, he will make results happen. Let's hope for GM Jon's sake, it's the later or else he might have a recurrence of coaching problems in Season 13. Overall, a sound job done by GM Jon to hopefully get San Diego to the next level.
GRADE: B
PROJECTION: 3rd Place in West's South Division

[Jon]

Grading the Offseason: Volume III

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We now take a look at the next six teams that locked in for Season 13.

TAMPA BAY DRAGONS

What can you say about GM Cory that isn't already known? He will be on thin ice this season due to the implosion of his, at the time, league leading Dragons in Season 12. But he appears to have made some good decisions heading into Season 13. He has a new coaching staff, led by Olympic Coach, Red Mason.... hopefully he has learned from past mistakes and can create a partnership with this one. He had to get rid of two heads of the three-headed serpent in Reggie Jones and Malcolm Hayes and in return he now has Washington Owens and Andreas Kurtz. Overall, not too shabby of a job as Tampa one again has a solid starting five. What concerns me is there bench, which is a bit worse from last season with the singing of Fred Flanders and the drafting of Nigel Bobblecock. Another area concern for GM Cory has to be that Washington Owens is the only player that is eligible at SG and many critics feel that Owens could get burnt out from all the minutes he will have to play, let alone, he had only played the PG position at this point, so it'll be a week by week thing to see how Owens handles it. Overall though, Cory once again made some good moves and has put together a talented team. The question remains, can he let them play without wrecking it now?
GRADE: C+
PROJECTION: 3rd Place East's South Division


ANCHORAGE GLACIERS


GM Rebel promised Ty Williams help and Rebel gave him exactly that. In one of the better trades made by a GM this offseason, as Rebel acquired Ricky Hallmark in exchange for Bolak Huir. He also had a good draft, selecting Lars Holgan and Reagan James, while also trading for another rookie in Calvin Addams. He made some questionable decisions by adding Mark Peck and Davis Newton to fill out his bench... especially the Newton signing. The days of Bobby Joe Roddick are long gone now as he signed Navy Veteran, Vernon Nelson as assistant coach, a move that was praised by critics. It'll be interesting to see if the rookies can immediately keep up with the pace of the FBL and if that's the case, Anchorage and GM Rebel could be in for a deep ride in the playoffs.
GRADE: B-
PROJECTION: 3rd Place in West's North Division


HOLLYWOOD STARS

Coming off the best season in ages for the Hollywood, GM Jen made some moves that could make Hollywood the FBL Champions in Season 13. She acquired Washington Owens and Cheese King in exchange for Sunshine Stream and Joey Mazuka from Birmingham. Then she sent Owens to Tampa Bay for Rookie of the Year, Malcolm Hayes. She picked up skilled combo guard Kev Sanders and also drafted one of the steals of the College Draft in Rhys Mitchell with the last pick. Echo Walls will be thrust into the starting role and was signed to an extension, which was a great move. There could be some pressure on Allan this season with Mitchell breathing down his neck, but other than that... the Stars are looking great on paper. DeShawn Drummond has to be pleased with the supporting cast around him and it might be enough for him to also sign an extension this season. Bright outlook for Hollywood and GM Jen.
GRADE: A
PROJECTION: 2nd Place in West's South Division


PITTSBURGH BLADES

GM Libre has taken the Blades into a team of average misfits and has now assembled a team that could make a challenge against the favorite, Hayseeds. Libre's first order of action was acquiring in a trade with Las Vegas, Remo. He followed that with a trade that brought in bright prospect, Pablo Hurtado... who some think will be a future 6th Man of the Year winner. But in the biggest deal... Libre traded Creed Jackson in return for one of the most respected and talented players in the league, Clint Danberry. Things looked a bit bleak for awhile as the Blades tried to fill a shooting guard void, but they signed Pebbles Lane after not being signed by Boise, and it was praised by all pundits as Pebbles was one of the other steals of the College Draft. Filling out his bench, GM Libre went with Jamie Anderson, who won't dazzle you, but won't lose you games either. And finally, the days of Chris Punder in Pittsburgh are over as GM Libre signed former Montana Bears coach, Nick Shaw to replace Punder as Assistant while also extending beloved Head Coach Ollie Stambola. One thing is for sure, GM Libre has made the great people of Pittsburgh forget who GM Shields even is.
GRADE: A
PROJECTION: 2nd Place in East's North Division


