For Stoner and Jesse Gunn

[Ian "Wolfie" Trumps]

Two names that spring to mind with this article...

http://web.archive.org/web/20050428004220/http://65.127.124.62/south_asia/4483241.stm.htm

[Russ]

Jesse can't come to the internet right now, as he's headed for the border with a tonne of bottled water and tinned food.

[Cory]

...lol. Im doing my Biology homework on this....thanks for doing part of my hw Ian.....lol

[Alex Smiley]

Braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaains

[Level-One]

Braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaains

...Still waiting for you to get one.

[Judge]

Oh Goddammit.

Someone is testing the mother fucking T-Virus.

[Stoner]

My computer refuses to allow me to load the page.  I think its a god damned conspiracy though.  News of zombies and I don't get to see it?

Zombiphobes: 1

"Scientists": Like 20.

But we've got one now.  That means we have validity.

[Cory]

For Stoner:

There has been a small outbreak of “zombism” in a small town near the border of Laos in North-Eastern Cambodia.

The culprit was discovered to be mosquitoes native to that region carrying a new strain of Malaria which thus far has a 100 percent mortality rating killing victims in fewer than 2 days.

After death, this virus is able to restart the heart of it’s victim for up to two hours after the initial demise of the person where the individual behaves in extremely violent ways from what is believe to be a combination of brain damage and a chemical released into blood during “resurrection.”

Cambodian officials say that the outbreak has been contained and the public has no need to worry.

General Ary Serey had this to say, "We have obtained samples of this new virus and plan to learn how it starts the heart and other major organs of the deceased. We intend to use this to increase the quality of life for all."

US Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice opposed the plan saying that the Cambodian government holds a great biological weapon and should destroy it immediately. Cambodian officials have yet to comment.

A United Nations team will be dispatched to Cambodia to confirm the safety of biological research in Cambodia.

[jagilki]

I'm fucking serious.... is this real?  or a fucked up joke?

[Cory]

Im pretty sure it was an april fools joke...but it's better to act like it's real.

[Judge]

Bit old-- dateline is Monday, 25 April, 2005