The Rundown - 7/13

[Tim-Æ]

Welcome to "The Rundown" this will be my weekly cap on the films I've seen in the last week. Some will be good, some will be bad, but ALL of them...will be 100% worth your time to read about and hopefully cackle at how shit terrible this form of "entertainment" can be. This is mostly just the movies that aren't worth a thread to themselves.


First up.


HANCOCK

Dreadful. Simply dreadful. Jason Bateman offers comedic randomness in there, plus he gets to bone (at least that's insinuated) his one time love interest from Arrested Development, resident hottie Charlize Theron. The first act is ok, it builds the momentum, but somewhere between the 2nd and 3rd act, this goes belly up, and we're left with a typical Will Smith movie. Funny thing about this movie is that outside of the previously mentioned actors, not one other name in the credits is recognizable (and that includes crew!). What this says to me is that this flick was constructed strictly for Will Smith's career. The fact that people pay for this kind of garbage is what kills me the most. (note: I did not PAY to see this movie. Someone "treated" me to it...what a treat aye?) Bottom line is....Will Smith is like the titanic. He's got power, he's got lots of money, but shit, once he hits that ice cold glacier (namely critics) his ass is going to sink, and he's sinking fast. That's three movies in a row for me that he has struck out on to me (Pursuit of Happyness, I Am Legend, and now this). Boring.

C-


The Ruins: Unrated

It starts out promising, but a majority of this movie is just really bad movie gore. It's excessive and unwarranted to me. For some reason horror films these days cannot be "scary" they have to be "gore" and lots of blood and nasty crap being spit everywhere. That's not horror. Horror is supposed to freak you, make you jump. Not make you say "WTF? That's dumb." I haven't been scared by a movie in years. But this one had promise. The premise was...well...dumb. But it did have promise, around the time that they got stuck on the temple, I thought it might go in a good direction, but it didn't. Then the hot chick in the movie starts cutting herself all over and it just gets dumb from that point on. Bad. Bad. Bad.

D


BRAZIL

Ah yes....Terry Gillam. Wanks should know this bloke, he's part of the infamous Monty Python clan. This is one trippy film, and some people have declared it a modern masterpiece well ahead of its time. Filmed in 1985, it was nominated for a few oscars (mainly set, costume design, and original screenplay).  Jonathan Pryce (of the Pirates movies) spends all day pretending his life doesn't suck in the future. Gillam loves telling stories about the future (see: 12 Monkeys). Some are humorous (like this one) and some are not (once again: 12 Monkeys). I guarantee that some do not like this movie based solely on the imagery that shines through. It can be distracting but really, its quite a beautiful movie, with amazing landscapes and excellent set designs that inspire laughter and fear at the same time. There's genuinely some creepy sets in "Brazil." Its in the IMDB.com's top 250 rated by fans, so its worth a watch for anyone into indie films. I can't say its one of my favorites, but its worth a watch indeed.

B+


Vantage Point

Ug. What should have been very good, turned out to be very bad. Vantage Point plays like a kid on ADD. Its made up of quick shots, that disrupt the flow, and hope to throw you off the trail. The modern movie goer though, knows when somethings up. We're not ALL stupid. Dennis Quaid is protecting the president played by William Hurt, who is giving a speech in Spain when he gets shot. The next 90 minutes shows it from 6 or 7 different "vantage points" so you can see why its happening and how. The only problem is...none of it is exciting, surprising, or even all that interesting. Any five year old could tell you who the bad guy is 15 minutes into the movie. It's uninspired, and insulting to the viewer. Don't waste your time.

D

The Grand

I randomly spotted this one in Hastings the other day. It's nothing spectacular but it has some funny moments in it. Woody Harrelson, David Cross, Chris Parnell, and Dennis Fraina lead a pretty good cast of comedians and B-list actors in a high stakes card game for 10 million in cash in Vegas. The comedy is low brow but some of it is really clever. The standouts being David Cross and Chris Parnell, with some great dead pan moments. However, Harrelson is the one that sucks the life out of what could have been a hilarious comedy poking fun at how ridiculous online poker and gambling has become in the US. Instead, it just falls just below the mark of a memorable comedy. If you're a fan of either Cross (which I am) or Parnell, its worth a watch. I'd say use your free rental ticket for this one if you have nothing else to watch.

C+


Next week.....

THE DARK KNIGHT.