Impact vs RAW thoughts by Sir Ian Trumps

[Ian "Wolfie" Trumps]

TNA Impact 26th April 2010

Now this should be the week were RAW places their trump card...the draft.

- Show opens with what is becoming a really great standard of video package from TNA. Last week killed RAW for me and I am reminded of how much I enjoyed it.

- Opening promo was fab. Hogan and Flaire were a bit of a downer on it, but RVD is well over with TNA fans and Styles is becoming a tremendous heel on the mic his 'ar you high now' and 'bs tag match' quotes were superb.

- BP segment was fine, mostly because they are fine. LVE as an idiot is kind of funny. I didnt need to be reminded of the horrendous lock box segment.

- Pretty poor match, still kicks the hell out of any Divas thing on WWE which is why I think Phoenix has been given their belt back. I totally agree with the BP holding all the gold, not sure if Tara and Love is an interesting feud at all.

- X Division title on the line now as well. Maybe a little title happy this week TNA. Anyway, I like the fact Kaz and Williams will have to meet when he is back. I am surprised Moore is more over than I thought, Morgan with an intererference...followed by Joe going mental. Maybe my B.I. theory kidnapping Joe isnt too far out! Joe still monster over. Morgan well it follows his reason to kill off all his tag team partners.

- Abyss cuts promo on EXACTLY WHAT I HAVE SAID HE WOULD DO FOR ABOUT 4 WEEKS WHY EVERYONE ELSE DID THE RING GIVES HIM MAGIAL POWERS AS AN EXCUSE TO DISS ON TNA...THANK YOU like the camera angles they are doing in TNA. Also Jesse Neal and Morgan was a nice little segment as well.

- BS Tag match was good and a good example of how to book a tag match with falls counting anywhere.

[Ian "Wolfie" Trumps]

TNA Impact 26th April 2010...CONTINUED

- Digging these backstage camera things kind of like that old stuff Russo did in WWE. GTV or whatvever it was called.

- Anderson vs Pope was a money in ring promo confrontation. Honestly if your not a TNA fan and remember Anderson from his gay WWE days...wake up. Ken Anderson in TNA is the man. Pope and him will be great battle on the mic and in the ring and now with Angle away when he comes back he doesnt come back right to face Anderson. Excellent in ring segment.

- Apparently life isnt the only thing to leave X Pac fucked and a pool of his own blood...

- The cluster fuck of 3D, Wolf Pack, Jesse Neal, Morgan and Moore wasnt bad, but it wasnt great. It spent a lot of time furthering an angle in 3D vs Band which they dont need to. Furthermore is there going to be a team called 'The Mohawks'.

- LOVE THE IDEA OF THE FAN INTERACTION FOR TNA WORLD TITLE. WWE take not, its made a focal point of their show. Such a smart company.

- OJ's promo was weird...Black Goldust apparently with Rob Terry as Razor Ramon...very meh about this.

- Flair's promo was brilliant and use of this backstage thing is VERY VERY GOOD.

- Really poor ending to the show. I dont like the way RVD wasnt featured again. Excellent show in my opinion bad, bad ending...WWE should win this week with the Draft.

PLEASE LEAVE THOUGHTS AND COMMENTS

[Ian "Wolfie" Trumps]

26th April - RAW

- Opening segment makes me want to murder Cole

- Kicking off tag titles match...I smell a ShoMiz loss and split! Miz really is fast becoming one of the big stars of this company. LMAO trained by 80 year old man! How quickly will the Hart Dynasty die when Bret is gone. Mountie was the greatest IC Champion! Still ribbing WCW...nice one WWE. I got to wonder if splitting the belts wouldnt have been a better idea. I mean there is stuff they can do on both brands with Tag gold. Good little match and really impressed at how over the win was for the Hart Dynasty.

- HHH and Sheamus has been a legitimate badass feud to be honest. Nice look back at last night. I couldnt be arsed with the PPV myself to be honest. Bizzare cut to interview with Swagger...