PORTSMOUTH DEFENDERS

GM Shields takes over this new expansion team and started things off with a bang, by drafting Cedric Malone with the first pick in the Expansion Draft. He also skilled point guard, JR Valentine and veteran leader, Larry Stevens. He made a questionable call in drafting and making Ching Bu his starting center... a move that most likely will not work out for the Defenders. In the College Draft, Defenders made an outstanding selection in drafting James Grant. On the bench for the Defenders, GM Shields drafted German rookie, Bralin Hurtz in the College Draft and journeyman, Rick Emerson in the Expansion Draft. Filling out his roster, he made a good trade in acquiring Jose Caballero, who will serve as the team's 6th Man. GM Shields had most his problems arise on the coaching search though. He couldn't come to agreements with Vlad Bogolov or George Lane and settled on unproven Ray Johnson at the helm. In his worst move of the offseason, he added avid pen seller, Deuce Callahan as the assistant. A decision that will not help with the development of his rookies. The question that will shadow GM Shields this season, is can he keep Cedric Malone and Larry Stevens in check and will he listen to his coaches? Regardless, GM Shields has a team that could make the playoffs, but will they?
GRADE: C+
PROJECTION: 5th Place in East's North Division


SEATTLE TOPPERS

GM Dom and the reigning FBL Champions Seattle Toppers are looking for a repeat. The big four in Velez, Harding, Deane, and Ronko stayed put which was no surprise. Entering in though was College Draft picks Bill Parkson, Mark Turner, Jaime Ortega, and Jeff Poole. So GM Dom decided to go young and while it could pay off in the future, many are hesitant on whether it will get them back to the FBL Championship in Season 13. Mark Turner will do great things as the 6th Man of the team and Jaime Ortega looks to be the successor to Chico Velez. But Parkson and Poole are what you call "Draft Duds" and could hinder the success of the Toppers. But knowing GM Dom, he can take average looking teams and make deep runs into the postseason, so you can never count him or the Topper out.
GRADE: C+
PROJECTION: 1st Place in West's North Division

[Strike]

THE N.S. REPORT 3 - PART 2

In this second half of the episode, it is the moment that you have all been waiting for as That Strike Guy and Primo Pancho get in touch with a figure that's both loved and hated across the FBL in GM Dorling. Dorling joins the N.S. Report to discuss his history over his years in the FBL, his relationships with certain players, we ask some questions from the viewing audience, do a little word association and of course...it's the clash you have been waiting for. Dorling vs. Pancho and the gloves do indeed come off. This is a good one, folks, give it a whirl. Not to mention, the nice little easter eggs at the start and end of the show.

[Jon]

Grading the Offseason: Volume IV

----------

Our last six teams have locked in for the season, so let's get right to it.


