Oohhh Tiger...

[Bryan Payne]

The voicemail that dare not speak it's name.  For added fun, set this as your own private voicemail message.   

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGeCC-MWXE0

[Hondo]

Dude be pimpin', man...dude be pimpin'.

He done went and got him a ho on every corner of the world.  He's had more chicks on his johnson than there are bad Vince Russo booking ideas.

Dude be gettin so much ass they're gonna name an STD after him. I'm pushing for "Tigerrhea".

Dude's gonna make Wilt Chamberlain look like Pope John Paul II.

Even Gene Simmons looks at Tiger and says, "Golly gee, that's a lot of ass!"

I'm starting to wonder if the movie Booty Call was his unauthorized biography.

That's all I have for now.

[jagilki]

This thread title, makes me start humming Chavo Guerrerros theme song.

[! JDM The Professional !]

Lol, gave me a laugh or two.

[Bryan Payne]

I know, actually seeing the girls picture was the biggest WTF since Hugh Grant

[jagilki]

Available Vagina is a powerful thing.

[Bryan Payne]

Found this online, lol.
It had the caption:  "Anyone else notice the common theme here?"

[Bryan Payne]

In a strange twist it now seems that Tiger's mother in law was hospitalized after visiting them in their home.  Could it be?..

"Mom we're getting a divorce."

"WHAT?!? I'm a government official you can't do that!"

"Well it's true, she's frigid, I'm a sex addict.. it's just not working"

*thud*

"Uh.. Mom.. get up.. oh god call 911!"

[Bryan Payne]

Now, with this guys endorsements in trouble he goes and quits golf?  WTF.  I mean that was how he was going to get them back right?  By winning again.  It makes me wonder if the reason he hasn't been seen in public since the car wreck that night is because he hurt himself.  Because I'm sorry I think we've established that he doesn't care about his marriage pretty conclusively at this point right?

http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/tiger-woods-golf-hiatus-amid-infidelity-cost-pga/story?id=9319952

[Bryan Payne]

latest amusing rumor in this little melodrama that just won't die. is that the reason he hasn't been seen in public is that the "night" everything when down his wife threw a cell phone at his head and chipped one of his teeth marring that little trademark smile of his.  So he's now scheduled for oral surgery to get it fixed.  I wonder if he'll bang the nurse in his room before the wheel him off to surgery..... hmmm... 

[Kenfucius]

He cares a lot about the $100 million he'd have to cough up in the divorce, and his wife gave him an out.

Quit golf until the kids are old enough that she can bring them to every tour event to keep an eye on him, or she walks.

That's the way I heard it anyway.

He's rich enough that he can do without the tour money for a few years, and talented enough that when he comes back he'll get his place back in the tour and on the rankings within a couple of years, he's also young enough that he won't lose too much of a step in his absence as long as he keeps his practice up.