- I hate WWE Diva wrestling, but I will follow it for the point of journalism or whatever  I am doing...and all this for Kelly Kelly to go to Smackdown...SNOOZE.

- Michael Cole tells us why Evan Bourne is called Air Bourne...thanks. Bourne is a great spot monkey, but this promotion has killed him. Mystery dude comes out and gets Smackdown a pick. I really wish they would do something with Bourne. Not a bad match at all. G2S still looks the shit and they select Big Show...what the fuck?

- Gay segment with Long and Show. Now here comes the man of the moment...SHEAMUS! I love him on the microphone and now Orton this looks like it might be good. Cema blows...

[Ian "Wolfie" Trumps]

RAW - 26th April Continued...

- More Cena jokes on mayo and ketchup Sheamus. Well a nice title number one to look forward to.

- Smackdown guys come to the ring R-Truth hugs and holds  his Mexican orphan child...out wait thats Rey Mysterio. 3 picks on the line here, could be interesting. Liked the Henry elimination. I am a fan of things like battleroyals so it was fun to watch. Morrison, R-Truth and Edge. Now outn of this the only really impact one is Edge. Are we suppose to think the draw is random or what? Cause I am really confused...its not a draft then more like a lottery...

- Jericho's face is pretty amusing actually. Guy is pretty over...still dont like him lol. Russ comes out...nobody cares and cant cut a promo. Christian vs Jericho wohoo! Christian looks really awful in the ring apperance wise. Great match. With the battle royal, tag titles and this one the matches have been fun and impressive. Kofi to Smackdown....COLE SAID CONTROLLED FRENZY HEADING TO SMACKDOWN...CAN HE SAY IT ONE MORE TIME. I am sure he does this to wind me up.

- Swagger vs Morrison should be good and it is and Christian moving to Smackdown is a really good call as well.

- DiBiase on the search for Virgil 2...goes for R-Truth LMAO!

- Cena gets a better armed forces moment than Angle did...

- Swoggle vs Dolph. Come on...Dolph is being killed here.  Jeircho is off to RAW, again it seems a kind of weird draft.

- WheezeTista comes out and there is Sheamus. Triple threat match up. Been a good RAW for matches, though the draft feels like an epic fail. Good match, nice ending. RAW seems stacked.


Raw dropped the ball on the draft, but their overall show was better.

[Duckman]

TNA Impact 26th April 2010...CONTINUED

- Apparently life isnt the only thing to leave X Pac fucked and a pool of his own blood...

Quote of the century!

Peace

Duckman

[Ian "Wolfie" Trumps]

RAW â€" 3rd May 2010
- Highlights package was good, still don’t know why they are going Tista vs Cena again. Tista comes out, credit where credit it due, I don’t like the guy in the ring or as a character, but he is SO much better as a heel than he ever was as a face. Saw highlight of went on at Extreme Rules. I guess the ending makes Cena look really smart and Batista like a man who can pick up 300 pound men and slam them, but is foiled by ducktape. Maybe it was a homage to Duckman? I don’t know. I am confident Sam could battle ducktape. Anyway, Batista slags off beat the clock and then says he is looking forward to it. To save him contradicting himself again, Sheamus comes out. Thank the Lord! I really like Sheamus, does a great promo, ironically makes Batista look weak as hell. Sheamus says he will be Champion, takes Cole an entire segment to mention Sheamus as the first ever Irish born Champion, how come they don’t claim Batista is the first ever wheezy old man to lose via ducktape to be a WWE Champion? Has about as much relevance.

-   Weird cut away, back to Miz to cut a promo. I don’t understand why Cole has been doing this weird chuckle thing recently at supposed funny bits. Apparently Daniel Bryan is going to wrestle instead. Cole remarks on Bryan’s size...says an extra reject from Planet of the Apes. I am surprised they allowed Bryan to get in an offensive move and I am pretty applauded at the way they are just burying him as someone who can’t wrestle a lick. He better beat Miz sooner rather than later. Cole does his RAW u-turn on Bryan for commentary no loner super slagging him off. Does this entire Bryan thing stink of the 123 Kid? Batista wins...shocker. Batista then bombs Bryan to hell at this point we have had 23 minutes of a one and a half hour show on Dave Batista. Man, Marc Abrigo must have been doing some praying on the weekend. So in this entire skit...Batista has reminded us he lost in a pussy way, looked scared about Sheamus and got beat up for 5 minutes by someone potrayed as a WWE jobber. Way to book WWE.