BISMARK JAGUARS

No team made a bigger positive splash then that of GM Josh and the Jaguars. Josh seemed to have learned a few things since his time with Honolulu and picked up a few tricks during his season away from the FBL. He signed former Tampa Bay coaching duo Maurice Mays and Ben Legacy to come aboard, a great move by Josh as they proved to be good for Tampa until Cory wrecked things. But, let's take a look at what he did in the Expansion Draft, shall we? With his first pick, he selected former 6th Man of the Year, David Kradle. While not the best pick in the world, it will solidify his bench for the season. He followed the Kradle pick with picks of Jose Caballero, Ben Williams, Chii Mai, Felix Johnson, and Marty Brown. I'd say a pretty underwhelming Expansion Draft. GM Josh sent Marty Brown to Providence and sent Felix Johnson to Birmingham. In the College Draft, Josh went with Lou Malone with the second overall pick and followed him up with picks of Mick O'Brien and Raj Thakar. Sitting with his team nearly complete and a ton of cap room, GM Josh went for the home run ball as he contacted Nigel Falls about bringing reigning FBL MVP, Scott Cunningham back into the FBL. He was told to get Bobby Chang first and that's exactly what he went out to do. He traded Ben Williams to Mississippi to get Bobby Chang, then to make cap room for Cunningham, he trades Jose Caballero to Portsmouth for Jamie Dawson. After that, the pen went to paper and Cunningham became a Jaguar. Easily the biggest signing and move, possibly ever in any FBL offseason. Now can Josh get Bismark to the playoffs and a potential championship? One thing is for sure, Bismark became the class of the this expansion season.
GRADE: A+
PROJECTION: 2nd Place in West's North Division


BOSTON BELLS

Oh man, I'm left a little speechless on what happened in Boston over this offseason. GM TyTy went for broke when he traded for Season 11 MVP, Troy Marshall in exchange for Sy Rogers and Reggie Ferndale.... and broke is exactly what TyTy ended up as Marshall said "NO!" to Boston and opted to the Super League, leaving Boston with a very depleted roster. In the College Draft, TyTy went with Vlad Blazka, Roddy McCray, and Gobble Alot... neither of them giving the Boston fan base anything to get excited about. He then signed defensive bench player Chuck Ginge before trading him to Birmingham for draft bust, Rex Holly and his massive over paid contract. He brought over Tony Luco to be his assistant again, which was probably his best move of the offseason. But he also, for some strange reason, signed Gene Okenfunk from San Diego to be the Head Coach. In the end, GM TyTy is left with a couple of decent point guards and nothing else as this is rumored to be the worst team ever assembled in the FBL. While GM TyTy might be broke, let's hope he's not broken. In saying that, one win might be a huge stretch for this team this season.
GRADE: F
PROJECTION: 6th Place in East's North Division


BOISE SPUDS   

This poor franchise has gone through so much. Between Arkia and her seductive nature... GM Franchise... Powers taking the team to Mississippi with him... and TyTy. Now they have GM Triple B under the helm and it already looks like things are off in a better direction. Triple B quickly dealt away Tony Luco to Boston and Hank Gray to Mississippi. He then signs on the team of Vlad Bogolov and Nezra Borgavich which many think could be one of the top coaching tandems this upcoming season. Vlad also hooked Triple B up with two players from Russia in Petri Rovuk and Druzen Krakovic. In the College Draft, B went with Babe Ribbs, Nariaki Hitomi, and Pebbles Lane. He opted not to sign Lane however. B also acquired solid Center, Nyako Umjumbo from San Diego. All in all, albeit a young team in Boise... a bright future is definitely on the horizon for the Spuds and GM Triple B... and they could make a run for the playoffs this season in what appears to be a very balanced North Division.
GRADE: B
PROJECTION: 6th Place in West's North Division


WYOMING TIMBERWOLVES

The biggest drama coming from Wyoming's camp this off-season was the disappearance of GM Black Death. We all hope he is okay and he comes back to us soon. In the meantime, we found out that a new GM, Soul, will be taking over in the interim. Wyoming did some good moves this off-season to position themselves for a run at the postseason. After acquiring Gary Boldeer from Anchorage, they traded away Andreas Kurtz for a high draft pick and Sparky Weasel from Honolulu. They looked to the draft for the rest of the off-season to complete their roster by drafting Mowa and Wayo Juiama in the first round and Kazuko Lee in the second round. All three of them are expected to make a positive impact for the Wolves in Season 13. On the coach front, GM Black Death went and finally hired a reliable assistant in Zizac Rekov, officially ending the awful reign of Moses Franks. I expect the Wolves to be competitive in the wide open North Division and a playoff berth is not out of the question. In the meantime, all eyes will be on new GM Soul to make sure the ship stays afloat.
GRADE: B-
PROJECTION: 5th Place in West's North Division


