Talking to normal women

[Excaligore]

How can you? They're always running away so quickly!

[Kise]

She smelled like chicken broth or some shit when we hugged. I dunno. It had this salty essence about it. It was probably chicken noodle soup. She's cool though. Mildly eccentric and we never had a pause in conversation.

The fuck was that smell though?

[Double G]

She likes Asian Food?

My woman smelt like that one day and truth be told it does through you off a little when she smells different.

Or we're both weird like that.

Just be glad you didn't have awkward silences and you just kept on talking and talking.

Congrats?

[Kise]

Not sure. Give me a few more 1-on-1 sessions with her and we'll see. No anal required yet.

[Triple B]

If it smells like chicken noodle soup... don't put any appendage inside it.

[Black Death]

the smell of food is been know to addict cetain males ...  other then the chicken smell sound like you had fun

[Draeden]

Aha, finally! My area of expertise!

*cracks knuckles*

So here's my top 5 tips for talking to girls; just for you my friend:

5. Twilight is THE SHIT. But only because of Edward. It's all about the Edward.
4. Respect the fact that she's a woman. This might sound simple but it's amazing how many men forget to compliment women on their affinity for kitchen-related activities. Tell her that she can polish your silverware and surface-tops any day. Or better yet, tell her you bet she could deep-throat a cucumber, she'll love you forever for saying that and apparently it's a huge turn-on.
3. You're pro at Call of Duty, dawg. Chicks dig teh d00dz wit skillz and are guaranteed to smoke pole if you've got a kill/death ratio of 4.00 or above - TRIED AND TESTED FACT!
2. The insinuation that they have lesbian tendancies is, contrary to popular belief (and aside from being COMPLETELY TRUE), flattering. If they argue or deny this, challenge them to have sex with you to prove it. If they decline, well, they're definitely lesbians and will share any such encounters they've had with you via the medium of pictures & videos. If they don't have access to their dynamic lesbian library then they'll be happy to describe it over the phone to you, in detail, with sound effects.
1. Talk about your Pokémon in as much depth as you can, especially the cute ones like Pikachu, Squirtle and Charmander. She like cats? Well it just so happens that you have a high-level Meowth that you use ALL THE TIME, MAN because it's the BEST DAMN POKÉMON THERE IS!

Trust me dude, follow these tips and you'll be balls-deep in bitches before you can say "Shut up Draeden, that's a total crock of shit." No need to thank me, honestly, I'll just be here emanating awesomeness while I juggle my pearls of epic wisdom.

[Double G]

Because these are the only two words that really sum up what you just said.

EPIC.

FAIL.

[Jennifer]

Or, y'know, a joke.

You know, those things that make people laugh?

Well, not that you'd know much about it...

[Draeden]

Because these are the only two words that really sum up what you just said.

EPIC.

FAIL.

My tips have worked for you so far, right?

[Duckman]

Or, y'know, a joke.

You know, those things that make people laugh?

Well, not that you'd know much about it...

Chants:  You got bitch slapped, clap clap clap clap, you got bitch slapped!

Peace

Duckman

[Ian "Wolfie" Trumps]

How can you? They're always running away so quickly!

Bear traps

[Russ]

My tips have worked for you so far, right?

Tips?

Garth loved Twilight anyway.

[Kise]

<--- Team Jacob motherfucker

I've also got this stalker that's been hounding me for a month now. She saw me a year ago at this new years thing and told my sister to bring me to church again (lul)... I didn't return until the next new years a month ago. So, I made the terrible mistake of giving her all of my contact info (#, email, facebook, twit) and when I turn around, she sends me 3 emails the same day -- The first being her # and a request to call, then the last 2 being forwarded copies of the first email "in case the first email didn't go through".... but those 3 emails all came within 4 hours of each other.

Okay, so I don't reply to them shits and in fact I re-made them into unopened emails in case she was tracking it or something. Next day she texts me saying "bye," so I ask who it was and we acquaint for a bit until I stop responding due to being busy with my Nana. So she sent like 7 extra texts, of course asking hello and saying goodbye about 3 times. Day after that she texts me saying shes about to leave for work, at the mall, in the food court, 7:30 am, across from the Sbarro's.

I'm turned way the fuck off at that point and decide not to call at all. Last thing I want in my life is a needy ass broad looking for a baby daddy (her kid is 6 months old BTW). I skip church. A lot. So she calls on my sister's phone, which I immediately identified as a trap and said fuck picking up. She texts me saying it's her (I had my o rly-face on), and how mad she is I haven't been to church in forever, and I'm going to have to make it up to her by going to TGI Fridays with her that Friday (2 weeks ago) and I'm driving, so I better be there, smiley face.

I hit her back like a week later over facebook asking for her addy and she tells me I gotta call because she'll be at work. In my head, I'm saying fuck a phone call. Well, my heart decides to warm up last night and I made it up in my mind that I would call at the ass crack of dawn today. As soon as I finish scrubbing my balls, the bitch done texted me minutes before, saying if I didn't call that instant she "am not" going out tomorrow.... The next text she sent an hour later had a bunch of hieroglyphic crop circle shit, followed by "bye." Then she called. And called again. And again. And paged me every time. The last time she called today, the phone only rang once.. guess she had 2nd thoughts. I'm currently betting there will be approximately 7 more calls before the stroke of midnight so let's make a paypal pool and get this shit on.

Moral of the story is, don't go to church.

Preview-Edit: She called 4 minutes ago as I was typing this. So, 6 more calls tonight.

[Ian "Wolfie" Trumps]

Moral of the story is Kise will call her a stalker, yet apparently go out of his way to be friendly/do stuff with her. No wonder she is "stalking" you.