-   Wayne Brady wasn’t he the token black man in Whos Line is it Anyway? Another highlight of Edge doing his thing...we have seen this. Eve, Jillian and Wayne skit was awful. Maryse hits Eve with the title. Then we go to Edge  having an interview...what the fuck is this booking? The dude has a segment later tonight why are we now 30 minutes into this show and focused on two bloody things!

-   Ted DiBiase Junior comes out, thank God for a change of pace. We are reminded of the Virgil skit from last week. DiBiase makes a fair point on the crapness of Truth’s song. John Morrison comes out...my concern is I smell a job to DiBiase which is shit given that Morrison can bring a lot to the table, but I also think DiBiase has a shit load of potential. It ends in a count out..what the fuck? Ok we are going for a restart? Wait....Morrison to be Virgil? I like the way that ‘Being a Virgil’ is now a term. I wonder if we can start our own terms...’Being a small monkey faced cock who can’t call a Wrestling match’...wonder if we can tag anyone with that huh? Lawler then tells us half the story of Virgil, forgetting when Virgil turned around and kicked the hell out of Ted DiBiase and had a brief run as Million Dollar Champion, I feel like I am in an American History class! Ha! Morrison actually looked like he wasn’t going to kick out the powerslam...Morrison beat DiBiase with the old Hitman move vs. Piper at Mania. Kind of annoys me cause its an ending I had planned for a Slam match.

-   Cena is up next...Cole gets a wee semi over this. Some kid in the front row dressed like Cena looks like he could be my illegitimate son...WTF IAN JUNIOR! Jericho comes out and is wearing a suit. I wish Jericho would have said...I don’t give a crap enough to do this and left it at that. Out comes Wade Barrett. You would have thought with all the talent RAW got in the draft they wouldn’t have had to have TWO matches with NXT rookies. Cole mentions Barrett is a bare knuckle fighter TWICE in one sentence and also how TALL he is twice in three sentences. Fucking hell Cole. Cena wins and then Sheamus takes him out. Well at least Sheamus is kicking about in this feud.

-   Anytime I see Maryse, I just wanna go through her Playboy pics. HA! Maryse wins in a pointless match...segment was actually funny post match.

-   Ryder vs Henry...more snickering during the promo. Weird and pointless squash match.

-   Jericho and Miz form a team...interesting. The 4th showing of the fucking Edge and Orton segment. Jesus H!

-   Kozlov promo. Brady bunch...stupid segment. Can’t be arsed to even mention anymore.

-   Hart Dynasty emerge! Pops are already dying...but that’s another thing. Kozlov and Regal already in the ring...WTF! Jericho will be a great colour commentator one day. Bollocks match up again. Jericho and Miz as a Tag Team...Cole’s comment ‘Duh they should be called the EGO MANIACS’...nice one dickhead.

-   HOLY FUCK AGAIN WITH THE EDGE SPEAR...CUTTING EDGE ORTON THING...HAVE WWE GOT NOTHING ELSE TO TALK ABOUT?

-   Ok the finale segment was a mixed bag. Edge’s promo was excellent. The ending was obvious...I just don’t think it warranted the build up it had.

-   Overall thoughts a pretty poor show from WWE. I mean I didn’t mind the cutting Edge, but the rest of the show was so poor it was crazy and the amount of time invested in putting over the ending of the show and what actually happened was really bad.

[Adam Wrong]

I love these reveiws and I chuckle but one thing pissed me off...

it's called DUCT tape! Not fucking duck tape! You don't tape ducks with it!

[Gary]

Ask Sam about his latest kinky night escpades!

[jagilki]

Ask Sam about his latest kinky night escpades!

Sam can't answer, he's still got duck tape on his mouth.