ROSWELL ALIENS

GM Steven is now coming off back-to-back Western Finals and expectations couldn't be higher in Roswell for Season 13. In a shocking development Sean Rivers bolted to the Super League, leaving a gaping slot at the shooting guard position. Chris Flynn was stolen by Texas and Assistant Coach, Mark Brown was stolen by San Diego. GM Steven had his work cut out for him. He traded for Hans Fuhr, who will serve as the teams 6th Man... a somewhat questionable decision there. He also acquired Roy and Wes Ferndale as well, to fill out his bench. In the College Draft, he selected Alec Bradd, who will be inserted immediately into the starting line-up. It's strange to say, but it looks like Roswell took a step back this off-season instead of taking a step forward. And it's all because of two very important decision made by GM Steven. One, he signed age old Scott Fletcher to a $14 million contract extension. And two, he failed to send in the paperwork to extend his team captain and heart of the Aliens, Champ Martin's contract.... and now does not have the cap room to do so. I expect some turmoil in Roswell this season and GM Steven is going to have to hit the think tank to figure out of this mess.
GRADE: D+
PROJECTION 5th Place in West's South Division


MISSISSIPPI STEAMERS

And last, but not least, we have the Steamers and GM Powers. Before I get started, let me say that there is ZERO returning starters to the Steamers this season. GM Powers started off by dealing away disgruntled star player, Krease McCool to Texas in exchange for Miles Peters, Mack Ryan, and Caleb Toom. He then traded away Ramick Lazco to San Diego. He then traded, this will start sounded repetitive,  Miles Peters to Kentucky for Joe Reed. He then traded away Caleb Toom to Puerto Rico for Damore Richards. He then traded away Ernie Bell to Providence for Bobby Chang, which triggered the Scott Cunningham incident. Upon running into some cap issues, he traded away Bobby Chang to Bismark for Ben Williams. He also traded for Hank Gray from Boise. Okay so I have heard of trading, but I think GM Powers might have gone a little overboard this off-season. In the middle of all that, star defensive player Dennis Reigns bolted to the Super League. In free agency, he picked up his 6th Man, Paul Wheeter and undrafted Eric Eisen. Then in a very strange decision, he adds actor, Marcus Wear to the team to fill out his bench. In my opinion, I think he should have stopped after getting the three quality players from Texas and then get his bench decided with his remaining cap. To replace departed Horace Hall, GM Powers hired Nathan Spots on, who I think will do a decent enough job in that position. There is some good things I like about Mississippi, but I will take about the things that could effect their season. Hank Gray was rumored as the starter and if I recall correctly, at his age, I think he is better off coming from the bench. And Marcus Wear? Really? REALLY!? Especially when someone like Phil Cook could have given you at least a guy that wants to play basketball and knows how to dribble one. GM Powers has a good core of Damore, Mack, and Reed and they will need to carry this team to the postseason.
GRADE: C
PROJECTION: 4th Place in East's South Division

[Jon]

Grading the Offseason: Volume V

------

Now that every team is is locked in. I will give my final predictions on the upcoming season as well as who I think will be taking home the individual hardware.

WESTERN CONFERENCE

North Divsion
1. Seattle Toppers
2. Bismark Jaguars
3. Anchorage Glaciers
4. Montana Bears
5. Wyoming Timberwolves
6. Boise Spuds

South Division
1. Las Vegas Aces
2. Hollywood Stars
3. San Diego Seagulls
4. Honolulu Volcanoes
5. Roswell Aliens
6. Colorado Hooks


EASTERN CONFERENCE

North Divsion
1. Kentucky Hayseeds
2. Pittsburgh Blades
3. Virginia Colonials
4. Providence Diamonds
5. Portsmouth Defenders
6. Boston Bells

