Transfer Rumours

[Rob]

I noticed our little haven for Football discussion has gone a little unappreciated lately, so here's the Transfer Rumours as of the 29th of December according to the Guardians Rumour Mill.

Well, thank goodness that's over. Christmas in the Mill household wasn't much of a restful affair. Ma and Pa Mill bickered over Turkey cooking times, Old Granny Mill bored on about how transfer gossip isn't what it used to be back when speculation over 'Gentlemen' Jim Rossiter's move from Old Etonians to the Royal Engineers lasted more than three decades, and the annual game of Pictionary fell into disarray after one side refused to play on having been stuck on 'Action' for over an hour. Then we watched Wallace and Gromit and, while others cooed over its cutesy comedy, the Mill couldn't help feel it was somewhat over-rated.

Speaking of which, Iain Dowie is on the shortlist for the vacant managerial position at Nottingham Forest.

But as the turkey grows staler, thoughts turn quickly to January and the live-affirming rumour torrent that is the transfer window. Arsenal, for example, will look to reinvigorate their season by signing Newcastle's Shay Given, Charles N'Zogbia and Steven Taylor.

Harry Redknapp will offer Manchester United's Ben Foster £20,000 a week to oust Heurelho Gomes as No1 at White Hart Lane.

Juande Ramos's attempts to recreate that Premier League vibe at Real Madrid now focus on Blackburn's Roque Santa Cruz and Wigan's Antonio Valencia.

Manchester City are planning more swoops than a hungry eagle hovering over a field of plump chinchillas. They'll make a £15m double swoop for Scott Parker and Craig Bellamy. And a £12m swoop for Villarreal's Marcos Senna. And a £6m swoop for Michael Owen.

Jermain Defoe is packing his troubles into his old Pompey kitbag and heading out of Fratton Park. Martin O'Neill has ordered a taxi to take him to Aston Villa. The meter reads £16,000,000. If Manchester City's cab beats him to it, O'Neill will send a horse and trap to collect Tottenham's Darren Bent.

Shakhtar Donetsk's Mariusz Lewandowski is on his way to Wigan. On his way there he'll pass Ryan Taylor, who's swapping the JJB Stadium for Bolton's Reebok version.

And in exotic European news, Barcelona have their beady eyes on Le Mans striker Gervinho and Rangers want Hibs playmaker Dean Shiels.

It should also be noted that Man City have apparently swooped for Chelsea's Wayne Bridge. I've heard they bought him for around 12 million but its mostly undisclosed guess work.

[Rob]

Oops, didn't realise it was a daily thing, I thought it was weekly. I suppose it will be daily now the window is open. Here's today's transfer rumours.

The Mill has waited four months since the last window shut shovelling rumours of a hurricane about to blow out the glass on the January edition and what have we had? David bleeding Nish, that's what.

Oh hang on, Wayne Bridge will be persuaded to move his cherished Imperial Stormtrooper costume from his games room in Cobham to the one provided by Manchester City in Alderley Edge for a fee of £8m, £10m or £12m, depending on how hard Peter Kenyon tries to cling on to his second- and occasional third-choice left back. The Mail thinks he wants the full £12m so Felipao can sign CSKA Moscow's left-sided midfielder, Yuri Zhirkov, or "Russia's Ronaldinho" as it calls him. A proper Brazilian, Santos's defender Kleber, is on his way to Stamford Bridge for £2m because Milan are going to lob £10m into the Chelsea kitty for Alex.

Over at Spurs, Aitch fancies his chances of picking up Jermain Defoe for only £5m, or so says the Mirror, because Portsmouth still owe instalments on him and fellow Ramos refugee Younes Kaboul. It's like Harry, who signed the pair, left a time bomb back at Fratton Park. Having already banked £5m for Redknapp and £20m for Lassana Diarra, Tony Adams will be allowed to spend some of the Defoe windfall on Lyon's Sidney Govou (£3m) and Boro's Gary "pining for Pompey" O'Neil.

The Spurs manager has also revealed how his son Jamie is his consigliere, and he regularly rings up the skinny-tied Sky pundit for advice, even during half-time. Far be it for the Mill to suggest that this might consist of a son telling his father "Frankie Lampard has his critics but I just don't get it. He is pure kerwality, Richard, er Dad" just because that's about the sum of the insight those unrelated to him are usually offered.

Lucas Neill, who chose West Ham over Liverpool in 2006 for "purely footballing reasons" rather than the reported offer of £60,000 a week being double what Rafa Benítez allegedly wanted to give him, will be the first of the Baby Bentley Hammers to leave under Gianfranco Zola for the bargain sum of £0. Mark Hughes, who was miffed when he left Blackburn, wants to bury the hatchet and take him to Eastlands but the Mail thinks the Aussie international is off to join Harry Kewell at Galatasary if they can match his Upton Park salary. Also leaving the Irons are Calum Davenport to Bolton, Scott Parker to, inevitably, Man City, Julien Faubert to Lyon, Paris St-Germain or Nantes, and Lee Bowyer to anyone who will have him.

The Star thinks Newcastle will muster up £5m to throw at Sheffield United for Stephen Quinn and Kyle Naughton but have accepted they cannot afford Matthew Upson and will take Blackburn's Chris Samba instead. They might also need a goalkeeper as Shay Given wants out of St James' Park, after his lawyer confirmed the drubbing by Liverpool might have finally broken the keeper's patience. Further south, Boro will add the O'Neil booty to the £2.5m they are hoping to get from Wigan for Mido to make Hibernian a too-good-to-refuse offer for Stephen Fletcher and hope to have enough left for Reading's James Harper.

Over in Stretford Cristiano Ronaldo has accused a Real Madrid deep throat of being a "liar" for claiming his summer transfer to them was a done deal and Sir Alex Ferguson is willing to offer £6m cash for Leeds United's Fabian Delph, a further £4m in add-ons and the services of Rodrigo Possebon and Darron Gibson on loan until the end of the season.

Big Sam will be persuaded to loosen his grip on Roque Santa Cruz's collar for City's £18m, thinks the Express, and will invest some of it in his former chums El Hadji Diouf and Tal Ben Haim. In Liverpool, Everton have set their sights on a loan deal for Fiorentina's Giampaolo Pazzini if David Nugent stays at Portsmouth and some tabloids have started to refer to Liverpool's captain as "Gerro" again instead of their more usual and overtly familiar "Stevie". Could something have happened this week to make them change normal practice?