[Gary]

That Russ is one kinky mother fucker.

[Ian "Wolfie" Trumps]

I love these reveiws and I chuckle but one thing pissed me off...

it's called DUCT tape! Not fucking duck tape! You don't tape ducks with it!

I now retire from the comedy game. Apparently my attempt to be funny calling it duck tape has brought in criticism. Thus meaning, it was never witty, nor funny, nor amazingly smart in the first place. Ian...you suck.

[Ian "Wolfie" Trumps]

TNA Impact 3rd May 2010

-   I really really like the opening to Impacts. They have great video cuts and despite not having the production value of WWE I think they are better. We open with a limo shot of Hogan and Eric. A bit goobley gook in reference to what the hell they are talking about, but I really dig these camera angles.

-   Hogan apparently will turn detective tonight. As I predicted reference the whole ‘hall of fame ring’ story which I was 100 percent right about them using it to turn Abyss from an idiot into a “confident wrestler” and he doesn’t believe it has magical powers (does this mean I am in league with Russo!). I am a little kind of bummed this is a major storyline this week. Anyway, news on the move to Thursday, I still think this is a good move and I think I have said enough on that in the other thread...so...also Spike picks up Reaction. Can’t all be bad for the TNA haters. Jay Lethal comes out and literally KILLS as the Ric Flair impression. Literally I thought that was one of the funniest things I have ever seen in wrestling. Check it out for a parody. Ok we assume that Lethal got the ring, which is fine, but I mean why didn’t we have an actual introduction of this. The cliff hanger last week was someone was going to get the ring, so the natural thought is someone will be PRESENTED with the ring. Very crappy booking. Lethal gives Flair back the ring, great back and forth promo moments between the two. Lethal and Flair go at it. Team Flair comes out and makes the save and beats down on Lethal. Abyss like a little fat ass comes waddling out...in a totally homosexual moment appears to clear house. Thank God they get the better of him. Dudleys come out next and now we have a big brawl in the middle of the ring. RVD then comes out holding a chair like it’s a dirty babies nappy. Ok, I am wondering what the hell the point of this was...

-   More Hogan and Eric in a limo. Something apparently is going to happen. The limo is turning around...shouldn’t they be at the show anyways?

-   Apparently Team Flair aka The Horses Asses want some more. At this stage we are about 20 minutes into the show and although the action is semi exciting, I am left with that feeling like I did with RAW that it’s going on too long. Hogan then clears house...oh for fucks sake, what’s the point of this. This is when it’s hard to defend TNA. We come back from break to more brawling, at least they are selling it better with security and what not. Hogan then releases some sort of nonsensical promo for the first part. Wolfe who won the online poll gets his shot at the World title tonight which is good. Styles will face Abyss in a Monsters Ball match...hopefully that means he is isn’t going to do his best impression of Billy Bob Thornton and fuck AJ ‘Halle Berry’ Stylez up pooh alley. 3D, Beer Money and the Machine Guns will fight as well...the Machine Guns who didn’t actually feel the need to come out here.  Its good, but the belts on the line again this week...not digging that.

-   BP segment...I mean any male who isn’t gay just wants to fuck the three of them senseless.

-   Douglass Williams and Kendrick in the ring discussing the fact Williams has been stripped off the belt and to be fair to him it’s a good point. I called it last week the team of Moore and Neal...though maybe I wasn’t as savvy to come up with the name Ink Inc. Or maybe I wasn’t that gay. I think this is the sort of matches TNA needs to put on more of. Mostly because it’s a none title affair which means the belts are doing hot potato as much. Morgan comes out and cuts a promo promising open season. This match is pretty exciting to be honest. Ink Inc. win and Douglass doesn’t lose any face. Kendrick and Williams blame one another to keep their heat alive and then Samoa Joe comes out and destroys people. Joe then teases an explanation and then decides he’d rather not. Maybe the ninjas stole his confidence of public speaking. Let’s give him a Hall of Fame ring!