South Division
1. Texas Stallions
2. Baton Rouge RiverBandits
3. Tampa Bay Dragons
4. Mississippi Steamers
5. Puerto Rico Waves
6. Birmingham GreenHornets

----------

Western Conference Champion: Hollywood Stars

Eastern Conference Champion: Pittsburgh Blades

FBL Finals Champion: Hollywood Stars

FBL Finals MVP: Malcolm Hayes (Hollywood)

Season 13 MVP: Redford Shack (Las Vegas)

Season 13 Defensive Player of the Year: Mutu Mukwaza (Pittsburgh)

Season 13 6th Man of the Year: Pablo Hurtado (Pittsburgh)

Season 13 Rookie of the Year: Chris Thomas (Baton Rouge)

All-FBL Team: PG: Ricky Hallmark (Anchorage), Krease McCool (Texas), Scott Cunningham (Bismark), Kamil Bennett (Kentucky), Redford Shack (Las Vegas)

[Ian "Wolfie" Trumps]

Finally got round to listening NS Report. A lot of fun and very good guys. Moments in FBL was very funny.

[Strike]

Finally got round to listening NS Report. A lot of fun and very good guys. Moments in FBL was very funny.

The idea just came off Talon, Pancho and I reading over old season stuff from some of the guys across the league - I think we've got a homerun with those, so it'll be fun implementing them into the shows as we go through the season. Also, Dorling's being brought in to do Vraba every single time now after that last one. Glad you enjoyed it, boss, would love to have you on again at some point whenever you've got the time.

[Strike]

THE N.S. REPORT 4

In this N.S. Report, The Strike Guy and Primo Pancho are up and at it to recap some of the main topics and results in the first week of Season 13. Between the fact they're both ecstatic that GM Death has returned, their reactions to one of the biggest news up to date in the past few seasons and how they decide to cope with it, breakdowns, sneezes, Strike thinking it's 2 A.M. while they're inside of a studio...all of this and more! So take a seat, relax, lean back and give it a whirl.

[Hondo]

WHO'S THE BEST FBL AGENT?
by Hond A. Adande


So you wanna play in the FBL, huh? Well good luck, because the FBL is the premier basketball association in the world today, where the best of the best (and Chuckles Tree) hit the hardwood and vie for ultimate supremacy. But if you're ready to be a FBL Superstar, then you're gonna need some representation.

Currently, there are 12 agents licensed by the FBL with players in the league. But how do you go about picking the right one? That's where WE come in.

Using SCIENCE!, we've created an algorithm to see which agents get their players onto the court, who gets them the biggest paycheck and offers them the best representation. Using these rankings, we're going to rank them from 12 to number 1. Choose wisely, fledgling FBL player. The decision you make on your representation could be the difference between filet mignon and frozen dinners!

(NOTE: All statistics and figures taken from the end of Offseason. They do not reflect changes made once coaches and players came back from vacation.)

Without further ado, here's #'s 12 – 10 on our list.

12. DEE SOLO

NOTABLE CLIENTS
Jamal Tees, Roswell
Dusty Britches, Providence
Marty Brown, Providence

Number of Total Clients: 12
Number of Clients in FBL: 9
Number of Clients in SL: 3
Number of Clients unemployed: 0

Average Client Rating (0-12 scale): 3.44 (D+)
Average Client Salary (FBL only): $3.44 mil


If agents were cars, Dee Solo would be the old 1989 Buick Regal that sits on the back row of the dealership. It looks a little rough, one of the doors is different colors than the rest of the car, and it doesn't seem to have nearly as much to offer as the other cars around it. But it serves a basic purpose and gets you where you need to be. Well, most of the time anyway.

Dee Solo normally caters to lower-level players, players  who are trying to get a foot-hold into the league. His client base lacks a lot of the flash that other agents boast, but Solo has one thing going for him: all his clients have work. As a matter of fact, he is one of only five FBL agents that can say that all their clients play basketball somewhere in the world.

