Your greatest drunken exploit

[chunkylover]

Mine is probably this:

When I was 15, I went to Faliraki with 2 mates, the drink deal was, buy 2 pints each, get 4 shots each and get a fishbowl to share (I only gather they're VERY liberal on age there) I then remember waking up in a greek hospital with my holiday rep... We don't really talk about this anymore.
I've also seen my drunk mate try and break into a school and getting impaled on a palisade fence.

But mine are stupid as I'm a child... what is your greatest drunken exploit EFK?

[Zombie Gunn]

I mostly get sleepy after a few drinks and wander off to bed. Fun times.

[Hondo]

Never had a drunk experience. So there.

[chunkylover]

God, I hate old people.

[Sgt. Josh Underpants]

Where do I begin.

Let's see There was going into the store in front of my house drunk off my ass bouncing around clutching a box of Ho-Ho's like they were the last box.  Standing in line where a dude rolls up with a flat bed full of Coke and whispering to him that he forgot the Captain and Jack.

Drinking and running around so much that mid run I threw up but spit it out ala HHH, thank waking up in the morning to chunks of vomit in my hair.

Then there is the Margarita song followed by my freakout when I thought the people I live with were texting my sister to tell her I was drunk.

lots more but i dont remember them all

[Excaligore]

Never had a drunk experience. So there.

Same.

[Cory]

7 beer, a quart of fireball whiskey, and a hit of extacy before the semi-formal at my school last year. I don't remember a whole lot, but I remember dancing with the hot student teacher and throwing up on our security guard as he tossed a few of my mates and I, along with my date out halfway through the dance for being to rowdy. Best night maybe of my life.

[RickRampage]

Mine was last Halloween. I was at a costume party at the bar as a vampire with insert teeth. I had a couple of drinks there and then when the bar closed, a couple of us, about 10, went to a friend's house. We had two suitcases of beer, a bottle of tequila, rum, and vodka. We decided to play Circle of Death, which is a drinking game that well, it's hard to explain. If you don't know, oh well; all you need to know is it gets you drunk. After the game was over, I had downed about seven beers, five shots of each liquor, and was totally shit faced. I woke up on a bed with my friend Dre's head next to mine, with his body off the mattress that was placed on the ground and I was fully on the mattress. All I heard was a couple people say that he had just peed in the trash can and then passed out. I took the pillow from him and flipped around and went back to sleep.

I woke up a couple hours later and the keys to my truck we gone, and so were my vampire teeth. My friends told me that my friend Joanna had my truck because she had to get to work, which I was cool with and she brought back food at 3pm when she got off. I then go on to find out that apparently Joanna had given me and lap dance and I screamed at the top of my lungs, 'I LOVE JOANNA NAKED!' I then find out that I pretty much made out with every girl at the party, even the not so attractive ones, and bit them all on their necks with my vampire teeth. Then, apparently I was about to get lucky when I began to throw up over the railing of my friends front porch. After I was done, my friends said I passed out. That is my drunken exploit.

[Judge]

Mine was last Halloween. I was at a costume party at the bar as a vampire with insert teeth. I had a couple of drinks there and then when the bar closed, a couple of us, about 10, went to a friend's house. We had two suitcases of beer, a bottle of tequila, rum, and vodka. We decided to play Circle of Death, which is a drinking game that well, it's hard to explain. If you don't know, oh well; all you need to know is it gets you drunk. After the game was over, I had downed about seven beers, five shots of each liquor, and was totally shit faced. I woke up on a bed with my friend Dre's head next to mine, with his body off the mattress that was placed on the ground and I was fully on the mattress. All I heard was a couple people say that he had just peed in the trash can and then passed out. I took the pillow from him and flipped around and went back to sleep.