-   Flair does the worst job ever of closing a door and then does a great job of cutting a backstage promo of getting his team pumped up and then realizes the door was open, TNA have door hinges which aren’t over. Hogan then does a little thing backstage where we are going to reveal why Sting is pissed off. Hogan shall confront Sting tonight!

-   Anderson and Pope are backstage, nice cut in here. LMAO Anderson dressed as what appears to be a choir boy. This guy is one of the best things about the company right now. Man, it’s like the Reverend James Onlee coming to the ring lol! ‘Forgive them father for they not know what they speak’ LMAO! Anderson is in my opinion and I am throwing this out there the best mic man in both WWE and TNA right now. Jeff Hardy isn’t impressed by this impression so he rides a creature of the night...actually no he just walks onto the stage and is going to say something. Hopefully something Anderson can take the piss out of. Apparently the creatures of the night and congregation are one in the same. Anderson’s laugh was very funny. Anderson and Hardy at Sacrifice! Plus it keeps the Pope and Anderson’s feud alive. Nicely booked TNA. Anderson continues cutting a tremendous promo and good interaction with the fans as well. Jeff Hardy apparently likes Anderson’s panties then does a rather funny impression of Anderson speaking. Overall a great segment. Well done TNA, well done indeed.

-   Women fighting is up next. Fuck the chicks in the ring...I wanna see this BP intro. It’s a highlight of the wrestling week. Honestly, the three of them are so BANG WORTHY it’s crazy. The Tara heel turn continues as she flips on her team. BP take advantage and get the win. Beautiful People are the best holders of the belts at the moment given there is no Kong. Tara’s goodbye is complete at Sacrifice no doubt.

-   Tag Team match and here we go! MCMG who really have no reason to be in this match. A very meh match and then The Band intervene. Apparently now Young is a Band member. Massive mele ensues. I guess all the teams will be feuding over the belts if and when Morgan gives them up.

-   Ozone segment is next...Whoopi Fagburg comes out. Rob Terry is the first guest, but its merely a cut out. Reaction is pretty awful in the arena. Tazz then asks the question we are all thinking...how long is this going to go? Robb Terry then comes out and destroys and hope of cloning by destroying himself...well the cutout. Beats up Jordan, Jordan then jumps him from behind.  He then throws a paper machete statue on Robb. Awful segment...

-   Abyss and AJ is up next.  Could well of been a PPV match. Awsome spot at the end. I am not sure why Abyss would have shown compassion for Chelsea, kind of bad booking there is you ask me. But I am glad to see AJ didnt job to Abyss.

-   RVD and Wolfe up next. They listened to the fans, but I think giving it on Impact and making it a shitty match wasn’t cool. AJ activates his rematch clause at Sacrifice. I would have booked this as a triple threat match instead.

-   Jarrett is beaten up...not sure why this Sting segment is going to end the show. Why didnt we end with RVD and Wolfe? Hell this could be as bad as the ending to RAW! Sting comes out and cuts a hell of a promo. Hogan plays a great chess game apparently...personally I think he’d struggle with Connect 4. Jarrett comes out and nails Sting...and then some weird ending...ok...

-   Overall thoughts. The Ozone thing might be the worst segment in professional wrestling. Other than that and the drawn out beginning I thought a really, really good show. Much better than RAW. A win for TNA this week...but Ozone and the end almost cost them.

[jagilki]

My only real complaint about iMPACT (and I watched it on DVR and fast forwarded the O-Zone so can't comment on that) was Eric Young joining the band.  That one gives me a headache to figure out.

[Adam Wrong]

Whoopie Fagburg was a winner but let down by your paper machete statue...

Again a read that makes me laugh out loud

[Ian "Wolfie" Trumps]

RAW - 10th May

- In case you didnt see it last week in the 19 times they built to it, Orton and Edge dont like each other and this week we will kick off the show...again with Orton and Edge. Meat Loaf is a hero, he comes out and cuts up this rather annoying opening segment, but ironically being less annoying though we are suppose to be annoyed by him! I have a feeling the RKO is the new Stunner...Meat Loaf begins to sing for us. He should be a regular WWE personality. RKO! Or kind of reminding of the time when SCSA did a crap stunner on Vince in the early days...POOR. Out comes Edge. Says something about tweeting. Guest hosts wont have any authority apparently. Vikki Guerrero comes out as the new GM. Sorry...is there a time machine we are using to rehash a storyline from 2 years back? I will give that fat Mexican horse faced trollop something...she gets good heel heat. So Orton now is in a handicap match...exciting. Man, I am totally already not into this show.