One of his biggest accomplishments to date is the massive contract he managed to land for Boston swingman Rex Holly. Holly, who has done very little in the league so far and is widely considered a draft bust, is not only the Bells' highest paid player, but he's also the fourth highest-paid starting SF in the Eastern Conference! He makes as much on a season as legendary SF Larry Stevens does.

A couple of his players (Tees and Britches, as well as Wayo Juiama) have shown promise, but for the most part, his clientele are just happy to be in the league.

FINAL ANALYSIS

If you're just looking to make it in the FBL, but you don't quite have the talent that other players do, Solo may be the guy to fill your cup. But if you're looking to make a big payday, and your GM isn't TyTy, then you may want to look elsewhere.

11. TONY CONTE

NOTABLE CLIENTS
Nick Gravin, Montana
Cedric Malone, Portsmouth
Pebbles Lane, Pittsburgh


Number of Total Clients: 30
Number of Clients in FBL: 23
Number of Clients in SL: 7
Number of Clients unemployed: 0

Average Client Rating (0-12 scale): 4.74 (C)
Average Client Salary (FBL only): $4.17 mil


Seeing Tony Conte so low on the list is, quite frankly, a little surprising. After all, he's tied for the most clients of any agent in the league, so apparently players tend to trust him. Conte also represents a lot of the league's bigger names. Outside of the three we already mentioned, he conducts business for the likes of Miles Peters, Harry Allan and Champ Martin.

On average, however, he may not be getting as much for his clients as most other agents. While he has statistically the ninth-best roster in the game, he's next to last in average salary. That's not good when your game is trying to get the most for your players. His clientele choices are a bit questionable too, choosing to represent the likes of Ching Bu, Bart Finkle and Gobble Alot, et. al. (Although to be fair, he managed to land the latter a 3 yr/ $1.3 mil contract. So he's got that going for him, which is nice.) Oh, and did I mention that he represents not one, not two, but SIX of the eight Boston Bells? That's not a great sign either.

FINAL ANALYSIS

He may be one of the most popular agents among players, and all of his clients have jobs, but he doesn't get quite the bang for their buck as they probably should. Being associated with Alot hurts matters as well.

10. GARY SCOTT

NOTABLE CLIENTS
Cam Drake, San Diego
Jay Chill, Baton Rouge
Swoop McCarthy, Baton Rouge


Number of Total Clients: 30
Number of Clients in FBL: 24
Number of Clients in SL: 5
Number of Clients unemployed: 1

Average Client Rating (0-12 scale): 4.50 (C)
Average Client Salary (FBL only): $4.94 mil


Much like Tony Conte, Gary Scott appears to be trusted by a lot of the players in the league. He's tied with Conte for the most overall clients, and has more players that currently play in the FBL than any other agent. His stable has quite a few good ball players to boot. The crown jewel of his roster is Cam Drake, one of the promising young point guards in the league, as well as several upper-level roleplayers.

A few things drag Scott down a bit, however. For one, while he has the most players in the FBL, he has the second-lowest percentage of total clients in the FBL with a surprising 76%. And while he has some quality players in his portfolio, he has a few stinkers that drag them all down. He represents Chuckles Tree, the man famous for accidently winning a championship ring with Kentucky, as well as never-was guys like Grizla Valinka, Chuck Ginge, Jamie Dawson and Nigel Bobblecock. That's definitely a Murderer's Row of suck. Although to be fair, he managed to sucker GM Alex into a $5.5 million dollar contract for Valinka, so he's got at least SOME skill. Not being able to land Brock Landers a basketball job in the offseason knocks him down a little as well.


FINAL ANALYSIS

Gary Scott is a pretty good agent who represents a few really good players, but his collection of FBL turds brings the whole group down a few pegs.


Coming next week, Numbers 9 through 7!!

[Hondo]

WHO'S THE BEST FBL AGENT? AGENTS 9 – 7
By Hond A. Adande

Last week, we told you who Numbers 12 – 10 were on our countdown of the best FBL agents. Now, we give you Numbers 9 - 7.