I woke up a couple hours later and the keys to my truck we gone, and so were my vampire teeth. My friends told me that my friend Joanna had my truck because she had to get to work, which I was cool with and she brought back food at 3pm when she got off. I then go on to find out that apparently Joanna had given me and lap dance and I screamed at the top of my lungs, 'I LOVE JOANNA NAKED!' I then find out that I pretty much made out with every girl at the party, even the not so attractive ones, and bit them all on their necks with my vampire teeth. Then, apparently I was about to get lucky when I began to throw up over the railing of my friends front porch. After I was done, my friends said I passed out. That is my drunken exploit.

So just like a frat boy?

[Rob]

My worst one is probably the tent experience. Went to a makeshift camp site with some mates, drank obscene amounts of fucking everything. Literally had beer, whiskey, rum, vodka, gin, mixed it all together and I swear my vomit was bright pink, either that or I was so drunk it actually looked bright pink. Nonetheless, at about 2ish, my girl mate had to be taken to hospital to have her stomach pumped, so most other people that had turned up drifted away at that point. I was left in a nearby car park with the school cunt, a really hairy cunt and my mate burning a yellow pages. Long story short, someone must've reported it because a fire engine turned up. We legged it, but I tripped and fell, smashed my arm up pretty bad with blood everywhere and that was the last I saw of my mate. Next thing I know, I'm waking up by myself in the tent and my mate has felt guilty so he's left his home where he spent the night and has come looking for me.


Same guy, was his birthday a couple years later in a place called Parkstone which is about 10-15 miles from where I live. We're having a pretty good time in an attic above a pub, listening to a bit of live music. Foolishly, I'm on the beer. Even more foolishly, it was Stella. So I tell my mate I'm going home, I somehow get downstairs, walk down the road toward the bus stop and then realise I need a piss! Now, I could've turned around and gone back to the pub, but no... I was so fucking smashed, I spot a Tyreland and I know from the past that there's quite a secluded space around the back, so I go round, I have a piss and then I think "shit, I need to puke!". So I double down and puke, next thing I know I'm getting comfortable for a nap. I think only a few minutes pass when a cop car pulls up alongside, takes my ringing phone from my hand (fortunately it was my Dad) and then help arrange a lift home for me.

As I said to Chunky, I've also spliced up my leg pretty bad on a 6 foot iron fence trying to climb over but I got caught on it.


Broke my nose as well when I forgot my keys. Tried crawling through the kitchen window, got my ass stuck. When I finally pushed myself through, I went flying straight onto the laminated wooden floors, right on my face. That, was a facepalm.


Hmmm, I think that's about it that I can remember. I've had so many stupid drunken things, it's trying to pick the best of the best. I'll probably have another on Saturday night.

[Doug E Fresh]

Seated Senton to a buddy of mine down a small corridor of stairs at a local bar. Dislocated bones in my foot. Took 2 months to heal. Was absolutely awesome.

[Blake True]

Munich Germany, world cup 2006, I had just discovered that the Germans drink their beer out of Steiners (not pints) i think its roughly a litre but not too sure.  Me and my buddy had started at 11:00am in one of their most historical beer gardens and stayed there for about 8 hours, we watched the Germany vs Poland game and it was jam packed with fraulines and whatever the males are called.  Prior to leaving for this trip my dad (what a guy) had told me the German national anthem was Deutchland Uber Alas which I later found out to my horror had in fact been banned just after the Nazis were defeated. (rough translation 'Germany, Germany above all else')  So I was singing it as loud as possible thinking I was blending in with the natives until the girl next to me started crying (wtf??) and I was told it was illegal.

Because the beer garden was SO big they had these kind of golf buggy things that would drive around picking up the empties and being a student at the time i thought it would make the best beer trophy ever (how i was going to get it into the hotel or on the plane didn't cross my mind.)  So I decided that the best thing to do was steal the overloaded buggy while the driver was doing his job.  Of course they aren't really that fast, i sat in the seat, slammed the pedal to the metal and slowly moved off, I was later told I was screaming (like a girl) with excitment at this point.  Then I was wrestled to the ground by a group of German teenagers (not the driver) who thankfully didn't want to see a Scots man have his holiday ruined by being ass raped for the next two weeks in jail.  These were the same guys who we'd been drinking with for most of the day and I thank the Lord that they did stop me before I crashed at 3 mph.  But how did I thank them?? The only way a pissed Scots man knows, I challenged them to a fight!!!! Yeah!! 

