Going Haywire: Five Athletes Besides Gina Carano Who Should Be In Movies

[Fnord]

Could the next action star be a good sportsman?

Just as Michael Ovitz once looked at aikido instructor Steven Seagal and saw a star, or Steven Soderbergh believed in a big-screen Gina Carano, we see great potential here.



1. Tim Tebow. It probably wouldn't be too hard to convince Tebow to make a religious-themed flick, but we'd like to advocate for one where he plays a demon-whupping archangel, rather than, say, a regular guy who learns how to be a better father. Plus, courtesy of John Parr, he already has his own soundtrack.



2. Nate Quarry. He played a zombie in a video game, and has expressed interest in underground cage-fights with the undead, so let's make that happen onscreen. Throw in cameos from Steven Seagal and Randy Couture for good measure.

3. Michael Phelps. He just needs the right script: something about a nuclear submarine sinking to an absurd depth at which only a specially trained former Olympian could survive the pressure. But first, some sexy sensei would have to teach him how to use a weapon...and his heart.



4. The Miz. An obnoxious ex-contestant on MTV reality shows who plays up that persona in WWE, Mike Mizanin has awesome improv skills and a talent for becoming hated. We'd like to see Jaden Smith kick him in the crotch in a Karate Kid sequel.



5. Akebono. When you've run out of the other martial arts, why not a sumo action star?