9. SAM MULLER

NOTABLE CLIENTS
Clint Danberry, Pittsburgh
Corbin Dallas, Montana
Dre Majors, Virginia

Number of Total Clients: 28
Number of Clients in FBL: 23
Number of Clients in SL: 5
Number of Clients unemployed: 0

Average Client Rating (0-12 scale): 4.65 (C)
Average Client Salary (FBL only): $4.65 mil


Agent Sam Muller was able to pull one of the biggest coups in FBL history when he retained the services of Clint Danberry, arguably the best center in the Eastern Conference. Swiping his services (and his huge commissions) from the likes of power agents like Nigel Falls is no small feat. But once you cross Danberry off the list, and get past Dallas, Majors, Ronnie Stanza and Matt Foster, you have... well, not a lot. If Dee Solo was the 1989 Buick Regal on the back row of the dealership, then Sam is the tan 2001 Dodge Caravan that you barely notice is there. There's a lot of mediocrity on his client roster, that's for sure. If his player base was a TV show, it'd be one of those dull comedies on the WB Network that isn't completely terrible, but no one gives a crap about. These guys are the Mello Yello of the basketball universe. They're the Pringles. And not the cool, pizza or buffalo sauce flavored ones. I'm talking the plain ones that taste like actual tennis balls.

FINAL ANALYSIS

Sam Muller has a few good clients, but there's so much mediocrity there that we barely notice he's here. If you're just looking for a job in the FBL, then Sam may be your guy. But if you want your star to shine, you better steer for more open waters.

8. SLICK PUNT

NOTABLE CLIENTS
Damore Richards, Mississippi
Freddie Bishop, Kentucky
Kolo Rolo, Puerto Rico

Number of Total Clients: 17
Number of Clients in FBL: 14
Number of Clients in SL: 3
Number of Clients unemployed: 0

Average Client Rating (0-12 scale): 4.78(C)
Average Client Salary (FBL only): $4.61 mil



On the surface, Slick Punt seems like a decent enough agent. His client base, apart from a few turds in Marcus Wear, Fred Flanders and Ofal "Don't Call Me Awful (even though I am)" Akanna , isn't too shabby. There aren't any real "stars", per se, on his clientele, but he has guys who play on the upper level, like Richards, Bishop and Rolo, as well as JR Valentine, Eric Eisen and Mission. The biggest knock on Punt, aside from his fashion sense, is the contracts he's pulling in for his players.

Of all the agents in this list, only Tony Conte and Dee Solo pull in a lower average salary for their clients than Punt. Take for instance Mission, who despite being able to play three positions on the floor for perennial contenders Las Vegas, only draws in a $1 million dollar salary. You can argue that this is due to the shrewdness of GM Dorling's negotiating tactics, any other agent would have shopped his client around to at least drive up his price. This isn't the case for Punt.

Also take into account rookie guard Eric Eisen, who has shown much promise off of Mississippi's bench, but yet only draws a $500k salary. How does a player of his caliber make less money than other pure point guards, like  washed-up Chui Mai ($1 mil) and Sparky Weasel ($4.5 mil)? Shoddy negotiating, if you ask me.

FINAL ANALYSIS

While he has a good, solid core of clients, if you're looking to bring in some major loot, punt away from Slick.

7. CHIP MANN

NOTABLE CLIENTS
Leighton Lee, Tampa Bay
Ernie Bell, Providence
Felix Johnson, Birmingham

Number of Total Clients: 15
Number of Clients in FBL: 10
Number of Clients in SL: 4
Number of Clients unemployed: 1

Average Client Rating (0-12 scale): 4.90(C)
Average Client Salary (FBL only): $5.15 mil


Contrary to what you may think, Chip Mann isn't the guy who fills the vending machines, he's actually a pretty decent agent. His top client is all-star point guard Leighton Lee, who is slowly becoming the best point guard in the league (especially after JJ Rogers' retirement over the offseason). And he manages to get good salaries for his players, averaging $5.15 million per player. Consider also that he managed to get $ 4 mil per season for human waste of space Mick O'Brian and part-time porn star Felix Johnson a hefty $5.5 million dollar money shot. Heck, he even managed to get a Ferndale (Reggie, for those keeping score at home) a $6 mil contract! He knows the score at the negotiating table, that's a fact.