- Jericho and Miz seen backstage. I could dig this union. Wonder why Big Ben wasnt there with the rest of the Steelers...off raping. Cole makes an Iron Man reference...look at this cunts face he is soooo pleased with his little iron man reference. Jericho apparently earns a Tag title chance for him and Miz by beating DH Smith. My question is when the fuck is Neidhart's daughter going to wrestle again.

- Edge is then seen talking to a burgular wearing speedos...oh wait its Big Dave. Flavor Flav comes out with R-Truth. Michael Cole is having a wee chuckle fest to himself again. Flavour Flav is like 50 and still speaks like a twat. OMG will this end. Why the hell is Regal not in the ring already kicking ass. LMAO @ crowd not into saying 'yeah' when they scanned the crowd. All of a sudden two further guys that had their entrances stolen by that burgular from earlier tonight came out and kicked his ass. Flav is up in arms...DiBiase comes out and gives a payoff to the Colons. Its like life imitating art of Gary working for me. Now go kill Black Death!

- More attempts by WWE to make us give a hoot about Eve. The Green Power Ranger instructs Maryse pre RAW to fight. She goes mental and beats him up. Josh the squirt then interviews Randy who hasnt apparently had enough airtime already tonight.

- WHY THE FUCK HAS GAIL KIM BEEN BURIED...Ryder is out there macking on chicks. Air Bourne his opponent. Bourne gets the chick after a win over Ryder.
Really...whats the point of this.


- Cena is coming out to make an announcement, hopefully he is retiring...no, he is justifing his quacky win over Dave. He's been called many things in his life and deserved everyone one of them, does that include when I called you a closet homosexual...anyway here comes an I Quit Match. Sheamus is called out and apparently now is known as Mayo. OMFG IRISH BORN WWE CHAMPION...SHUT UP YOU CUNT! Sheamus and Tista do a number on Cena including the worst kick ever by Tista to kick Cena off the apron. THEN MARK HENRY COMES OUT...WTF...AND LMAO. OH MY GOD LMAO...WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT BACK ROLL FROM BATISTA!!!! LMAO!!!!!!!

- Edge and Vikki segment...taking place in a 1974 American kitchen/family room. I feel asleep. Anyway we are back Kidd vs. Miz. Then some gay way to finish this one...Natyla battles her tits popping out. Miz cuts a great post match promo. Ummm someone shouted out Owen when he was going to make the announcement...but instead Miz chooses Bret. Batista vs Henry apparently.

- 8 rookies vs team RAW. All of which have Morrison glasses...their entrance looked like something from RAW if your game was slowly crashing. Bit of a slow start, seems  Otunga has a load of turds in the back of his trunks...Daniel Bryan wins with the WORST SMALL PACKAGE EVER...

- Highlights of Avatar...I mean Drew McIntyre being fired. Kind of a stupid angle really.

- Another host moment. I did actually laugh at this one. Then Michael Cole had a gangster attack...and he ruined it for me. Regal's rap rocked.

- Tista vs Henry. You know before they even come out its going to be a DQ deal to save Henry and push Tista and low and behold Tista is sat on a chair which doesnt take a genius to work out he is going to use.

- Orton vs Edge/?...it would make sense to be Rhodes or DiBiase. DiBiase it is! I rule! Trust fund angle. Hmmmm could be interesting I guess...Not a bad match to be honest, I enjoy all three of them as wrestlers. RTruth is now getting to run into RAW MEs...not bad going RTruth. Also, Orton has this whole sneaky snake thing down very well.

OVERALL...PRETTY FUCKING AWFUL SHOW....