2009 Detroit Lions Schedule

[Logan Taylor]

September
13................Taft Junior High School
20................Cub Scout Troop #101
27................Detroit Blind Academy

October
04................Spanish American War Vets
11................Crippled Children's Home
18................Eloise Mental Hospital
25................Girl Scout Troop # 353

November
01.................Michigan Venereal Disease Clinic
08.................Fraser Boys Choir
15.................Korean Amputees
22.................National Hospital Pastorial Ministers
26.................Great Lakes Synchronized Swimming Team

SPECIAL MONDAY NIGHT GAME
December
08..................Grand Rapids Gay Boys Club


RULE CHANGES FROM LAST YEAR **

1 - When playing polio patients, the Lions must not disconnect
knee braces.
2 - When playing the Blind Academy , the Lions must not hide
the football under their jerseys.

** RULES THE SAME FROM LAST YEAR **

1 - A touchdown (this is when the ball is carried over the
goal line. For all you Lions fans that have never seen this) it
is still worth 6 points.
2 - The Lions will be allowed 20 men on the field at all times.
3 - The Lions will be allowed to substitute with band members at
anytime.
4 - The Lions will be awarded 10 timeouts as opposed to 3
for the opposing team.
5 - The Lions will be awarded a first down with each gain of three
yards or more, instead of the usual ten yards.

** NAME CHANGE **

The Detroit Lions will be changed to the "Detroit Tampons" as they are only
good for one period and have no second string.

** PLAYER CHANGE **

Field goal kicker will be replaced by Monica Lewinsky. She will no
doubt blow a few, but she certainly won't choke on the big ones!!

[JohnS.]

Haha...Classic! That shit is pure gold. But don't be too quick to hate on the Lions. Next year they're probably gonna have Michael Vick 

That should get them at least...1 win.

[Exile]

you laugh, but that actually IS ohio states schedule.

[Logan Taylor]

Don't get me wrong, I'm from Detroit and I love my Lions, but I am also a realist and stopped hoping for a "good season" (at least 10 wins) for a while now.  And I don't think they will bring on Vick. Ford is a "family man" which is why the Lions don't have Cheerleaders. They will use their first round pick on some "prospect" QB like Bradford and have no idea what to do with them and he will go to waste riding the bench while Orlo gets the starts.  

I lost all hope for the 2009-2010 season already when they decided to promote Tom Lewand to President and Martin Mayhew (Millen's right hand man) to GM instead of realizing their formula within the organization is shit and they need to wipe the slate clean and start fresh.  I would love to see Bill Parcells opt out with Miami and come to Detroit, but he and Ford both are too stubborn and hard headed to work with each other. Ford wants a man he can manipulate and be his puppet for yet another losing season and that is not Parcells.

It is a vicious cycle that will only end when William Clay Ford announces his retirement or that he is selling the team to a new owner.

[EWAStaff]

I'm right there with you, Kamen.

Although, I suppose there's a reason they call it "Hockeytown".

Anyhow, I'm a Michigander and I'm proud of it... even if both my football teams sucked this year. (Lions and Wolverines)