If it was the other way round and it was a German guy in the U.K doing this i am 100% certain that he would be killed or left for the cops.  For this reason Germans will always have a special place in my heart.  This of course could all be bollocks, I remember the garden and I remember being pulled out of the buggy, the rest my mate told me and he said it was a pretty special night.

The most drunk ive ever been was 8 beers and 2 bottles of wine in 90 minutes (Man U vs Besiktas Rooney hatrick euro debut) but i just passed out and may or may not have pissed myself, yay! Thankfully I no longer drink.

[Ryan Ruckus]

'Greatest' is a misnomer in this particular case.

One Halloween, got loaded, blatantly hit on my buddy's girl. Got in a fight. Passed out in the driveway of some strangers house, barring anyone there from leavinguntil they finally carried my stupid ass inside.

One time, freshman year of college, drank an entire bottle of Tequilla Rose, told my best female friend I was desperatly in love with her, then threw up on her shoes. It was definitely pink.

One summer, was hanging out with some kids from the local theatre show. Totally arranged to hook up with a cute little jewish girl who was seeing another dude at the party, kicked that dude out of the apartment, and passed out making out with the girl.

During my co bachelor/bachelorette party, got smashed and told my wife's entire bridal party they were cunts for not wanting to stay at the strip club.

About two months ago, drank two bottles of red wine during a poker game, threw up all over the car on the ride home, passed out with my head IN the toilet. Woke up wearing my T-shirt like boxer shorts. Won the poker game.

Back in college, drank Goldschlagger (?) for the first time, mixing it with jell-o shots. Got written up for underage drinking, escorted one of the girls there back to her dorm, followed her right into the girls bathroom to take a leak, and got written up again. Got put on probation, but that didn't matter, cause I dropped out anyway.

And one time, I almost killed myself by jumping off a building. Not cause I wanted to die, but because I wanted to prove that everybody telling me not to do it was a doubting asshole.   

I have since graduated to whiskey. 

[Sgt. Josh Underpants]

Guess I took this as more of the funniest moments so didn't consider this one, but here's another great one.

Like a year ago me and a couple of friends went to Chili's to eat and for a couple of drinks, stayed there till they closed but decided we weren't done drinking yet.  We temporarily split up with two of us going to my house to get booze and the other two going to the house we were going to to get it set up.  Got to my friends at around midnight and 3 of the 4 of us kept drinking till 4 am  Somewhere in there I fucked up and took a warm shot of Vodka and ended up leaving a puddle of puke outside my friends door.  Night starts winding down and the other guy decides to head home since he had sobered up.  Me and the other girl were too fucked up so we agreed to stay at the other chicks house for the night.  I originally did the gentlemanly thing and slept on the floor while the two girls shared the bed.  I was kind of hoping to see some action cause one chick was a lesbian and the other when drunk enough will make out with pretty much anyone.  Like 15-20 minutes go by and I say fuck it and just jump in the bed behind the straight chick and just wrap my arm around her to cuddle, cause I'm a touchy feely drunk.  Next thing I know she has one of my hands down her pants and the other rubbing her boob.  Lesbian chick rolls over smiles and rolls back over.  Long story short did my friend with the lesbain next to us.  Went to work the next morning and all three of us were still drunk and actually smelled like alcohol the whole day to the point to where everyone in the store knew it was a good day.  BTW getting a fist pump from a lesbain for getting laid is awesome.

[Black Death]

can not remember it... must have been fun   oh there were naked people