So what's the problem then, you say? Well, looking past Lee and Bell, his client roster is the Land that Talent Forgot. Mann is the FBL equivalent of Old Mother Hubbard, and that cupboard is BARE. His client base is an eclectic blend of has-beens and never-wases. Potential clients look at his lists of clients and nearly fall asleep. I'd call his list dull as dishwater, but the dishwater would be offended. We don't know what it is that keeps good clients away from a guy who can get them some serious cash. Maybe he has chronic bad breath or body odor. Or maybe he keeps a collection of Felix Johnson "movies" in his office and watches them at all hours. Who knows. But whatever it is, it must be major.

FINAL ANALYSIS

Chip Mann knows how to get his clients what they're worth. If you're out to make money, Chip's your guy. But you'll get sucked into a talent black hole if you do.

[Jon]

FBL Season 13 Midseason Report

We have reached the halfway point in the season... so let's take a look back at the past 5 weeks as well as name our predictions for the rest of the way.




Regular Midseason Awards

MVP: Redford Shack - Center - Las Vegas Aces
Honorable Mentions: Clint Danberry (Pittsburgh), Creed Jackson (Virginia), Mason Griffin (Wyoming), Kamil Bennett (Kentucky)

DPotY: Mutu Mukwaza - SG/SF - Pittsburgh Blades
Honorable Mentions: Lou Malone (Bismarck), Kolo Rolo (Puerto Rico), Lucic Chachenko (Montana), Bolak Huir (Virginia)

6th Man: Tim McDonald - PG - Las Vegas Aces
Honorable Mentions: Pablo Hurtado (Pittsburgh), Sunshine Stream (Birmingham), David Kradle (Bismarck), Cheese King (Hollywood)

Rookie of the Year: James Grant - PF/C - Portsmouth Defenders
Honorable Mentions: Pebbles Lane (Pittsburgh), Lou Malone (Bismarck), Mowa (Wyoming), Rik Kluff (Puerto Rico)




Made-Up Midseason Awards

Let's Pack Up Award: GM Strike leaving Texas to GM the new expansion, Calgary Thundercats

Biggest Trade: Virginia trades Dre Majors & S14 1st Round Draft Pick to Anchorage for Ricky Hallmark

Did that just happen?: GM Dorling stealing Malcolm Hayes from Hollywood, only to trade him to Providence

HOT MAMMA!: Puerto Rico signing Blair Smith for Season 14

D'oh!: GM Franchise and what is known as Mathgate




Playoff Predications

West - North: Seattle, Bismarck, Montana, Anchorage

West - South: Las Vegas, San Diego, Hollywood, Honolulu

East - North: Kentucky, Virginia, Pittsburgh, Portsmouth

East - South Tampa Bay, Puerto Rico, Texas, Birmingham

FBL Finals: Tampa Bay over Hollywood




All-Star Game Predictions

WEST
PG: Cam Drake - San Diego
SG: Mason Griffin - Wyoming
SF: Scott Cunningham - Bismarck
PF: DeShawn Drummond - Hollywood
C: Redford Shack - Las Vegas
BN: Joe Harding - Seattle
BN: Matt Foster - San Diego
BN: Ty Williams - Anchorage

EAST
PG: Leighton Lee - Tampa Bay
SG: Krease McCool - Texas
SF: Mutu Mukwaza - Pittsburgh
PF: Kamil Bennett - Kentucky
C: Clint Danberry - Pittsburgh
BN: Kolo Rolo - Puerto Rico
BN: Creed Jackson - Virginia
BN: Leon Dreams - Virginia